Category: Leadership Development

The Fire of Failure

In the time that I have been a small business owner/partner, failure came.  And came again.  Some of the failures were unexpected and some were risks that didn’t pay off.  I’d love to tell you that I smiled and said "hurray, we’ll be better for this."  But I cried.  My business partner threatened.

Now that I have time to look back and connect the dots (thank you, Steve Jobs), I realize how refining the fire of failure can be.  In our age of instant this and get it easy that, embracing the refining process can seem ludicrous.  It isn’t.  I’m better and wiser because of the refining I’ve had to go through. 

Seth Godin has a post titled Recipes that is short, but very sweet.  He does a nice job of reminding us what real reality is, versus fantasy.

Here are some tips on embracing the fire of failure when it comes:

  • Remember its not a matter of if, but when.  Live with an energy that sees winning and failing as a nescessary cocktail.
  • No fire, no purity.  Ask any goldsmith or silversmith about this.
  • Don’t be afraid.  Fear will seduce you into accepting a cheap imitation (titles, money, office location, etc.) of success.
  • Don’t turn to paranoia or the "looking over my shoulder" mentality.  This will lead to you looking for failure.   
  • People who matter are watching.  It often means your motion picture is a source of inspiration.
  • Keep your vision close to you.  Whether on paper or on your hard drive, you’ll need to be reminded of the WHY.
  • People like Penelope and Malcom are facing and will face this fire too.

What Management Doesn’t Get: Leading People Implies Responsibility

I had a mind blowing thought today as I was driving.  We humans are a masterpiece.  I’m speaking specifically to the way we’re made.  The sheer complexity of our DNA and how our body knows what to do without any outside assistance. 

The above thoughts sent me thinking about what an AWESOME responsibility it is to lead other human beings.  And at the end of the day, this is what most managers don’t get.  It’s like someone who throws diamonds into the garbage disposal right along with yesterday’s leftovers.  You’d call that insane.

I learned the hard way about the responsibility in leading.  You get fame and fortune (relative to the stage you walk on) and almost inevitably you forget-forget about who is looking to you for direction.  Believe me it wasn’t the mirror.  It wasn’t until I observed the hunger and scars of the people in my last stint (about 10 years ago) in corporate America, that I began to see my AWESOME responsibility.  They hungered for someone to do the right thing and care.  The scars were from the deep wounds of managers who didn’t care about anything except their agenda and or ladder.

I’ll never forget a meeting I was participating in where a mission statement was being crafted.  Everyone agreed that serving our customers was an important part to have in the statement.  But there was a block. as 11 executives attempted to create something inspiring.  I then suggested that we add verbiage around serving our employees.  Silence.  More silence.  The idea was rejected and never adopted.  A few minutes later I leaned over to one of my colleagues and asked him how we could serve our customers, but not serve our employees?  Silence, with a shrug.

The issue comes back to management-senior and otherwise-not understanding their responsibility.  They don’t get it.

In the coming days we’ll unwrap how to overcome the confusion and how to move to leading from responsibility. Who knows, maybe we’ll start a rehab clinic for managers. 

Be Authentic

Tuscany_dirt_roadSorry I’m a little late in posting the last in my series on leadership.  Yesterday got away from me in a big way.

Be Authentic is the first chapter in my new book.  The subject of authenticity is spot on with where leaders are today.  Many have written about it, but I hope what I have will grow it further.

You can click here to read an excerpt from the book on being authentic.

The Dangers of What’s Seen

A good friend told me this week that there is danger in what we see versus what we don’t see.  Ten years ago I would have jumped out of my chair.  My how ten years can change things.  I believe firmly in the idea of the unseen.

"We are surrounded by opportunities, brilliantly masked as impossibilities."

               -Author Unknown

If you want to grow your leadership, then you need to start dealing in the currency of the unseen.  And yes, lot’s of what you encounter will look impossible.  I think impossibilities are like a test to see if you’re really committed to what you do and say.

As a leader beware of these "seen" situations:

  • I’m close to retirement, so I’ll let someone younger tackle this.
  • We don’t have the funds to invest in something so untested.
  • No one from my family has ever done or even attempted this.
  • The marketplace is too crowded, you’ll get lost in the mass.
  • Following your vision is OK, but you’ve got a family to take care of.
  • The last person who attempted that failed.
  • You’ve set the bar so high, how do you intend to reach it?

Now here’s a list of the unseen (names only)

  • Nelson Mandela
  • Thomas Edison
  • Mother Theresa
  • Bono
  • Steve Jobs
  • Saint Paul
  • Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Billy Graham
  • YOUR NAME GOES HERE

How Leaders Can Overcome Insecurity

We don't like to talk about insecurities.  Let's face it, insecurities are the proverbial skeletons in the closet or baggage we've carried around for years.  So why don't we talk about and deal with our insecurities?  Vulnerability.  With all our talk about compassion, tolerance and love you'd think insecurities would be out in the open.  But here's the dirty little secret; compassion, tolerance and love are rare.  Not because we don't have it to give, but because we're preoccupied with our own pursuits, our own agendas or our own insecurities.  For example, loving someone implies sacrifice.  Don't hear a lot about sacrifice these days.

So can leaders just keep their insecurities under the covers?  They can, but eventually insecurities have a way of getting out of bed.  When that happens people get hurt.  People at work, as well as people at home.  The better option is to overcome the insecurities and live out something that others will want to follow.

Here are some things I've learned and implemented to overcome insecurities:

  • Admit that I've got the baggage (insecurities).  Don't mean to sound like a step program, but admitting is a powerful tool.
  • Stop looking for some permanent state of happiness and focus on joy.  Pursuing happiness is futile, because in itself happiness is a temporary state.  For example, last week I wasn't happy about the lack of response I was receiving from a newspaper.  This week I'm OK, because I had time to pray and think.  Joy is your root system if you choose to let it be.  It's firm and many times immovable.
  • Get mentors that love you, but are not impressed by you.  People like this will be willing to tell you the truth and ask you hard questions.  If you don't have a mentor now, you should start looking for one.
  • Don't think you're alone and don't be alone in dealing with insecurities.  Isolation will kill.  Think of how the Hyena approaches attacking a lion.  Hyenas search for ways to isolate the lion.  They instinctively know that to take on a lion one-on-one or in a group would be certain death.  However, if they can isolate the lion, victory is often times certain.  So it goes with us.  If you crawl into your own corner and withdraw.  All your demons and monsters will devour you.
  • Don't take yourself too seriously. 
  • Find the vision inside yourself and pursue it.  I've found that I have little time to ponder/obsess over insecurities when I have a vision.  My urgency for dealing with my insecurities grows as well, because I don't want to be disrupted in my mission.
  • Talk often with God.

What would your organization look like if you overcame your insecurities?  Great, would be the perfect adjective.

Getting It Wrong

Today is the second in a week-long series on leadership.  We’ll be examining some not so obvious issues facing leaders.

Think of yourself as a manager who has been called on to give a "state of the department" presentation to your group.  Maybe the group numbers at 50 or 10.  Regardless, you know you have to prepare.  And maybe that’s the problem.  Really.

I know you need to make sure you’ve got last quarters numbers or a concise view of where the market is heading.  But I want you to think about the following things that are infinitely more important:

  • Do you really know your people?  Their your audience, so you don’t want to be looking into the eyes of strangers.  It is essential that you know the pulse of the room.
  • Are you overly concerned about getting right?  You know what I mean.  Are you too concerned about the flow of the Power Point?  Are you thinking about the suit you’re going to wear more than once?
  • Do you know who the most important people are in your organization?  If you think it would be the CEO or COO, you would be wrong.  The most important people usually make a fraction of what a C-level executive does and don’t have a title that’s a mile long.
  • Do you really care or is this just another show?  Motivations reveal truth and measure how authentic you are.
  • Can you tell your people about a better future.  In other words, VISION.

In the end, preparation is important.  But if you’re not prepared in the right areas, you’ll be getting it wrong, while trying to get it right.  I’ve found this to be true over and over again in my calling. 

If you’re doing what you were born to do, all those details (Power Point, suit fabric, market conditions or how articulate you are) will come together.  The question is whether you will let it.

Leadership’s Lonely Road

Cycle

The title of this post is not intended to depress you.  The title of this post is to prepare you, so you can know how to navigate the inevitable.  Time to put up a road block to "denial."

If you recognize yourself as a leader (someone who has influence-great or small), then times of loneliness are familiar to you.  You know what I mean.  Remember when you spoke out in defense of a colleague, but no one joined you?  How about when you embraced an idea that took longer to become a reality than many had patience for?  If you're trying to get your arms around the idea, then I hope what I'm writing will inform and inspire. 

A lonely road can be defined in the following ways:

  • A place where you are taking a path less traveled.
  • A place where you are facing fierce opposition.
  • A place where you know you're right.
  • A place like the Rubicon.
  • A place of deep questioning.

For those of you who lead in corporate America I feel a special connection.  Please keep in-mind that leading is simply influencing.  Leading is not exclusive to a title or job description.  My loneliest times can be found during that period of my life spent inside of corporate America.  Oh my, did I learn though!  I learned what crucibles were all about.  Ever been in a meeting where your authentic voice was ignored?  I say authentic, because counter-genuine leadership is so prevalent today.  Ever tried to tell your manager that customers are growing tired of the delays?  But your manager turns it back on you and implies you're not a team player.

Most mile markers on these roads are truly opportunities to grow.  Even though you may feel strange because of your circumstances.  Call it what you will, but you must go through in-order to grow into the leader you were meant to be. 

So how do we navigate through the lonely roads?  Here are some practical suggestions:

  • Recognize that lonely roads are places of discovery.  The happy/success roads rarely teach you and grow you.
  • Lonely roads will help you know who is for you.  True friends stay with you on lonely roads.  Sycophants, posers and fair-weather friends won't go with you on lonely roads.  You need to know who you can count on.
  • This might be pre-navigation, but don't think that lonely roads are for others.
  • Your greatest crucible will be the object of your greatness communication.
  • Find and stay close to trusted advisors/mentors.
  • Focus on your vision.  Without a vision, lonely roads will convince you to give up.
  • Remove the incongruent values from your life.
  • Remember, expression deepens impression, so keep talking about your dreams.  You are the dream and the dream is you.
  • Find those you can help and do so.  There is healing in helping others as they navigate a lonely road.
  • Start writing (a blog, a journal, a diary).  You don't want to leave your head full of your anger, your doubts, your fears.  The blank page is your friend.

How To Surround Yourself With People Who Are For You Part II

I wrote a post some time ago about how to surround yourself with people who are for you.  It warrants another look today, considering all the recent news (elections, recession, career insecurity).

The following are 7 keys to knowing and choosing:

  1. Start thinking seriously about the circle of people that surrounds you now.  Evaluate (why do you hang around them, are they positive or negative, would they be around if you failed) the value they bring to your life, and then make a decision about whether they should be in your circle.  Sign post up ahead; this won’t be easy.
  2. Test those who you’ve decided to keep.  For example, tell them about a dream you have.  See if they tell you its impossible.  A person that embraces the impossible is more than likely seeking to keep you in a box.
  3. Do the people in your circle cross-pollinate with you? Meaning, are they looking to you for inspiration.  You don’t want a one-sided relationship.
  4. Have the people in your circle connected you with others who can help?  If they haven’t, question why not.
  5. Is there any jealousy between you?  If someone in your circle is jealous, then its a sign of someone just hanging around to satisfy their insecurities.  Be careful here, jealous people eventually betray.
  6. Look to the eyes to discover what is in the soul.  For example, if you see fear when you tell someone your dreams, then you are probably looking at someone who won’t be for you.  They may say something positive, but its a mask.
  7. Control your urge to be liked.  We all want this, but it can kill if we’re not careful.

It’s so important to have a powerful circle of people who genuinely seek your good.  These people are ecstatic when you win.  They also will be grounded in reality, which is key in keeping you from chasing fantasies.

A Book of Dreams

Do you have a book of dreams?  I’m talking about the book that holds all the dreams you’ve seen become reality.  I think you should have one.  Here’s why:

  • Without a book of dreams, you’ll fall from someone else’s dogma.  For example, your boss or the latest feel-good/no-pain sales pitch.
  • Dreams make every pursuit meaningful.  Your career then becomes a tool to catch your dreams.
  • People without a book of dreams fall prey to fantasy.  Fantasy is the exercise of hoping Simon realllllllly likes you.
  • God placed dreams in you to draw you.
  • Show me someone without a book of dreams, and I’ll show you someone who is cynical, critical and hurting.
  • People with a book of dreams have figured out that dreams do come true (thank you Walt) and anything less is a lie.
  • People with a book of dreams are at peace with knowing that life is a limited time offer, so they run harder.
  • A book of dreams will give you focus, and not distraction.

I’m sure I could have kept the above list shorter, but I’m speaking from my own experience.  I’d like to warn you also, expect people to think you’re a nut case.  Just expect it.  Those well intentioned (you know what road they pave) people will tell you that you’re being impractical, foolish, and stubborn.  "I’m jealous of you and too afraid to pursue my own dreams," is what you won’t hear.  But it lives in them just the same.

How Elitism Can Poison You and Your Organization

When an organization gets lazy and just reads from the manual, they have probably embraced elitism.  Some might call this plain old laziness.  Individuals can make the same fatal mistake too.  Just take a look at many senior leaders in corporate America today. 

You can reach elite status in many ways.  You may work in corporate America and just got a big promotion or your organization may have been profiled in the latest issue of Fast Company too.  Above all its about a mindset.  Organizations, and people, who take the path to elitism are destined to fail.  Why?  Elitism is built on the idea that you are superior to everyone (even those who truly are better than you are).  The subtle deception of elitism is found in the irony of outward success, but inward waste. 

Here’s how to know if you’re (individual) an elitist…some of these can be applied to an organization as well:

  • You’re not willing to listen to the voice of others.
  • You look for your work to validate who you are.
  • You think you’re the only one with the answer.
  • You spend a lot of time defending your policies and procedures.
  • You’re suspicious of others in the organization because they think differently.
  • You don’t have an exit strategy.
  • You are not well liked, but you think you are.

Is there hope for you?  Yes, but elitists often die-hard.  Authentic change begins with a decision to turn around.  Your future will be defined by the choice you make.  Just ask Neo: