It's obvious that the world has changed. Some say for the better, some say for the worse. I think the truth is found somewhere in the middle.
Regardless of your opinion, I want to address the human response we were designed to have in the midst of change-especially the crushing variety.
When my father passed away some weeks ago, I entered into a place of deep pain. To say he left a void would be an understatement. But what is striking is the advice a friend and adviser gave me. He told me to expect, potentially, a two-year journey through grieving. I immediately thought: "I don't have two years to give." My mind, body and soul said: "yes you do." You see the dichotomy between my "poser" self and the real Eric Pennington?
I am no longer able to deny the real Eric Pennington, so I am preparing for whatever may come. This hasn't set well with some because of their need for me to be ok. I understand this and I am learning to navigate these waters with grace. It hurts.
So what do you do when the changes (career, love, death, other life events) come? Do you resort to old tricks? Do you convince yourself that you just haven't found the right marketing (yes, we apply marketing to our personal lives)?
Here are some observations that I have found appropriate in moving through a changing world:
- Some things are meant to end. Letting go not only sets a pace for coping, but it allows the new to enter. I don't miss corporate America because I found my life when I lost that way of existing. The pain of that was excruciating and liberating all at the same time.
- Our lives are a story played in the midst of a backdrop called eternity. A heaven-created story on display for all to see. Keep in-mind here that no great movie or book is predictable. So if you have a great life, it will look different than you imagined-better I might add.
- We must come to terms with our fears. Yours could be different than mine, but we were designed to confront them. Not doing this will leave you crippled and half-alive. Don't by into the dogma of "I'm ok, your ok." Assigning blame to a circumstance or another person is a recipe for regret.
- Believing in a vision and it's eventual matching up with life is essential. For example, I have a vision of a day when the thought of my father will not illicit heartbreak. Life does not meet up to that now, but it will. Use this in any change path and you will inject a hope of great depth.
- Knowing yourself through a deliberate inventory of your tendencies will make sense of your journey. I haven't always done this well. I've spent days asking why I have recurring challenges of a certain variety. I have discovered that these challenges were my tendencies. For example, virtually all my life I have been underestimated. Many doubters, many scoffers and critics alike would bring resistance. When I recognized that underestimation was a tremendous tool, I experience much success and breakthrough. Know your tendencies.