Category: Coaching

Defining A Blue Sky Experience

 March 28 2011 002

How do you define a blue sky experience? Is it some place over yonder? Is it a person? I see it as a moment. Just one moment.

Even in a business like mine where you work hard to get people engaged, I always take a step back and consider those who claim they have no time, shrink back in fear or laugh off the thought of what a blue sky experience might mean.  I guess you can't escape all of the things that get in the way of blue skies.

Since we began our partnership with Take Time for Your Life, it has become very clear about what's at stake.  Think of the premise of the words "take time for your life."  The urgency is great here, we actually are in the business of helping people put their life first.  Not their career, not a degree, but their life.  A life that includes career, education and more.

So the blue sky experience requires you to put your life first.  It requires you to understand that you only have so many times to see it feel it, embrace it.  It requires you to understand that the blue sky experience was given to you as a gift of sorts.  A wonderful gift.

I am an experiential writer and guide, so you need to know that I'm not just poking around here.  The picture in this post was taken in a moment today.  A moment I almost passed up because I thought I had so much work to finish, and I did.  But I turned around.  About an hour after I took the shot, I had to remind my mom that theattorney needed my dad's death certificate to finish her estate plans.  Admittedly, my blues increased substantially.

Enjoy your blue skies when you see them.  

Sometimes It’s Better To Be A Role Player

I've been thinking a lot recently about role players. When you think about it, these folks are very crucial to any REAL team. You know what I mean, a group of people who know the goals are bigger than the individual desires of each team member. Well, I digress, the role players are crucial. Most significant victories would never happen without them.

There is a certain implication that comes with being a role player, namely you must be willing to be in the background or behind the scenes. Humility is the implied character trait here. This is difficult. Our culture (business, media, church, and maybe even family) doesn't laud humility. So it can lead you to wonder where's the spotlight on your achievements. Maybe you don't need the limelight. Maybe the limelight is overrated.

You need to evaluate hard what the coaching staff looks like in your organization. If it's weak, then time to reconsider. Effective organizations know the importance and live out the importance of strong coaching. They know that the best coaches know how to get the best out of each player. The best coaches take the time to understand each individual and then find the place where they can excel. Again, the application applies to multiple places in life. So whether you're a reserve guard for a team in the Sweet Sixteen or a business analyst in a Fortune 500 firm, you've got to have a coach that knows you and you have to have the humility accept not a lot of lime light if your best suited to be a role player.

We all need to find that place where we're satisfied with our role. Even if it's the role of a role player.

Do You Know What Your Work Is?

Worker bees 
Do you know what your work is?  Most people could rattle off a list of things related to their career.  For example, a title, an employer's name, annual sales, deferred compensation, etc.  But those things are abstract compared to what your work is.  If you want a starting point in finding an answer, then the following question must be asked:

If you lost everything related to your career and I asked you to help my mission/movement, what could you offer?

Now notice, I didn't ask about your credentials, your experience, your references or what companies you worked for before.  I focused my question on you.  You!  That's where the answers begin to come into focus.  I know that may make you uncomfortable for a host of reasons.

Some people got their work from their parents, from their religion, from peer pressure, and it's all wrong.  Some people followed a path they couldn't fully see unfolding and stayed on it, and it's all right.  Regardless of which one represents you, the game is not over.  Unless you've fully surrendered and choose to look the other way.  What matters most is where you're going, not where you've been.  There's no greater a story than the person who says and lives out. "I need to make a change."

The following outlines some ways to get to that place of a fully-defined work:

  • Compile a list of what makes you come alive, makes you satisfied even when it exhausts you, makes you want to talk about it.  There could be other examples, but just start compiling.
  • Stop the negative self-talk.  You've made some mistakes, I've made some mistakes, everybody has.
  • Be vulnerable.  This opens the door to courage.  It will help you when you have to tell the world you need to make a change.
  • Before you rush into making a change ask yourself if your current setting is suited for your work.  Your current business, employer, etc., may be a great fit.  The main thing is to define what your work is.
  • If a change in career, for example, is necessary, then start small and build to the big.  Most people run out of gas because they go to fast and too far at once.  Patience is a virtue.

Managing Your Life Can Lead To Unexpected Breakthroughs

March 2011 007 

In our lives it can be easy to have unrealistic expectations for results.  Especially, if we're coming out of something we hated or something that was a bad habit.  I know this from my own experiences.

Think of the negotiations you have with yourself.  For example, "I need to get to work, so the workout will have to wait today.  Besides, I'm under a lot of pressure to hit my numbers this quarter."  If you repeat this scenrio often enough you can convince yourself that tomorrow never comes.  I did.  It has taken me a long time to respect my life as the most important thing.  When you do this you realize that all facets of your life warrant your attention and care.

The point of my post today is what happened to me on an impromptu day-trip with my wife.  We decided to have lunch at a great inn and go hiking afterwards.  The weather was great, as evidenced by the picture in my post, and we were expecting a wonderful time together.

The owner of the inn, Ellen, who we've know for some time, visited with us.  I had a chance to tell her about our new experience, Take Time for Your Life.  We connected immediately, my wife said some wonderful things about me and I'm confident we'll be able to help Ellen and her followers in a meaningful way.

My wife and I proceeded to take our hike after lunch and talked.  Some about the beauty of the surroundings, some about the business opportunity with Ellen and some laughter.  The hike got our heart rates up and we enjoyed each other's company.

So what does this have to do with managing your life?

The wheel of life below illustrates 8 areas of life.  Which of them did I manage today?

Wheel of Life 

 

What A Florist Taught Me About Life and Work

Spring_Crocus 

I've taught people about the idea of "doing" what makes you come alive many times in my work.  You've either witnessed it in other people or discovered it within yourself.  Regardless, it's priceless and leaves a mark on you.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a florist in my city to buy my wife flowers.  I went to this small business because a couple of friends had just purchased it and I wanted to give them my business.

When I walked in I greeted Amy and congratulated her on the purchase and asked her how things were going.  She talked about the various marketing ideas she had, the changes to the look and feel of the store that were to come and how crazy things were going into the Valentines Day holiday.  But there was one thing she said that left a big mark on me.  The following are her words:

    "When I'm in the back working on arrangements, that's my place, that's my time to be."

Here's what I learned, and am still learning, from her words:

  1. Knowing who you are versus who you are not makes a big difference.
  2. Epic Living is defined by the individual and looks different for each person.
  3. Our Life is screaming out to us to pay attention.
  4. You have to have the vision, the willingness to act and the patience to experience your dreams.
  5. Entrepreneurism is a road filled with opportunity and risk.
  6. Doing a work that requires you to show up is essential.
  7. It's very important to listen to the stories of others.

I'm sure there's more I could add to the list, but we all can utter the words Amy did if we truly are willing to go on the journey.  It's my life's work to help you.

Some Thoughts On Improv In Business

In my early days of musicianship (I'm still a musician) I really become fond of improvisation.  There was something magnetic about creating without a "script."  Not to mention, when you had to make a change because the performance demanded it. 

This post came to me from Rose over at BSchool.com.  It's an extensive list of why improv matters in your business life.  I think it's also applicable to your personal life too. 

What A Leader Should Focus On

If I had one piece of advice to give a new manager/leader in a corporate environment, it would be the following:

    Pour your heart, skills and strengths into followers who have the greatest potential to follow even after your title is nothing but a memory.

If you do the above, you will be an authentic leader who has authentic followers-for the rest of your days.

Quite powerful.

What Others May Not See

Rainbow 

What if you're the guy or gal who has decided to embrace change, even if you're not sure what that change may bring?  I applaud you if you are.  It's healthy and the life you want is paved with your willingness to move forward.

How about those that decide not to go with you?  Not a huge deal when it's the co-worker who likes to gossip or the brother-in-law that seems to think he has the best plan for your life.  But when it's someone you love or someone you call a friend it can stop you in your steps.  You might even think about going back to Egypt.  A place you think, even if it was miserable, as a safer bet with no resistance.

From my own experience it is never easy to change.  And conversly it is not easy for those that are watching or playing a part in your motion picture-your life.  Your changes may be a source of discomfort, construed as a violation of a committment you supposedly made, or like the fool who believes only the stuff flowing through their head, you refuse to be the person they define you to be.

Here's what I've done so far to manage what others may not see on my journey:

  1. Let go.
  2. Open my eyes up so that I can see new friends (thank you Marc, Ed, Anna, Mike).
  3. Give those who are trying to stick with you a chance(s).  Not everyone moves at the same pace, but they must be moving.
  4. Remember, the world need the person you're becoming.
  5. Don't expect applause, don't think you can change people, and it accept that some relationships were intended for only a season.

 

The Danger Of Professional Arrogance

Cracks_appear 

First, you could change the title of this post to "The Danger of Personal Arrogance" if you so desired.

When you have a enough time in your rear-view mirror you can soberly look at your past.  If you're like me, you have had enough experiences to have a track record/history.  You can see what you missed as well as what went wonderfully when you look back-don't stay there too long though.

I was warned at an early stage in my career to avoid arrogance.  It was a poison many advised.  I did a decent job of heeding their advice.  But like any human being, I took my share of poison pills.  Some people and organizations were hurt by my arrogance.  Some applauded with a knife ready to pierce my back, while others figured I'd find my way back home.  And yes, my arrogance was fueled by my power and success.

Now that I've set the context, I'd like you to consider the following:

  1. This is big!  Arrogance robs you of the opportunities to find the things/people that can  help you figure out some of your problems and mystries.
  2. Arrogance lives on the same street as power and success.  Doesn't mean that power and success are bad, just means you shouldn't invite them all over for a Super Bowl party.
  3. When arrogance starts to grow in you, your learning starts to atrophy/die.  This can be reversed but like most things, the longer you wait the tougher it is to change.
  4. Arrogance assures loneliness.  Even if hundred's of people smile and cater to you, the reality is they really don't care.
  5. The chances of living an Epic Life dwindles significantly.  When arrogance takes hold, you'll find yourself too concerned about your "press" and not your legacy.
  6. Arrogance convinces you that you have to be "better than" in order to be safe and protected.  In short, a lie.