Finding Something Bigger Than Yourself

These days I feel like an alien.  Could be a good thing considering our culture, our times and my grief.

Mother Teresa and Nelson found something bigger than themselves.  Both paid a high price, but the mark/legacy is indisputable.  They were not people of merely words, but of action.  I have to believe that God designed them to specifically leave an imprint. 

I used to think that certain leaders were special.  Sort of the chosen ones who were given a green light while the masses just looked on.  I don't believe that anymore.  God doesn't waste DNA on anyone, but we do sometimes get watered down.  Who we are vanishes in a haze of success and pursuits.  Ever notice how a poor economy unmasks this act.  Take away the toys and who we are is on display. 

I'm rethinking the meaning behind economic downturn.

Maybe all of the messages about uncertainty are true.  Maybe this is the best place we could ever hope to be in.  No more dependence on government (liberal or conservative), no more hope in Wall Street, no more turning away, just asking questions that are personal.  Questions like the following:

  • Mother Teresa said that Calcuttas are everywhere.  If that's true then where's your Calcutta?
  • If death is certain, then how do you cheat the grave?  Here's a hint: Do what my dad did, poor yourself into someone (me) without them knowing it.
  • Have you found something that leaves you totally vulnerable?  Could be a person, vision, movement or organization.
  • What are you afraid of?  This answer will reveal your greatest threat.
  • Will anyone be the better for your contribution/participation.
  • Have you given up serving by proxy.
  • Has your heart been broken?  This could the place to find your greatest imprint.

I Have Learned…

I have learned…

  • When you give love, it's permanent.
  • The process is infinitely more important than the outcome.
  • Fairness will be addressed on the other side of eternity.
  • Life without risk is impossible, a risk-free life is death disguised as living.
  • When your race is finished, the mirror will provide 90% of the answers to the why questions.
  • Your heart will determine the size of your shadow.
  • No one remembers a manager.
  • The best leaders avoid embracing the "manual."
  • Every human needs a great quest, just like air.
  • Pain shapes a heart like nothing else.
  • Time goes by quickly, better value it more than gold.

A Father’s Lesson

My wife and I were talking about family values a couple of days ago.  Don’t worry, this post has zero to do with politics.  We were discussing what’s most important to us and how it impacts the rearing of our kids.

The conversation was brought on by the reality of how busy many families are today.  Whether its kids in multiple sports, work, extended family obligations or general responsibilities.  Many people are overwhelmed, and not so sure their direction is sound.

As we spoke, it dawned on me how important my time is to my kids.  Time to look them in the eyes, time to smile at the miracle they are, and time to lead.  As tough as it is to live it out, my family is my second most important value.  Consequently, I have said no to many good things in oder to say yes to the best things.

The title of this post is very personal and worth sharing because the subject matter was double confirmed when I read this post (The Brand in the Sand) from Anna Farmery.  Anna has a wonderful blog that many of you may frequent titled The Engaging Brand.

Anna’s relationship with her father has inspired me before, but this story touched me in a way that can only be defined as profound.  You’ll understand after reading her post.  But I hope one day my son and daughter will look back and see me in the same brush strokes that Anna paints of her father.

The Toll Road of Reinvention

Spoke to a friend last week who told me about a man of fifty-seven.  A typical tale for a corporate soldier in America today.  He's tired, bored and wonders where the time went.

The financial crisis happening here and around the world is taking a toll on investment accounts, retirement accounts and faith (if we still have that) in how our governments work.  But what about the man, or woman, of fifty-seven who sees only few options left (no, the answer is not held in the mind of Obama or McCain)?

I have written before about the toll that ten, twenty or thirty years of poor leadership can have on followers.  Now we're beginning to see the shift economically, which usually is the first crisis before the other shift can happen.  That shift is where people have to discover/rediscover who they really are, and it doesn't happen without a crisis.

The way up is the way down.

As a follower of Jesus Christ, I don't get as bent out of shape by crisis.  He wrote the story, I live it out.  A beautiful, tragic, happy, fluid, exciting epic with my name on it.  After forty-two years, I've seen and experienced so many crises that I now see them as part of the plot.

Regardless of your age, you will face a crossroads where reinvention beckons.  You can ignore it, but just know that more of who you are and what you do will become gray.  If you accept the reinvention invitation you might find that the next chapter is ready to be played out.

The Art of Not Forgetting

In our frenzied business culture, the tendency is to fly through.  We do this thankful we made it on time to the next meeting.  But what about the forgetting?  You know, the thing you thought was spot on.  This happens way too often to leaders at every level of the organization.  Kind of makes sense when you think of all that comes at us.

If we're not careful, we'll find ourselves scratching our heads wondering what happened to our work and lives.  We'll find the unimportant to be great and the important to be good.  Turned around to be sure.

Is there a way to cease from the madness?  One way is to have a set group of values and become a slave to them.  For example, let's say your kids are your #3 value, but your career always causes you to miss the important events.  In this case, I would recommend you find a different career.  Your values should have good alignment with your employer-really.  Anything less is a mirage.

I see the following as great practice for the art of not forgetting:

  1. Your spouse has stuck with you for ten years-good times and bad.  Who else has done this for you?  Once a week for the next three months, spend five minutes reviewing all the ways he or she has been there for you.
  2. Maybe you're super successful in your career.  Success is almost a given for you.  Do same exercise as in #1 and think about when you needed help double-bad.
  3. Maybe you have friends that surround you.  Everyone wants to hang around.  Do the same exercise as in #1 and #2, and think about how many people would stick around if all you had was your name.

The above will create a habit of not forgetting, and maybe more importantly create an attitude focused on humility.  Isn't that what you want?

I started to write this post as a one sentence remembrance to those who lost their lives on 9/11/2001.  The sentence went like this:

    "I haven't forgotten 9/11/2001 or the people who lost their lives."

Seems the art of not forgetting is more important than I first thought.  

Writer’s Block and Your Story

I've been grappling with writer's block lately, so sorry for the infrequent posting.  I won't write unless there's something in my heart that needs to come out.  Not sure what that says about me.

See Sting's clip on Fields of Gold for a great example of art imitating life.  I love how the director (not sure who) uses Sting's body to reflect the character's past story.  The video, and song, really communicates well how a story is unfolding inside each of us.

We Are Fragile

We are fragile.  Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I know some won’t go here with me, but let’s not pretend that it doesn’t apply.  So wherever you are now, give yourself room to be open.


This post came to me after hearing about a tragedy.  One where hope was lost in one person’s heart and mind. 


So, since we’re all leaders, let’s consider the following:

  • Everyone who hears the words of your voice has the potential of catching a virus.  The virus is you.
  • If you think that human beings were designed to endure harsh words, commands, and the like, I would beg you to reconsider or resign.
  • You may be the only person someone believes in.  Therefore, continue to inspire no matter how much it costs you.
  • If your agenda does not allow you to purposely rub off on those who follow you, then throw out the agenda.  You’re in the legacy building business, whether you know it or not.
  • If you’re helping people realize their dreams, don’t stop there, get into reproduction and replication.
  • Don’t forget the forgotten.
  • Leadership implies responsibility, not privilege (thank you Peter Drucker).
  • Your story is worth telling, so don’t keep it to yourself.

Could you bring the light back to people who see only darkness.  I’m not talking about changing people, just showing a brilliant light and letting the chips fall where they may.


My prayers go out to those today who’ve lost hope.

The Beauty of Tuscany

Tuscan Vineyard


As stated many times, I am lover of wine.  I am especially fond of red wine.  The health benefits, the taste (when the palate is given a chance to embrace), and the story of the different growing regions make for stimulating thought.


James Suckling is a senior editor, writer and taster for Wine Spectator.  I found this post on his blog and wanted to share it with you.  He paints a beautiful picture of life and Tuscany.