Category: Entrepreneur Advice

On Second Acts and Encores

Second act 

A wise friend once told me a long time ago that my life would be made up of multiple lifetimes.  I think I just nodded and went on.

Welcome to the future.

It's very clear that most people look into their personal crystal ball and define what they see accordingly.  The future. In my case I saw one long run on Broadway.  It was uninterrupted by life or the circumstances therein.  No shock here, but things often changed and I became good at navigating.  Sometimes the navigating was done by the stars.

In our time we are a culture of second acts and encores.  Reinvention is the norm.  At first glance for some this brings sadness.  Many were counting on things playing out as one show, one performance.  But reality set in and we were told the curtain was coming down.  We looked over our shoulder and saw someone younger, prettier and certainly cheaper lying in wait.  It was the end.

Or was it?

When our eyes are opened and things are clear we can understand a forgotten truth.  The truth of second acts and encores.  We are continually experiencing them.  And it is a good thing.  Call it the width of life and not just the length.  Those that have decided that security and stability are to be worshiped will not understand this.  I recommend you expect and embrace your second acts and encores.  Savor the opportunity to fashion a wonderful ending or a song concluding the performance.  Just don't linger too long over the empty auditorium.  This will take a little getting used to.

I have had friends, family, money, jobs, business ideas, and more that lasted for only a time.  Some ended sooner than I would have liked, others seemed to drone on and on.  But all were a part of forming the painting that is my life.  It is a strange dichotomy that we crave things that will ultimately hold us back, while rejecting the things that open up doors to our dreams. I fear less and my grip is now a little less firm because I want what's to come to just come and set me forward to the next act.  Is the alternative really a better option?

Here are some things you should consider for the road ahead:

  • Second acts and encores are happening whether you participate or not.  Everyone gets the chance to perform or leave the audience wondering what's wrong.
  • Since the second acts and encores are in motion, why not prepare?  Have a song list, rehearse how you will exit.
  • Don't romanticize your past.  It wasn't as great as you think it was.
  • If you're a rugged individualist, "self-made", a do it on my own type, then stop.  Life was not meant to be a solo journey.
  • Embrace your sadness as you would your happiness.

 

How Management Could Improve Organizational Well-Being

Da Vinci Whole 
As we at Epic Living do more work in the well-being arena, it's important to set the table around the importance of management's role in making well-being a reality.  I won't spend a ton of time explaining the need for managers to understand when to put the leadership hat on.  You can look at this post I wrote a few years ago to get my thoughts on that.  The reality is most managers have abdicated well-being to HR and the company's benefit offerings.  As well-intentioned as that may be, it leaves much to be desired in practical application.

Management is looked to for direction and pace (how fast or slow should we be moving).  That implies a great deal of influence over a number of people.  As I'm sure you're getting by now, management is more than checking off tasks on a list.  One area of huge importance is the well-being of the employees.  For example, how well do your people handle stress?  And how is that stress impacting the customer?

Let me be clear, it's not the responsibility of a manager to make sure their employees are managing stress well or that employees manage their lives well for that matter.  But they can play a part in influencing a balanced approach to well-being.  You may wonder why the manager should care?  It's pretty simple, those that manage their lives well will always outperform those that don't.  So, the manager should be a champion/cheerleader of well-being in their organization.  A true win-win proposition for the organization and the employees.

The following are some recommendations for management around encouraging an environment of well-being:

  1. Do engage with employees in a way that allows them to manage their well-being in their own way.  Management should not dictate and take a "take it or leave it" approach.
  2. Do consider the "whole" life and not just those that allow management to stay in an imaginary comfort zone.
  3. Do learn how to manage people from a perspective of diversity.
  4. Do focus on making your engagement about the employee and not about what you'll get by offering the resource(s).
  5. Do be committed to well-being as a long-term process and not a one-time event.

The Process, Not the Event

The road of life includes processes and events.  Many prefer the events, and that's a problem.  Events are not the enemy, it's the over-attraction to them that creates the pitfall.  But it's understandable why we prefer that moment of elation, since events gives us immediate stimulation that we want and maybe crave.  Nobody talks a lot about processes because it tends to require faith, imagination and vision.  Did I mention that it can feel like drudgery.

One of the my best experiences in the process and event arena has been my marriage.  It began with a big event, the ceremony.  Great joy and happiness.  The future seemed unbelievably bright.  And then she had to face the reality of living with me(humor is important here).  That event was 20 years-plus ago.  We're still happily together because of the process, and not the event.  Ironic how the thing that feels like work produces the happiness we so desperately desire.

Certainly there is no substitute for knowing what you're doing is a fit.  Be it in your career, your money, your learning, etc.  But once that's been settled, you've got to embrace the process. 

  

Seth Godin on Risk and Failure

  

This interview with Seth Godin will encourage you to try and fail. 

Are you in a workplace where taking a risk and failing are frowned upon?  Do you frown upon it yourself?  Why not begin a small experiment today with risk and failure?  It could liberate you.

In the interview Seth gives some good examples of what a small experiment might look like.  The following are my suggestions:

  • Interact with a client in a different way.  Make a surprise visit to their office and engage with the receptionist and no one else.
  • Sign up for a cooking class, even if you see yourself as a lousy cook.
  • Try something that your kids are good at, but you're not.
  • Suggest a unique place for a work retreat.  Like this spot.
  • Introduce yourself to someone you've never met at work, at school or in your neighborhood.

 

Why Going Back Doesn’t Work

Road Back 

I recently posted on our Facebook Fan Page the following question:

Why didn't Neo go back into the Matrix?

If you've seen the Matrix, you probably have the answer.  But what's fascinating is how readily we can be to going back to something that doesn't exist anymore.  I guess you could say Neo was super-human and therefore had the stamina to keep going forward.  I think it's more that his eyes were opened and he was caught by the fire of his purpose.

One of the first steps of any journey is to define the purpose (the reason you're here).  Without purpose you're nothing more than a wonderer.  I didn't fully define my purpose until I crossed my personal Rubicon.  I was well under way by that time.  Regardless, it was key in helping me understand the dangers of trying to go back.

We are in a battle, you and I.  The present and the future are unfolding.  There are problems to solve and the resistance is great.

Here are 7 reasons why going back won't work:

  1. When you think about going back, it's usually accompnained by a false-sense that what's behind you was secure.  Revisionism gives us the luxury of telling ourselves lies.  We live in a world that is insecure.  This presents great opportunity too.
  2. Our lifetime is made up of multiple lifetimes.  This means there will be beginnings and endings.  Even the best situations were never made to go on and on.  Freedom is found in letting this happen.
  3. Sometimes God will blow-up that place we romanticize about in-order to get us to the better future we really want.  This is tough to accept.
  4. People and organizations move on.  It's not that you couldn't make it work.  But often you're growth means it wouldn't be a fit.  You should just let someone else have a turn.
  5. Our tendency to avoid loss keeps us lamenting about the "one that got away."  The feeling of liberation that failure can be should be tried.  By the way, Derek Rose misses about 58% of his shots.  So what are you afraid of?
  6. Our best work is ahead of us.  Some call it evolution, some call it progression, either way you should be embracing the work that is here and ahead.
  7. We get comfortable and that is the first step to missing our destiny.  The past provides great perceived comfort.  Mostly because we play the part of writer, producer and director.  Be uncomfortable before someone/something makes you that way.

Positioning

We all know people who are good at positioning for insincere purposes.  This is probably why the word has a fairly negative connotation.  But what about positioning for sincere and "right" reasons?

It could be a game-changer for you.

Whether you're looking for your next job opportunity or pitching a VC on a great business idea, positioning is vital.  Consider it the backdrop for your story.  If your intentions are sincere, then you should want to position the story (compelling and not like the everyone else) for your audience.  Seems to me it would take the edge off of the blues we can tend to experience while pursuing our dreams. 

It's worth it if you want your life to count.  Understand this; if you were looking for any employer, any VC, any business partner, then positioning would be a complete waste of time.  But my guess is you want it to be right.  The question is whether you're willing to go through the fire to find what you're looking for.

After the fire, you'll find the place you were looking for.

Career Fear Factor

3 Headed Dog 

 

"You are caught by what you are running from." – Sam Keen

 

Does losing your job or not finding a job scare you?  For many, the answer would be yes.  Now if it’s just a passing thought don’t pass out.  I'm speaking of preoccupation and consistent fear.  Most people have, at one time or another, considered the reality.  In 2011 the reality of this type of change is real-for better or worse.  But do you manage your career and life around that fear? 

 

I’ve seen leaders make decisions because they were calculating the most foreboding scenarios.  The great fear of job loss controls their every move.  This motivation produces mediocre results, and even worse, an absence of credibility with those that follow.  And since leaders who hold high positions of power are human, they lead by fear and hope for the best.  Sadly, many leaders and managers infect the very people they're supposed to help.  So what was once a singular issue is now organizational.

 

Human beings are skilled at setting up their own kingdoms…complete with impregnable walls and barbed wire fences.  We think we're in control.  The higher an individual climbs in their respective organization, the more tempting it will become to try to control everything.  That’s why organizations are “certifiable” for not catching their people early in the process.  For example, teaching them about holistic leadership and the danger fear-based living presents.

 

If you desire something great (something that leaves you, your family, other people, and your health intact) from a career, then you’re gonna have to risk.  Maybe even risk that very career you're hold onto so tightly.  I'm a much better human being, leader, entrepreneur because of the risks I've taken.  The risks have not always worked out in my favor, but there is no way I would have become what I am without those risks.

 

Better to get ahead of your fears, before they claim you.

What Failure May Really Mean

There is no doubt that we here in America are success obsessed.  In some ways it makes total sense.  Everyone desires to see positive results from what we put our lives into.  Not everyone measures it the same, but the desire remains.  But in this frame, I'm focusing on the kind of success that we tie our self-worth and identity to.  It is a problem-a big one.

I don't intend to unwrap the root cause of this success obsession.  However, I want to point out how the problem blocks us from breakthroughs.  Somewhere along the continuum, we bought some very expensive lies.  For example, you understand what failure means in the land of of success obsession.  It is to be avoided at all costs and you are to stay away from anything or anyone who has the unfortunate luck of experiencing it.  This is a big mistake to make because the road to breakthrough is paved, in part, by failure.

What if failure is a house of experiements?  What if failure is a refining fire for character and integrity?  What if no true success can come without a significant amount of failure?  I see great value in experiments, integrity and true success.  This column from Sir James Dyson really sets a good tone on this.

 

Getting Involved In Something You Shouldn’t

There's a trap out there, actually a lot of traps, around getting involved in things you shouldn't.  It ranges from career, relationships, business ideas/plans, and much more.

The premise of why people do this is not easily figured out, but when it happens you can usually find self-deceit nearby.  The idea of telling yourself a lie in order to do something in the moment.  Just the moment and no further.  You find yourself regretting it every time.

One of the ways I've found effective in minimizing the number of times I make the mistake of mis-involvement, is to check my God-given peace meter.  For example, I sometimes get pitches to get involved with a business venture.  If I find myself debating or squirming inside, I know it's time to stop.  It doesn't mean I'll never do it.  It just means "right now" is not going to work.

The worst mistake is to move into self-deception and convince yourself that you should do something when everything in you says stop.  Your gut is worth listening to.

 

The Problem With Talking Points

Talking Points 

Many years ago, some of my colleagues and I would joke about various talking points executed in the oh-so many meetings we attended.  What was ever striking about those talking points was the lack of conviction and sincerity.

So why the problem?

At some level we crossed over the line of danger when it comes to our words-spoken and written.  So much so, that many inside of organizations, families, churches, communities, and governments are jaded.  We've blurred the picture of what is real and what is fiction.  Regrettable leaders now feel comfortable using words in truth and lie.  They see this time as one meant for convenience and opportunity. 

Is there hope here?

The short answer is yes.  But the following needs to be adopted:

  1. Stop ceding your voice to those who think they're smarter than you.  Often-times they're not and should never be given the power to smother you.  It's a basic human thing that is bigger than a position, a title or career security.
  2. Stop allowing fame and fortune to cause you to turn the ether on.  The courageous and integrity driven folks are often never on Oprah.  But if we only see fame and fortune as valid, how will we recognize the "real" and authentic?
  3. Stop living someone else's life.  I wear a size 40 jacket, you wear a size 42, so why should you try wearing my jacket?  Your size is what you were meant to wear.  And by the way you'll be happier.
  4. Stop listening to the negative voices in your head.  Specifically, the type that cause you to run and hide.  Negative voices are inherently evil.
  5. Start demanding honesty from those that lead you, serve you or ask you for your money.  You're worth it!