Sorry I’m a little late in posting the last in my series on leadership.  Yesterday got away from me in a big way.

Be Authentic is the first chapter in my new book.  The subject of authenticity is spot on with where leaders are today.  Many have written about it, but I hope what I have will grow it further.

You can click here to read an excerpt from the book on being authentic.

A good friend told me this week that there is danger in what we see versus what we don’t see.  Ten years ago I would have jumped out of my chair.  My how ten years can change things.  I believe firmly in the idea of the unseen.

"We are surrounded by opportunities, brilliantly masked as impossibilities."

               -Author Unknown

If you want to grow your leadership, then you need to start dealing in the currency of the unseen.  And yes, lot’s of what you encounter will look impossible.  I think impossibilities are like a test to see if you’re really committed to what you do and say.

As a leader beware of these "seen" situations:

• I’m close to retirement, so I’ll let someone younger tackle this.
• We don’t have the funds to invest in something so untested.
• No one from my family has ever done or even attempted this.
• The marketplace is too crowded, you’ll get lost in the mass.
• Following your vision is OK, but you’ve got a family to take care of.
• The last person who attempted that failed.
• You’ve set the bar so high, how do you intend to reach it?

Now here’s a list of the unseen (names only)

• Nelson Mandela
• Thomas Edison
• Mother Theresa
• Bono
• Steve Jobs
• Saint Paul
• Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Oprah Winfrey
• Billy Graham
• YOUR NAME GOES HERE

We don't like to talk about insecurities.  Let's face it, insecurities are the proverbial skeletons in the closet or baggage we've carried around for years.  So why don't we talk about and deal with our insecurities?  Vulnerability.  With all our talk about compassion, tolerance and love you'd think insecurities would be out in the open.  But here's the dirty little secret; compassion, tolerance and love are rare.  Not because we don't have it to give, but because we're preoccupied with our own pursuits, our own agendas or our own insecurities.  For example, loving someone implies sacrifice.  Don't hear a lot about sacrifice these days.

So can leaders just keep their insecurities under the covers?  They can, but eventually insecurities have a way of getting out of bed.  When that happens people get hurt.  People at work, as well as people at home.  The better option is to overcome the insecurities and live out something that others will want to follow.

Here are some things I've learned and implemented to overcome insecurities:

• Admit that I've got the baggage (insecurities).  Don't mean to sound like a step program, but admitting is a powerful tool.
• Stop looking for some permanent state of happiness and focus on joy.  Pursuing happiness is futile, because in itself happiness is a temporary state.  For example, last week I wasn't happy about the lack of response I was receiving from a newspaper.  This week I'm OK, because I had time to pray and think.  Joy is your root system if you choose to let it be.  It's firm and many times immovable.
• Get mentors that love you, but are not impressed by you.  People like this will be willing to tell you the truth and ask you hard questions.  If you don't have a mentor now, you should start looking for one.
• Don't think you're alone and don't be alone in dealing with insecurities.  Isolation will kill.  Think of how the Hyena approaches attacking a lion.  Hyenas search for ways to isolate the lion.  They instinctively know that to take on a lion one-on-one or in a group would be certain death.  However, if they can isolate the lion, victory is often times certain.  So it goes with us.  If you crawl into your own corner and withdraw.  All your demons and monsters will devour you.
• Don't take yourself too seriously. 
• Find the vision inside yourself and pursue it.  I've found that I have little time to ponder/obsess over insecurities when I have a vision.  My urgency for dealing with my insecurities grows as well, because I don't want to be disrupted in my mission.
• Talk often with God.

What would your organization look like if you overcame your insecurities?  Great, would be the perfect adjective.

Today is the second in a week-long series on leadership.  We’ll be examining some not so obvious issues facing leaders.

Think of yourself as a manager who has been called on to give a "state of the department" presentation to your group.  Maybe the group numbers at 50 or 10.  Regardless, you know you have to prepare.  And maybe that’s the problem.  Really.

I know you need to make sure you’ve got last quarters numbers or a concise view of where the market is heading.  But I want you to think about the following things that are infinitely more important:

• Do you really know your people?  Their your audience, so you don’t want to be looking into the eyes of strangers.  It is essential that you know the pulse of the room.
• Are you overly concerned about getting right?  You know what I mean.  Are you too concerned about the flow of the Power Point?  Are you thinking about the suit you’re going to wear more than once?
• Do you know who the most important people are in your organization?  If you think it would be the CEO or COO, you would be wrong.  The most important people usually make a fraction of what a C-level executive does and don’t have a title that’s a mile long.
• Do you really care or is this just another show?  Motivations reveal truth and measure how authentic you are.
• Can you tell your people about a better future.  In other words, VISION.

In the end, preparation is important.  But if you’re not prepared in the right areas, you’ll be getting it wrong, while trying to get it right.  I’ve found this to be true over and over again in my calling. 

If you’re doing what you were born to do, all those details (Power Point, suit fabric, market conditions or how articulate you are) will come together.  The question is whether you will let it.

The title of this post is not intended to depress you.  The title of this post is to prepare you, so you can know how to navigate the inevitable.  Time to put up a road block to "denial."

If you recognize yourself as a leader (someone who has influence-great or small), then times of loneliness are familiar to you.  You know what I mean.  Remember when you spoke out in defense of a colleague, but no one joined you?  How about when you embraced an idea that took longer to become a reality than many had patience for?  If you're trying to get your arms around the idea, then I hope what I'm writing will inform and inspire. 

A lonely road can be defined in the following ways:

• A place where you are taking a path less traveled.
• A place where you are facing fierce opposition.
• A place where you know you're right.
• A place like the Rubicon.
• A place of deep questioning.

For those of you who lead in corporate America I feel a special connection.  Please keep in-mind that leading is simply influencing.  Leading is not exclusive to a title or job description.  My loneliest times can be found during that period of my life spent inside of corporate America.  Oh my, did I learn though!  I learned what crucibles were all about.  Ever been in a meeting where your authentic voice was ignored?  I say authentic, because counter-genuine leadership is so prevalent today.  Ever tried to tell your manager that customers are growing tired of the delays?  But your manager turns it back on you and implies you're not a team player.

Most mile markers on these roads are truly opportunities to grow.  Even though you may feel strange because of your circumstances.  Call it what you will, but you must go through in-order to grow into the leader you were meant to be. 

So how do we navigate through the lonely roads?  Here are some practical suggestions:

• Recognize that lonely roads are places of discovery.  The happy/success roads rarely teach you and grow you.
• Lonely roads will help you know who is for you.  True friends stay with you on lonely roads.  Sycophants, posers and fair-weather friends won't go with you on lonely roads.  You need to know who you can count on.
• This might be pre-navigation, but don't think that lonely roads are for others.
• Your greatest crucible will be the object of your greatness communication.
• Find and stay close to trusted advisors/mentors.
• Focus on your vision.  Without a vision, lonely roads will convince you to give up.
• Remove the incongruent values from your life.
• Remember, expression deepens impression, so keep talking about your dreams.  You are the dream and the dream is you.
• Find those you can help and do so.  There is healing in helping others as they navigate a lonely road.
• Start writing (a blog, a journal, a diary).  You don't want to leave your head full of your anger, your doubts, your fears.  The blank page is your friend.