Tag: direction

Something the Boy Said

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Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

"I'll do better next time. No excuses"

    –African–American Teen-Age Boy

 

My daughter started junior-high this year. It goes without saying, I'm not sure how she got to 13 so quick. Regardless, she decided to try cross country as a sport. I was a little concerned. She showed me that my concern was unfounded. The sport helped her in multiple ways and her team went undefeated. A good first year.

The story that I write about tonight revolves around a chance meeting and something a boy said to me.

At a meet a couple of weeks ago I met a boy who must have been 13. I didn't get his name. But he left a mark (see the quote above) on me. I wasn't expecting the response he gave. I only asked him how his race went. 

"I will do better next next time. No excuses."

Those words still reverberate through my soul. We adults would do well to put his words into practice. It's clear we live in an age that carries many questions. Figuring out life can seem like a Rubik's Cube or trying to figure out some complex riddle. For many, life is not what was expected or wanted. We're like that person trying to open a door used to open, but now seems permanently stuck or locked.

This is not a post about a boy's response and how it can change everything. It is about a foundational principle that can carry you to figuring out much. Sort of like a star in the northern sky that confirms your position on a dark sea. It really gives you hope. In the end, you'll go further with this approach in your life, while leaving excuses to those that never really wanted to change anyway.

Life is difficult. The idea that it was supposed to be easy originated with the same folks who gave you the idea of "retirement." Not many will admit to easy, but humanly speaking, we tend to like things to go our way. No indictments here, just looking in the mirror (seeing me).

So what's with the african-american notation? I am always inspired when I meet someone who comes from my culture and wants to achieve through a timeless principle like responsibility-true responsibility. Far too often, the narrative speaks to a different approach. I'm not condemning anything here, I'm lifting something up, namely a young man's intention.

"I will do better next time. No excuses."

So what have I learned from that boy?

  1. There is a next time, Lord willing.
  2. Doing better next time implies that I made a mistake or failed in some way and I've earned the right to try again. It's OK.
  3. My losses need to be in lights, just like my successes.
  4. Failing to take responsibility (true responsibility) is akin to avoiding learning.
  5. Reflection, wherever and whenever I embraced it, has been a faithful friend. Reflection gives you the opportunity to see what went right and what went wrong.

How about you?

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Steering by the Stars

All of us get lost in the darkness

Dreamers learn to steer by the stars

          –Neil Peart

That lyric is from the song The Pass.

What an appropriate verse to the theme of yesterday's post.  Steering by the stars becomes important when traditional navigation becomes obsolete.  This skill is needed when times are tough, but even more important when things are going well (we tend to think we don't need any help when the road is silk paved).  Certainly, it is tough when darkness descends on a career or love.  The choice is ours as to how we will respond.  I for one, have not always responded well.

I had a vivid dream once where I was asked to come on a journey at night.  The offer included a flashlight, so I felt secure in the knowledge that I would have enough light.  I took the offer and proceeded forward.  After some time, the flashlight began to dim and I realized the batteries were dying.  Realizing that I had come to far to turn back, I looked up and saw millions of stars.  I heard a voice that said, "now you will learn your direction by the stars."  I woke up…

That dream came to me just when I needed it.  It helped me understand the importance of learning and adapting.  You might be skeptical, you might even be laughing.  But the question remains; how do we steer when the light has ceased?

Here are a some tips:

  • If things are going well now, start learning about the principles of navigating through tough times.  It will be painful at first because you may think the time would be better served enjoying the fruits.  See the financial services industry about the foolishness of enjoying the fruits.
  • Don't go it alone.  Hire a coach, find a mentor or seek out others who have experience (real experience) under their belt.
  • If you're in the darkness right now, then don't give up.  But be sure you're on the right terrain.  In other words, if you were never excited about being a social media guru, don't keep convincing yourself that you need to stay one.
  • If you don't expect your path to be easy, then you will learn what you need to learn.
  • Take time to rest.
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The Value Proposition

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Welcome to 2013! In today's post I'm focusing on the value proposition. Not in relation to your investments or sales process, but your epic life. Don't turn away. Reading this may be the most important thing you do all year. Not because I'm such a great thinker or writer, but because your life is worth more than you can imagine. Sounds cliche doesn't it. Your awkward smile and feeling of embarrassment that you haven't paid enough attention to life's rhythm is hanging on your sleeve.

I watch people intently-live and written. I gauge their behavior and their words. I want to see if they really are as "whole" as they portray themselves to be. My review isn't to judge or make light, but to see if I've been given the opportunity to focus on helping them move to a place of Epic (their movie, their symphony, their happiness) Living. In many ways my blood runs with a sense of how their story unfolds.

We are in great danger.

I told a friend and fellow-pilgrim some time ago, that I've seen this recurring vision of a large building with an office full of people. On any given day I see a band of mercenaries planting bombs and traps for the people going in and out everyday. I have some experience with bombs and traps. I used to set them. How's that for irony? If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you know my story. In the end, my calling and mission is to save as many as possible. And, yes, I've been called and construed as one of the "crazy ones." 

At this point in your story, I would like you to consider how the value proposition can create great odds for success. It will not be easy and it will create a crossroads, just a friendly warning.

Here's how to do it:

  1. Turn off the world (the marketing, the people, the employers, etc.) before you begin this process. By the way, the world will not like this. If you ignore my warning here, you'll go into a form of mental slavery. Someone or something else will sieze control.
  2. I'm giving you 5 diamonds worth millions, the rarest of the rare. Each one represents what you value most in life. Things like God, family, a cause, friends, career, etc. Choose wisely here.
  3. Now, the condition of me giving you the diamonds is you must take care of and keep the value of the diamonds growing at an annual 10% clip each year. Every day in the given year will be the measuring stick. The take-away is, you must take care of your diamonds every day.
  4. If you fail in number 3, you lose your life.
  5. As an added bonus, I will stay with you during the year to help you with perspective and give feedback. I will only do this when you ask. It's your life after-all.

Intersted in this value proposition? You should be, you're already invested.

The Hard Choice

Daily, we all face a multitude of choices. Human nature drives us to the easy ones. Defining moments are found in the hard choice. You know, the one you'd rather not do or would rather ignore.

The problem is really on the front-side pain. The initial struggle and dislike associated. Many lose out on their dreams by giving into their fear and avoidance.

It would be great if there were a voice telling us "it's ok, the pain is worth it." The truth is we do-in one form or another.

The listening and doing part is the crux.