Being Real

Being Real

In many ways being social is an open door to being real. Ever wonder why many don’t go that route? More and more, being social is an open door to being a fake.

The most prominent way of being social in 2014 is found online. We have portals like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn that are rooted in the idea of social networking. These tools give people the ability to tell their story. As you know, the motivations vary from job-hunting, PR, to show boating. Everyone has a voice.

So why aren’t we more real?

In time past (pre-social media), most of us were known by a limited audience. Usually, the span was friends, family and the people we went to school or worked with. This network usually found out about your stuff via phone or getting together in the flesh. In those situations you had a pretty small universe to shine. This probably kept us, for the most part, humble. And humility is what’s missing now.

“Marketing is a lie, so we can tell ourselves a lie, that we desperately want to believe.” – Author Unknown

Fast forward to the now and we have a completely different ball game. Now we’re obsessed by how many likes we get, how many followers we have or who’s in our network. All this for the sake of a lie. Many don’t even know it’s a lie. We’ve watered down truth so much, that we can’t tell the difference. Our endless pursuit of validation and success (defined by a culture in decline) rips apart truth, and the identity it reveals. I equate true identity to being real, no matter the cost. There is no bigger a lie than a life wearing a mask.

If you’re longing for more, then the crossroads is near to your view.

I find it amazing that the world is starving for the real and we stay fixated on the proposition. I’ve made this mistake:

  • Presenting my story the way I thought I should
  • Taking engagements because I thought it would make me more viable
  • Partnering with rock stars because I thought we stood for the same things
  • Being scared of what people might think
  • Trusting snakes disguised as angels

Being real is a risk-filled offer. After years of getting this down in my head and my heart, there is no other alternative. Risk is a very reasonable price to pay for such a pay-off as becoming the real thing. The most important part is you’ll start to venture into what lies over the sun. The activities of manipulating just to make a short-term gain, posing as someone you’re not and using people to move your needle will be exposed as a waste of time you don’t have.

Being real is the start of epic living.

 

When Authentic Was Authentic

Masks 

I shouln't be surprised that we've come to the point where a segment of the marketing universe is coaching "authentic."  Yes, authenticity is now being taught.  I guess it's a new business opportunity to reform the fake.  Judging by this piece from the New York Times, many are jumping on the bandwagon.  But in your gut, you're probably not surprised.

If you're someone who is learning how to express yourself in a way that fits who you are or you are someone who's going through the process of reinvention due to job loss, then I get what you're doing and this post is not meant to rub you the wrong way.

The idea of advisment around authenticity comes from a motivation to build trust.  A trust to buy.  What many businesses forget is people don't trust because those same businesses would rather make a sale than make a long-term relationship.  In a long-term relationship there is a blend of give and take, good and bad, yes and no, you get my point.  From what I see most don't have the desire or stamina to deal with that.  Ironically, I don't know many people who want a one-sided (always in the favor of the business/provider) engagement as a customer or a human being.

What are we doing?  I mean really, is authenticity something that we need to coach?  If it is, then here's my authentic recipe/contribution to those who Really want to be more authentic:

  • Find out why you're here (Planet Earth). 
  • Define what you value most and give unwavering allegiance to those things.
  • Manage happiness and performance on a daily basis.  It's worth your time.
  • Consistently seek to get better through planning and goal setting.
  • Tell other people what you've found and are doing.

That should about cover it.