Category: Coaching

Doing What You Love

The title of this post is near and dear to my heart.  I know that's not a surprise for many of you.

It's funny how things come full circle in life.  This piece from Marshall Goldsmith's blog is from an article he wrote for Fast Company a few years ago.  When I first read the piece, I was evaluating hard my future and whether what I was doing was a love affair.  I am pleased that I can bring it to you now. 

Marshall's words added much clarity to my journey.  I will be forever grateful.

Loving and Falling in Love

First, I'm not turning into a romance novelist.  But I am going to correlate romantic love with our work (the thing that is connected to our wiring).

I think a big problem with marriage and long-term relationships is the misconceived notion of what falling in love means.  There is a reason they call it "falling."  Falling implies a never-ending experience.  Unfortunately, we find ways to stop falling and then everything changes-for the worse. For example, I know people in relationships where they love each other.  But they're not in love anymore.  No pursuing, no ache, no shakes, and certainly no flowers.  They're together, but dead.

Does this sound like your work relationship?

Some out there may be thinking about refuting the above.  You might be thinking about how the warm and fuzzy does not last a lifetime.  You might be thinking that I don't know all the hurtful things he said.

I'm not writing this to make you feel bad about love gone wrong or shame you about a divorce.  All I'm saying is that to sustain "falling in love" you must make a decision and manage it accordingly.  Sometimes it will be effortless and sometimes it will feel like its killing you.  But either way you have a decision to make. 

So make it.

Here are some tips on staying "in love" with your work:

  • Stop and ask yourself why you're spending 50+ hours doing what you do.  Scot Herrick has a great post on how career management is about your dream.
  • Stop thinking that your work will make you happy.  If you're expecting it to make you happy, you'll quit when failure comes.
  • Start thinking like an entrepreneur and not an employee.  You need to see the true value of what you do, and entrepreneurss understand this.
  • Stop hanging with the pessimists.  These are the people that are always talking about the impending doom on the horizon.
  • Staying "in love" leads to a great life.
  • Do something different today.  Surprise your work with a new approach.
  • Stay a learner.  Learning won't let you fall out of love.

Good News vs. Bad News

Do managers have a problem with hearing bad news?  I know you're chuckling right now. But they really should welcome bad news with open arms. 

Bad news can do the following if we let it:

  • Sober us up and give us a sense of reality – We crave and worship good news because we see it as the only thing to make us happy.  If you've read my blog before, you know how I feel about happiness-it's based on a choice that only you can make.
  • Help us understand who is really interested in making things better – those who like to kiss ass won't be comfortable here.  People who only deliver good news are not helping.  Leaders who only want followers who deliver good news are drinking a poisonous cocktail.
  • Help us discover our true leadership level – if you want to know how good a leader is, observe and take notes when bad news is delivered.
  • Makes us question silence – a friend of mine gave his employer some bad news about a new customer and was cautioned about it.  Don't know if they didn't like his tone or timing, but his employer didn't want to hear it.  It made me think about all those employees that don't say anything.  What do you think their level of engagement is?
  • Helps us find the next breakthrough – isn't that what all organizations want?

Watch Out for the Blocks

Spoke last week to a group about blocks to their spiritual journey.  It made some uncomfortable, and that was a good thing.  Discomfort can cause one to think harder about things that comfort allows you to ignore.

Have you thought about your blocks, specifically those in your career? 

I don't recommend focusing too much attention on blocks, but managing and eliminating, so you're best can come thru, is the wisest approach.  Blocks are there to be dealt with.  I'm amazed at how often they're allowed to take on roots in our career garden.

Here are some "blocks" that can be very detrimental as you navigate your career:

  1. Insecurities – these are dangerous because we often agree with them in our minds and hearts.
  2. Comfort- it creates a false sense of security.
  3. Intolerance – specifically, of new ideas, new people or new markets.
  4. Inward focus – cripples your desire to network and to learn from the outside world.
  5. Lust – a maddening desire for whatever causes an itch.  Think power and promotion here.
  6. Career – too much on this one and you'll forget that life is more important.
  7. Lack of vision – lack of vision is a block to seeing a great future.
  8. Apathy – an mindset rooted in; "I've heard it all before."  If you have a pulse you haven't heard it all before.

How to Trust a Leader

There is more than one way to know if you can trust a leader. But one key way is find their crucibles.  If leader isn’t willing to talk about them or can’t seem to remember any, a red flag should go up in your mind.


Teddy Roosevelt had some penetrating thoughts on leaders who seemed to have escaped suffering:


“I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

We Are Fragile

We are fragile.  Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I know some won’t go here with me, but let’s not pretend that it doesn’t apply.  So wherever you are now, give yourself room to be open.


This post came to me after hearing about a tragedy.  One where hope was lost in one person’s heart and mind. 


So, since we’re all leaders, let’s consider the following:

  • Everyone who hears the words of your voice has the potential of catching a virus.  The virus is you.
  • If you think that human beings were designed to endure harsh words, commands, and the like, I would beg you to reconsider or resign.
  • You may be the only person someone believes in.  Therefore, continue to inspire no matter how much it costs you.
  • If your agenda does not allow you to purposely rub off on those who follow you, then throw out the agenda.  You’re in the legacy building business, whether you know it or not.
  • If you’re helping people realize their dreams, don’t stop there, get into reproduction and replication.
  • Don’t forget the forgotten.
  • Leadership implies responsibility, not privilege (thank you Peter Drucker).
  • Your story is worth telling, so don’t keep it to yourself.

Could you bring the light back to people who see only darkness.  I’m not talking about changing people, just showing a brilliant light and letting the chips fall where they may.


My prayers go out to those today who’ve lost hope.

Conspiring Circumstances

Rain  


Talked to my friend Robin this week and we discussed the idea of conspiring circumstances.  You know, the things in life and work that always seem to come up to mess up.  It used to vex me, but it doesn’t any longer.


Some years ago, ironically, when I slaved in , I always saw circumstances as things that would eventually be eradicated (like polio or the black plague).  But my naive leadership ways kept me from understanding the role circumstances play in this motion picture called life.  Thankfully, I got older and wiser.  I began to understand that it would be better to expect conspiring circumstances, than to be shocked by their appearances.


The key is expecting them-really.  I’m not recommending paranoia or always looking over your shoulder.  But I am recommending a retro-view of your life to discover what part circumstances have played in the scenes of life.  Hopefully, you’re the better for the experience.


We’re so obsessed in our culture with being happy, being secure or arriving at some destination.  If you hold onto those desires, you’ll be dismayed and sad when circumstances come on to thwart you.  Listen, I’m not saying that you can’t be happy or secure.  Just remember the seasonal nature of things.

  • It should be a new paradigm where you accept that there will be times of unhappiness (which can actually lead to greater happiness).
  • It should be a new paradigm that says security is best found in risk, not some idea that you can set up controls to make life safe.
  • It should be a new paradigm that says the ride is infinitely more important than the destination.  Focusing exclusively on the destination causes a missed life.

So the next time you get that promotion and the applause is uproarious, stop and remember how circumstances can, and always will, conspire as you make your way through.