Tag: Executive Coaching

The Authentic Self and Why It Matters

A re-post from last year:

Any number of us have attended conferences, embarked on new programs for growth or decided to change something for the better.  On the face of things, all of those choices are good.  But your authentic self is where it all begins.  If you fail to address authenticity, you run a great risk.  No program, plan or event can help you until the authentic is addressed.

Are you still playing someone else's role?

I fully understand the trepidation involved in addressing who you really are (the authentic self).  It conjures up the idea of no secrets, vulnerability and most of all honesty.  This can be daunting and some just run from the proposition of "going there."  But never forget that who you really are is the safest place you could ever be.  I write this from experience.

Here are some things to consider as you turn to who you really are:

  • If you've been in the habit of lying to your self, make a decision to stop.  Self-honesty is essential in finding the authentic self.
  • Are your friends situational?  Sever the ties.  Situational friends need sunny days, material success and the like to stick with you.
  • Join my tribe at Epic Living (located on Facebook).
  • Read Simon Sinek's book, Start with Why.
  • Have or create a short list of what makes you come alive.

The Problem With Talking Points

Talking Points 

Many years ago, some of my colleagues and I would joke about various talking points executed in the oh-so many meetings we attended.  What was ever striking about those talking points was the lack of conviction and sincerity.

So why the problem?

At some level we crossed over the line of danger when it comes to our words-spoken and written.  So much so, that many inside of organizations, families, churches, communities, and governments are jaded.  We've blurred the picture of what is real and what is fiction.  Regrettable leaders now feel comfortable using words in truth and lie.  They see this time as one meant for convenience and opportunity. 

Is there hope here?

The short answer is yes.  But the following needs to be adopted:

  1. Stop ceding your voice to those who think they're smarter than you.  Often-times they're not and should never be given the power to smother you.  It's a basic human thing that is bigger than a position, a title or career security.
  2. Stop allowing fame and fortune to cause you to turn the ether on.  The courageous and integrity driven folks are often never on Oprah.  But if we only see fame and fortune as valid, how will we recognize the "real" and authentic?
  3. Stop living someone else's life.  I wear a size 40 jacket, you wear a size 42, so why should you try wearing my jacket?  Your size is what you were meant to wear.  And by the way you'll be happier.
  4. Stop listening to the negative voices in your head.  Specifically, the type that cause you to run and hide.  Negative voices are inherently evil.
  5. Start demanding honesty from those that lead you, serve you or ask you for your money.  You're worth it!

What Others May Not See

Rainbow 

What if you're the guy or gal who has decided to embrace change, even if you're not sure what that change may bring?  I applaud you if you are.  It's healthy and the life you want is paved with your willingness to move forward.

How about those that decide not to go with you?  Not a huge deal when it's the co-worker who likes to gossip or the brother-in-law that seems to think he has the best plan for your life.  But when it's someone you love or someone you call a friend it can stop you in your steps.  You might even think about going back to Egypt.  A place you think, even if it was miserable, as a safer bet with no resistance.

From my own experience it is never easy to change.  And conversly it is not easy for those that are watching or playing a part in your motion picture-your life.  Your changes may be a source of discomfort, construed as a violation of a committment you supposedly made, or like the fool who believes only the stuff flowing through their head, you refuse to be the person they define you to be.

Here's what I've done so far to manage what others may not see on my journey:

  1. Let go.
  2. Open my eyes up so that I can see new friends (thank you Marc, Ed, Anna, Mike).
  3. Give those who are trying to stick with you a chance(s).  Not everyone moves at the same pace, but they must be moving.
  4. Remember, the world need the person you're becoming.
  5. Don't expect applause, don't think you can change people, and it accept that some relationships were intended for only a season.

 

A Glimpse Of A 2011 Growth Plan

As we've crossed over into a new year, and decade for that matter, I thought I would share some of what I'm planning for 2011.

The importance of having a growth plan is nothing new to you if you've read my work before.  It truly is the fuel behind any vision.  If you haven't embarked on this type of journey, I highly recommend you do and we can help.  Click here to learn more.

The following is my vision and some bullets from my 2011 growth plan supporting it:

    God’s destiny for me is to have and live an Epic Life.  This life will address multiple facets of living.  My life will be a motion picture that births joy and changes lives.  My legacy will be built accordingly.

    I see myself as an excellent husband and father.  Eileen, Lauren and Grant are my most important priority.  Their lives will be wonderfully impacted by my love, time and influence.

    As it relates to Influence, God intends for me to lead on a large scale and stage.  I will communicate encouragement, development and opportunity to people of diverse backgrounds. The marketplace is the arena in which He intends for me to have impact.  I see myself expanding that influence through speaking, writing, teaching and one-to-one mentoring.  I also see Epic Living as the organization focused on developing and reproducing people of influence within the public and private sector.

    My physical and mental health will be strong due to the conscious choices I will make.  I see a long an vibrant life ahead as God allows.

    I see my finances reflecting strength, knowledge and wisdom.  I will make decisions that are investor-minded versus consumer-minded.

    In His church and community, I will minister to individuals and groups by the same methods above.  My key focus areas are influence development and personal growth.  God will also use me as source of encouragement to all I encounter.

  • 30 minutes of silence to listen to God
  • Two dates per month with Eileen
  • Incorporate Yoga into my exercise plan
  • Network on behalf of job seekers in my community
  • Execute on a “stop doing list”
  • Look into natural resources investments
  • Complete second book

My vision and growth plan have more elements than what I've listed, but I wanted to give this to you as source of "example."  I hope it will stir you.