The Cost Of Leaving Vision Behind
"Without a clear vision, odds are you will come to the end of your life and wonder. Wonder what you could have done-what you should have done. And like so many, you may wonder if your life mattered at all."
-Andy Stanley
In the coming weeks we (Epic Living) will be introducing a program that will guide you to your better future. In your life, in your business, and in your career.
Don't leave your vision behind.
How To Measure Greatness In A Leader
You never know the leader's true core until the "crushing blow" comes.
The following video from Business Week features a conversation with Jim Collins. He lauds the journey of Steve Jobs. There is much to learn from his observations.
My friend Matthew told me yesterday that it is most important to focus on the "what" and not the "how." It seems to me that people like Steve Jobs get this too.
Learning From Your Mistakes
As I looked at my father's gravesite for the first time today, I couldn't help but think of his ability to just "move on." That's a very valuable tool in life and career.
He had presence, but he always had this sense to know when the game was over. Almost like a coach saying "we're down by twenty and there's only two minutes left…time to accept the loss and prepare for the next one." Knowing that you'd be better for the lesson of losing-no matter how painful.
We live in a time where success (outward wise) and glory matter a lot. Even though there really isn't as much value there as we think. The idea of mistakes/failures do not resonate very well in environments like ours. We'll peek behind the curtain only if no one is looking.
So whether you're responsible for a big project or trying change a behavior at home, you need to allow yourself room for mistakes. For example, when I first started to make running a part of my exercise routine I never considered breathing. I thought my breathing was fine just like always. Wrong! But the mistake (manifested by my lack of energy to finish) drove me to ask questions. Runner's World magazine helped me with the subject of proper breathing and my running got better. See my point?
Here are some ideas to consider, life and career, that will help you learn from your mistakes:
- Maybe the time has come for you to stop being afraid of making a mistake. People who are living to not "screw it up" are heart attacks waiting to happen.
- True love is found in mistakes. It stays even when the crowd disappears. This can be a great way to know who is really for you.
- Mistakes are indicators of your willingness to learn. See Thomas Edison's story for more on this.
- Mistakes are essential in the process of innovation.
- Mistakes will give you a gauge on your risk tolerance. If you're always avoiding mistakes, you won't dare something great. Greatness implies risk.
- Your followers are watching to find out if making a mistake is "OK." Your willingness, or unwillingness, will cast a wide shadow.
- Learning from your mistakes increases the chances of not repeating.
The Idea Of Pain In Life And Career
The following is an article/post that really moved me. It's a story you may know, but the lessons are timeless.
I found a part of myself in Mr. Jackson.
Pain
by Charles R. Swindoll
They called him "Old
Hickory" because of his tenacity and grit. His mother chose "Andrew" on March
15, 1767, when she gave birth to that independent-minded South Carolina rebel.
Wild, quick-tempered, and disinterested in school, Andrew answered the call for
soldiers to resist the British invasion at age thirteen. Shortly thereafter, he
was taken prisoner. Refusing to black an enemy officer's boots, he was struck
with a saber—Andrew's introduction to pain.
Although he bore the
marks of the blow for the rest of his life, Andrew's fiery disposition never
waned. A fighter to the core, he chose to settle arguments in duels and lived
most of his days with two bullets painfully wedged in his body. After he
distinguished himself on the battlefield, his name became a national synonym for
valor and stern persistence. When politics nodded in his direction, "Old
Hickory" accepted the challenge: first the Senate, then nomination for
President. The shadow of pain appeared again in another form as he lost a narrow
race with John Quincy Adams.
Four years later,
however, he ran again . . . and won! But pain accompanied the victory. Two
months before he took office he lost his beloved wife, Rachel. Grief-stricken,
the President-elect pressed on. Even as he was being sworn into office as our
nation's seventh President, he fought the anguish of a raging fever caused by an
abscess in the lung.
Some time later, one
of the bullets within him had to be surgically removed. He endured that
operation—done without anesthetic—in typically courageous fashion. Even his
political career was painful. A nasty scandal split his cabinet, and critics
clawed at him like hungry lions. Although he stood firm for many months, the
telling signs of pain began to manifest themselves. He was one of the few men
who left office, however, more popular than when he came. "For once, the rising
was eclipsed by the setting sun," wrote a contemporary sage. And it was pain,
more than any other single factor, which drew the qualities of greatness out of
Andrew Jackson.
Pain humbles the
proud. It softens the stubborn. It melts the hard. Silently and relentlessly, it
wins battles deep within the lonely soul. The heart alone knows its own sorrow
and not another person can fully share in it. Pain operates alone; it needs no
assistance. It communicates its own message whether to statesman or servant,
preacher or prodigal, mother or child. By staying, it refuses to be ignored. By
hurting, it reduces its victim to profound depths of anguish. And it is at that
anguishing point that the sufferer either submits and learns, developing
maturity and character, or resists and becomes embittered, swamped by self-pity,
smothered by self-will.
I have tried and I
cannot find, either in Scripture or history, a strong-willed individual whom God
used greatly until He allowed him to be hurt deeply.
It was just such a
person who wrote these words for all to read:
Guests
Pain
knocked upon my door and said
That she had come to stay,
And though I
would not welcome her
But bade her go away,
She entered in.
Like my own
shade
She followed after me,
And from her stabbing, stinging sword
No
moment was I free.
And then one day another knocked
Most gently at my
door.
I cried, "No, Pain is living here,
There is not room for
more."
And then I heard His tender voice,
"'Tis I, be not afraid."
And
from the day He entered in,
The difference it made!—Martha Snell
Nicholson
Excerpted from Come Before Winter and Share My Hope, Copyright ©
1985, 1994 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by
permission.
On The Brink
Sometimes disappointing news comes in doses we would rather not take. I have stopped trying to figure out how to reduce/eliminate the issue. I'm continuing to learn the art of response.
As I continue to process my father's passing from 3 months ago, I have received more disappointing news than I thought I would this year. Virtually all of the compartments of life have been touched. The significance doesn't lie in the juicy details or whether I deserve to receive the news. It comes down to the learning and the authenticity that flows afterward. I strive to be someone who's journey is worth following.
I am confident that what unfolds before you will leave, if not lead, you to a better place.
The following post from June of last year seems appropriate for re-visitation:
The above insignia is for the U.S. Navy Seals. I didn't realize how
significant the symbol was until I talked to Erik whose brother is a
Navy Seal.
Erik and I didn't talk much about war or fighting, but we did talk about knowing your limits.
The Seals go through very difficult training in the pursuit of
becoming a Seal. A part of that training is discovering your limits.
My understanding is when a Seal discovers their limits they are better
prepared for the extreme situations inevitable in their job. Some say
enlightenment arrives as well with a discovery of one's limits. I
would agree.
So how about you? Have you discovered, and do you know your limits?
In years past I didn't want to know. I thought knowing my limits
would bring me too close to the "brink." So many times I chose the
expedient and practical The brink is good for you though. I say this,
knowing how painful it can be. No one signs up for it (except maybe
the Navy Seals) and many times we just want a break.
Here are some ideas around discovering and knowing your limits:
- When the storms (business drop-off, health issues, job loss,
relationship troubles) come, stop. You're heading into a time of
discovering your limits. Ironically, the choice is yours as to the staying
and fighting. You could choose an easy route to escape, and many do. - Focus on what is being produced inside of you. This is a
future-forward perspective. In other words, a seed is planted, but you
don't see the fruit for some time to come. You have to believe. - Prepare for people to desert you. It's not personal, but it is
true. Limits are markers for what many people see as dangerous,
frightening or pure madness. When you find someone willing to stick
with you during your discovery and knowing, you've found someone you
can count on. - Don't get bitter or resentful over anything.
- Don't be too hard on yourself when the mistakes are made. Mistakes are a part of the process.
The Navy Seals are an elite group of people. They've set a good
example of what we all should be willing to do in our career,
relationships, health and dreams.
Discover and know your limits.
The Different Colors Of Leading People
Leading people is very much like the mosaic above. The closer you get the more intricate the scene becomes-but beautiful. Sadly, this idea is not taught or embraced often in the halls of management and leadership. Why? It's tough and leadership implies this reality.
We, as a culture, will continue to fail at leading as long as we expect people to be one or two shades only. Expecting this implies that leadership should be easy. You can complain about a lack of cooperation amongst your team or not enough time to engage in the moment with a customer. But in the end, leading is a complex matter.
The complex matter is made simple with love. So that you're left with a simple, but hard road to travel on. This is good.
I wrote earlier in the week about authenticity. It's more important than ever today. The climate makes this so. Testing your level of authenticity is vital in the impact you're having on customers, employees, family, and the world. For example, if you treat your employees like crap, but in the next engagement you tell the customer how important they are. You're nothing but a fake. And by the way, your customers will figure this out-sooner than later.
So how about the leading part? Do you really want to lead people? Do you want to engage and connect with a multicolored mosaic? It's okay if you don't, just get out of the way and chart a new path.
The world is waiting for honest answers here.
The Art Of Speaking And Listening
I got the following quote today and wanted to share:
Most of us were born
hearing well, but all of us must learn to listen well. Listening is a
skill, an art that is in need of being cultivated.
Dr. Ralph Nichols,
considered by many to be an authority on the subject, believes that we think
four, perhaps five, times faster than we talk. This means that if a speaker
utters one hundred twenty words a minute, the audience thinks at about five
hundred words a minute. That difference offers a strong temptation to listeners
to take mental excursions . . . to think about last night's bridge game or
tomorrow's sales report or the need to get that engine tune-up before next
weekend's trip to the mountains . . . then phase back into the speaker's
talk.
Research at the
University of Minnesota reveals that in listening to a ten-minute talk, hearers
operate at only a twenty-eight percent efficiency. And the longer the talk, the
less we understand, the less we track with our ears what somebody's mouth is
saying.
–Chuck Swindoll
I often wonder if communicators (including myself) are cognizant of where the hearers are. In my own journey to becoming a great communicator I have learned that the speaking and the listening are both essential in connecting with others-in career and personal life.
By the way, if you want to test your speaking and listening skills, go spend some time with children and test your results.
The 90/10 Leadership Development Principle-Again
I wrote the following post some time ago, but I think it bears re-posting today:
So many principles, so little time:). Seriously, I want to tackle
the 90/10 principle (10% is the unexpected good or bad, 90% is what you
choose) in relation to our life and career.
For many years I was told by mentors and colleagues that the 90/10
rule was important. In the early years, I didn't want to have the
responsibility for 90% of my life. It seemed so permanent to face the
consequences of my choices. And I certainly didn't like the idea of
the 10%. Who wants to be at the mercy of the unexpected?
It was about 10 years ago that I really became conscious of the
principle. So much so that it now is a part of my culture. I use the
term conscious because unconscious living leads to incongruent values
(I say exercise is important, but I never do it) or plain old
hypocrisy. No judgment here, but you need to be awake.
Here's why you need to embrace the 90/10 rule:
- You must embrace, because the 90/10 rule embraces you. Like it or not.
- When you embrace, your leadership quality goes way up. All of sudden you think before you act.
- You must tame the beast inside. Call it misplaced ambition,
preoccupation with the opinions of others or greed. When you realize
that 90% of life is what you choose, you'll think twice about walking
all over your co-workers. - You'll begin to think about your foundation. Is it sand or stone? When the unexpected comes what will keep you anchored?
- Embracing the rule will simplify things. It won't make life easy,
but it will make you decide what's most important in career and life. - You'll make the breakthrough to realizing that no one/organization
can make you happy. Happiness is a choice (there's that 90% again) and
only you can make this one. - You'll stop being afraid of your destiny and get on with the mission.
- The Oscar for best motion picture should be your life.
Don't awaken to an accidental career or life.
The Lens Of Style Points
You may be involved in leadership team development or a new staff member just trying to navigate the "matrix" that sometimes is career. Regardless of what your role is, you need to be very careful with "style points." In this post I'll confine that to the following definition:
"Evaluating an individual's approach and/or presentation in order to judge that person's worth."
My friend Marc told me once that leaders need to develop a strategy to bring clarity to their intention. In other words, don't let your intention be run over by your "style." I see this as important. I'm a visionary thinker, so consequently, if I were in a meeting on budgets I could appear bored. It's not that I see no importance in the "numbers," I just have a limited attention span for that kind of information. Over the years I've implemented specific strategies to combat my bored demeanor. Coffee would be a great example here.
So what do you do with the idea of judging people based on their style?
Even if I master my delivery and presentation, I can't always walk away clean. I can continue to work on getting better, but as many thought leaders know, your weaknesses can only move up a notch or two when it comes to growth.
Our best opportunity is in not weighting our decision too heavily on style. This is especially important in team (a group of peope who see the goal as more important than their own individual agendas) environments and loving relationships at home. If you're not careful, you can begin to see people through a very critical lens. I know that Malcolm Gladwell and others embrace an idea that the first impression is everything. It has a place, but to use it as the sole criteria would be naive. Besides, if first impressions were truly everything, I never would have married my wife. She laughed at me when I introduced myself to her over twenty years ago.
Just remember that the shy team member or over-confident sales rep. may have an intention worth looking for beyond the veneer.