Category: Life Perspectives

Thankfulness in the Midst

This post was written in November of 2008. I'm dedicating it today to a dear friend who has refreshed my belief in thankfulness.

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When you think of thankfulness, is it bitter, sweet or both?  In America we're soon to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday.  This one is quite different than many before.  So many issues pressing against us.

I have many friends who are now downright pessimistic about the future.  They see so much bad on the horizon that it causes them to lose hope. 

One conclusion I've come to is that I don't have the power overcome their fear.  All I can do is live out an example.  To that end, here's what I'm doing:

  • Giving thanks in the midst of hard times.  It's easy to be thankful when all is going your way.  The test of our integrity comes when we have to fight through our own losses.
  • On-purpose indifference to the media.  Don't get me wrong, I'm staying informed.  I'm just not confusing substantive information for selling.  This is big.
  • Continue my habit of speaking about a better future.  Not a future provided, but a future created.
  • Embracing the little things that are large.  For example, one glance to create a connection with another human being, so they know how important they are.
  • Remember, remember, remember that fear only needs my attention in-order to succeed.

I'm confident that by doing the above I will live a life of thankfulness.  That's the best legacy I can leave for my friends.

A Favorite Song

Just felt this was important to post for me today. Hope you feel the same.

Time Stand Still

I turn my back to the wind
To catch my breath
Before I start off again.
Driven on without a moment to spend
To pass an evening with a drink and a friend

I let my skin get too thin
I'd like to pause
No matter what I pretend
Like some pilgrim
Who learns to transcend
Learns to live as if each step was the end

(Time stand still)
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
(Time stand still)
See more of the people and the places that surround me now
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away
Experience slips away

I turn my face to the sun
Close my eyes
Let my defences down
All those wounds that I can't get unwound

I let my past go too fast
No time to pause
If I could slow it all down
Like some captain, whose ship runs aground
I can wait until the tide comes around

(Time stand still)
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
(Time stand still)
See more of the people and the places that surround me now
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each impression a little bit stronger
Freeze this motion a little bit longer
The innocence slips away
The innocence slips away…

Summer's going fast, nights growing colder
Children growing up, old friends growing older
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away
Experience slips away…
The innocence slips away

Lyrics by Neil Peart

Thoughts on Marriage-The Winning and the Losing

I don't know if I've ever written a post on marriage. I know I've never written about the winning and the losing side of it. With the exception of my wife, I just haven't. Sorry.

Marriage can be a powerful part of Epic Living.

I happened upon this post while on Google + last week. The writer, Kelly Flanagan, is a therapist practicing in Wheaton, Illinois. It is by far, one of the best takes on what makes for a thriving marriage. He does an excellent job of breaking things down in a way that most anyone can unwrap. I think he's onto something that many already know; a life-long relationship is essentially about serving/giving to the person you love. The greatest irony of this is found in the fact that you get so much more back from that serving/giving.

Married or not, you'll gain a lot out of his perspective. I'd love to know if you see applications beyond marriage too. 

A Glass Half-Full in a Half-Empty World

Sustained optimism in the craziness of modern life is essential. It pulls you through in hard times and keeps you wide-awake in the good times. What makes it difficult is many attach their optimism to good fortune-small and large.

Let's face it, anyone can be optimistic when the glass is half-full in a half-empty world.

I've written before that human beings are excellent actors. This is really true in our modern life. You've seen it (maybe by accident) before. A leader works on summoning the right words, the right posture, the right look in the eye, all to portray something either not true or something less than sure. This is the strange dichotomy of being real versus the act.

True optimism requires truth.

I've found that people who have followed me just wanted me to be me. They were just looking for truth. Followers are often not under any delusions about where things stand these days. Pity the poor leaders who have convinced themselves otherwise.

So what's your glass like?

Adult Bullying Creates Child Bullying

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Adult bullying is not a place I've gone to very often-directly anyway. I usually leave that to Asher Adelman over at eBoss Watch. He's good at looking at bullying in the work place. However, this story from a couple of days ago got me thinking. As tragic as that story was and is, you can't help but think about the things children are doing these days.

My conclusion on the subject of bullying is; adult bullying creates child bullying.

Modeling over a consistent period of time is what I'm pointing to.  The influence that comes from our modeling is a guide book for our children. Our children learn and take their cues from our modeling. Since childhood is a significant period of development we are not surprised by this reality. No prescription for perfection here, but if we adults want to seriously impact bullying in our children, then we need to stop bullying too. We adults do the same shit as our children and we know better.

Scary when you think about what our modeling has done to our children.

Time to turn around…

Gaining Perspective

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Ah, the beauty of gaining perspective. I'm certain if we (including me) took more time to take a step back, our lenses would be clearer. The kind of clarity we long for in the midst of our daily madness.

I have gained much perspective in the these early days of 2012. Ironic, given my kicking and screaming in the last part of 2011. Forced perspective is a good thing too. I now have a peace about not just knowing, but of understanding. This needs to happen in-order to move to behavior change.

The following are some perspectives I've come to lately:

  • Clarity of mind is played before an audience of One. It doesn't matter if nobody else understands. Embrace the clarity and keep moving.
  • Money is important. But treat it as a soulless animal. It can't make anything better, it's just a tool for support and sustainability. 
  • There is no ending until you've breathed your last. Life is a series of chapters. I want my choices to frame a story that will flow into a great legacy, whether I get to see it or not. I feel good about this.
  • I am limited and will never be limitless. I operate under the reality that God is limitless and a bigger Freak than me. This implies that He will ask me to do things that will blow my mind.
  • In certain circumstances, I must stand still in the hurricane. No looking for shelter, no panic, just be there, even when it feels like the end is looking me right in the eye.

When It’s Too Late to Change

I'm an optimist, a dreamer, more than I should be some have said. As I spend more time on this planet, one thing is for sure, there is a point in time when it's too late to change. 

This doesn't make me a pessimist. We're all in the dye-casting business. Slowly.

Think of all of your small and large decisions over life's road. Each one creating permanence. Rather daunting I know, but the beauty of it is we have been given the freedom and responsibility to decide whether we go ahead or go back. Very few of us will ever have a gun to our head demanding we ignore our physical health or to tell that little lie that will tilt things in our favor.

We've read of the those coming to the end of their days regretting much of what was before. The sober reality that no matter what they say or do, nothing can be altered. Funny thing how our culture is great at taking in information, while doing nothing with it. Any time you encounter someone whose story is entering the final act should make you review deeply your own course. The desire for distractions and easy paths will disconnect your best intentions every time.

Here are some things to be very careful with as you seek to make your life regret-free:

  • Money
  • Power
  • Longing
  • Work
  • Dissatisfaction

Maybe there is more to add here. But one thing is certain, there is a time when it's too late to change. Count your days and you'll get a better understanding.