Category: Coaching

Embracing The Upside and Downside

In our pursuits (career, money, family, relationships) we find it easy to embrace the upside.  Let's face it; everybody's looking for a win.

Focusing on the upside is a good trait to have.  Probably means you're an optimist.  The world can use more of those, so all-in-all its good.

The question remains for us all: do we spend enough time embracing the downside?  Not to extremes or morbidity, just a firm, calm consideration.  Maybe it'll prepare (as much as anyone can prepare) you for the tough times.  Maybe it'll make you more humble, realizing that the downside is not a question of if, but when.

You'll be better for what feels like it kills.

I offer the following on embracing the upside and downside:

  • The downside is a long-term fertilizer for the upside.  Please note the long-term part of this advice.
  • Slowdown to see the upside.  Way too many leaders are "task" and "do."  You don't want to wake up one day wondering what happened.  You'll have be deliberate here, so make an appointment with yourself to stop and look around.
  • The downside can be scary.  Facing it is the only right approach.
  • The only way to eliminate risk is to stop.  Stop loving, stop learning, stop serving, just be a spectator.
  • You won't find your strength in prime-time.  It's found in places and people who you never expected to find connection with.  Prime-time people are only there for the party.  Stop the party, and they stop the caring. 

How We Were Meant To Respond In A Changing World

It's obvious that the world has changed.  Some say for the better, some say for the worse.  I think the truth is found somewhere in the middle.

Regardless of your opinion, I want to address the human response we were designed to have in the midst of change-especially the crushing variety.

When my father passed away some weeks ago, I entered into a place of deep pain.  To say he left a void would be an understatement.  But what is striking is the advice a friend and adviser gave me.  He told me to expect, potentially, a two-year journey through grieving.  I immediately thought: "I don't have two years to give."  My mind, body and soul said: "yes you do."  You see the dichotomy between my "poser" self and the real Eric Pennington?

I am no longer able to deny the real Eric Pennington, so I am preparing for whatever may come.  This hasn't set well with some because of their need for me to be ok.  I understand this and I am learning to navigate these waters with grace.  It hurts.

So what do you do when the changes (career, love, death, other life events) come?  Do you resort to old tricks?  Do you convince yourself that you just haven't found the right marketing (yes, we apply marketing to our personal lives)?

Here are some observations that I have found appropriate in moving through a changing world:

  • Some things are meant to end.  Letting go not only sets a pace for coping, but it allows the new to enter.  I don't miss corporate America because I found my life when I lost that way of existing.  The pain of that was excruciating and liberating all at the same time.
  • Our lives are a story played in the midst of a backdrop called eternity.  A heaven-created story on display for all to see.  Keep in-mind here that no great movie or book is predictable.  So if you have a great life, it will look different than you imagined-better I might add.
  • We must come to terms with our fears.  Yours could be different than mine, but we were designed to confront them.  Not doing this will leave you crippled and half-alive.  Don't by into the dogma of "I'm ok, your ok."  Assigning blame to a circumstance or another person is a recipe for regret.
  • Believing in a vision and it's eventual matching up with life is essential.  For example, I have a vision of a day when the thought of my father will not illicit heartbreak.  Life does not meet up to that now, but it will.  Use this in any change path and you will inject a hope of great depth.
  • Knowing yourself through a deliberate inventory of your tendencies will make sense of your journey.  I haven't always done this well.  I've spent days asking why I have recurring challenges of a certain variety.  I have discovered that these challenges were my tendencies.  For example, virtually all my life I have been underestimated.  Many doubters, many scoffers and critics alike would bring resistance.  When I recognized that underestimation was a tremendous tool, I experience much success and breakthrough.  Know your tendencies.

A Stimulus Package That Will Work

Stimulus photo 2

Since there is so much discussion about the stimulus package here in the USA, I thought I would offer my own stimulus package consideration.  No votes required, but comments are always welcome.

Before I unveil my package, please remember I'm introducing change.  Change implies pain and a gap between the spoken desire and the behavior change.  The list below has been proven to work-at least in my life:

  1. Get healthy by changing your diet and starting an exercise routine.  You'll save money on your grocery bill and you might add years to your life.
  2. Love deeply everyday.  It will affect the quality of your life and those around you.
  3. Cut back on your consumption of media that is negative.  I write cut back because I don't recommend burying your head in the sand.  Get your information and move on.  Don't romance gloom and doom.
  4. Stop worshiping at the alter of money and career success.  Money and careers were designed to be tools for a great life.  Value a great life and the rest will follow.
  5. Stop embracing fear.  If I asked you to buy a story based on False Evidence Appearing Real, would you pay?
  6. Get a mentor and a coach to see you through this package.  You were not designed to go it alone.
  7. Return to God.  He designed you in a way that produces beauty and happiness.  It seems to me he'd be good at giving you a path toward a great life.

I Have Learned…

I have learned…

  • When you give love, it's permanent.
  • The process is infinitely more important than the outcome.
  • Fairness will be addressed on the other side of eternity.
  • Life without risk is impossible, a risk-free life is death disguised as living.
  • When your race is finished, the mirror will provide 90% of the answers to the why questions.
  • Your heart will determine the size of your shadow.
  • No one remembers a manager.
  • The best leaders avoid embracing the "manual."
  • Every human needs a great quest, just like air.
  • Pain shapes a heart like nothing else.
  • Time goes by quickly, better value it more than gold.

Everybody’s Self-Employed

As I caught today's announcement of December job numbers, I began to think about how serious things are.  Mind you, I didn't just start thinking about the seriousness.  But I thought about it differently today.

We are self-employed…whether we know it or not.

The fairy tale of retirement, security and prosperity has truly been the poison pill.  What's tragic is the pill was given to us slowly (intravenous like) over time.  Makes you wonder how careerists will find a new life.  A new life that looks different from the one they know today.  Your employer is moving on even if your office chair is still warm. 

Shouldn't you do the same?

I see things as permanently changed.  What looked stable yesterday has now been disrupted.  I'll save you the analysis of what I consider to be the catalysts/disrupter's (mind-numbing government debt, the over supply of money, leadership voids, fear) of what we've come to know.  I used to think life would be better is it were predictable.  I even, in a past life, tried to manipulate circumstances to try and block the threats (change).  The reality is we're better for a life that sometimes gives us smelling salts.

So how do you if you're a self-employed careerist?  Consider the following:

  • When you get to the end of your story, who will stand beside you and give a detailed report?  I have the answer; not your company, just you.
  • On the whole, who is paying/paid for all of that schooling you took?
  • Your employer requires some type of at-will agreement/contract.
  • Your share of health insurance premiums has grown significantly over the last 20 years.  This trend will continue, or your employer will get out of providing this benefit all together.
  • You carry a lot of risk working for your company.  This applies whether unemployment is 5 or 7%.

I could go on, and maybe you have some other ideas as well.  But one of the biggest reasons we're all self-employed is the implication of ownership.  You should be the owner of your career because you already are.

Don’t Institutionalize Everything

The cause of many of the ills your organization may be facing are rooted in the process of institutionalizing.  This is a process of making rules, creating procedures and locking down the process.  In some cases, institutionalizing is smart business (profit or non-profit).  For example, the idea of no hand guns permitted or firing an employee for falsifying documents would be something to institutionalize.

Unfortunately, it seems we've swung the pendulum way too far.  I would even argue we've done this in our relationships.  Think about your marriage, your business partner(s), your church, the homeless guy you pass on the way to the office. 

Let me unwrap this a little further.  In certain arenas of our culture homelessness and poverty is looked at as inevitable (this idea is part of the institutionalized mindset).  When you view people (magnificent art designed by a wonderful God) as "inevitable" you will easily look the other way.  But what if you looked at people as magnificent artwork?  Kind of hard to look past a Michaelangelo, no?  And yes, some people are bad/evil and will never change.  That's ok (not really), everyone makes their own choices.  My gut tells me that many just want to be seen as valuable and worth a fight.

The above describes how you can take an institutionalized view and change it to a liberated/fluid view.

Here is a list of some things organizations and people should not institutionalize:

  • People (see my thoughts above).
  • Policies and procedures.  Far too often this is a place of insanity in many organizations.  Creating these are often practices in fear management.
  • New ventures.  Don't think that what is new will look like what is old.  Be willing to be fluid.
  • Business relationships.  We've got to stop networking as a part of our business plan (another form of institutionalizing).  Network because you believe in sharing, giving and changing the world.  If the idea is great you won't feel compelled to take.
  • Marriage.  Fall in love and keep falling.

Don’t Give Up

Stormy Weather

Considering the level of concern on faces I've seen and the hearts and minds connected, I thought I would give you a link to a post I wrote some time ago titled "What Happen When I Was Told to Leave."  It deals with my personal journey after being asked to leave my last corporate America job.

My life is so different and better since that wounding (being told to leave).  I can only hope it encourages you (if it fits) to not give up.  I also hope it will encourage you that every story has tense moments and disappointments, but those are designed to help you to see the possibilities of a new life/career/calling.

Obviously, this is easier to write than to live.  But I can tell you that the above post is stamped with integrity (whole not part).  Know that you're not alone.

I Want My Leadership Development-Now

In times of crisis (economic or otherwise) organizations begin to think about leadership.  Actually, they think of it often.  What they do about it is another thing.

I feel for those organizations that neglected growing leaders when profits were up.  That would have been the best time to change the world.  But alas, those were the "best laid plans." 

If you run an organization that has never given much thought to leader development, then I would advise you to prepare for a great deal of pain (it is worth it).  The pain process goes like this:

  • The process of announcing an initiative that many will not believe or take seriously.  Shucks, you've rolled out initiatives as frequently as you lose employees.
  • After the above, you've got to lead your people thru the treacherous waters of change (the present state to the desired state).
  • If you make it past change, you've got to now make it a part of the organization's DNA.

This is not an easy endeavor.  I think you can understand why these organizations mostly hang themselves on leadership development as a talking point.  You know what I mean; it feels better when you say leadership development versus living it.

I don't mean to sound Grinchy, but best not to sugar coat.  It's sort of like a 62 year-old worker who started planning for retirement 5 years ago.  Is it too late?  No, but it will hurt.

I may be all wet about where we're at, so find out for yourself.  Ask this tough question:

What are we/you specifically doing to grow your leadership?

The answer to that question will reveal a lot.

The Two Paths to Great Leadership

 Two roads           

Had a great conversation with Marc yesterday.  We spoke a lot about future plans with our two companies, but it was his brief statement below that made me pause:

    "You have two paths you can go on in this environment.  One says this sucks, and the other says I see an opportunity."

Those words cconfirmed mmuch in my heart. 

Even when things have been bad, I have gravitated toward optimism.  No applause needed here.  Many (family, friends, and associates) have come to count on me for looking up.  This hasn't always been easy.

Even in the times where I wondered if Epic Living would make it, I wrote from the perspective of optimism.  Why?  You don't need another source/media that communicates how bad things are-in my life or the world as a whole.  Believe me, this is not lofty fee-good babble.  It hurts me when people fall into the quick sandd of pessimism.

I know that many are experiencing difficult times right now.  But could these hard times be the preparation ground for your greatest opportunity?  I fear that many could miss it because of that quick sand I mentioned.  Pure gold can't come about without some intense heat.

The real battle is in our heads.

 

Leadership Development and Your Authentic Wiring

There is a lot of emphasis in leader development on knowing who you are.  In other words, how you're authentically wired.  This is a good thing.

Analyzing a leader's wiring is effective in making sure the leader finds the work best suited for their strengths.  It helps organizations as they determine right fits for their structure.  I can't think of a more liberating place to be than to see oneself doing what makes the heart come alive.

There are some downsides though. 

As it is with a country who has lived under dictatorial rule for decades, so it is with leaders who've been squelched in their attempts to be authentic.  But sometimes liberation can lead to license, or worse, addiction to self-empowerment.  Almost like the liberators deciding that being a dictator is not so bad now that power is in hand.

The practical danger for leaders who discover they're authentic wiring comes when they believe the organization/team must submit to their way of seeing the world.  For example, I'm the type of leader who needs to connect emotionally, before any type of transaction can occur.  This is important to me.  However, I can't expect that a client or partner will give me this every time we meet.  I don't have to deny or give up my value (emotional connection), but I do have to practice the art of give and take.  If I never receive the emotional connection, then certainly I'm in the wrong place/organization. 

Here are some tips on how to prevent your wiring from overrunning your path to becoming a quality leader:

  1. Make sure you're organization is a fit with your wiring.  This is not about placing judgment on the quality or health of your organization.  It's about what is the right fit for who you really are.
  2. If you've just discovered your authentic wiring, don't begin to believe that the sun, moon and stars now revolve around you.
  3. Learn to be a better communicator.  You'll need this as you start to live out what was given within.
  4. As Stephen Covey has said; "seek first to understand, then to be understood."
  5. Focus on the needs of your followers, before your own.  Leaders who do this build trust and loyalty.