Courage is following Your path, even though the odds favor failure. It is unwavering, even when a decision seems to make no sense.
Careful consideration is needed when living in an age of surrender and compromise.
The Balance Between Success and Failure
I strive every day to strike a good balance between success and failure.This TED Talk with Elizabeth Gilbert illustrates my striving beautifully.
The following quote from the speech is riveting:
“I had to find a way to make sure that my creativity survived its own success.”.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
In an age that values creativity less and less, we do need to protect it fiercely.
You’re Crazy, Eric
Many times over the last ten years I’ve been called crazy. What exactly does that mean? I mean, “you’re crazy, Eric.” I believe it was code for “what if you fail?”
I’ve made it a point to learn how to read communication of the non-verbal variety. It has helped me cut through the fog and certainly the BS. By the way, you can apply this to yourself personally. I’ve created a lot of fog and BS in my own head before. Whenever I’ve been called crazy, it often has spurred me on. Almost like treasure map with clues. Imagine, “when you hear this, do that.”
Not every bet pays off. We all would do well to remember that the “house” is called the house for a reason. Even so, a little craziness, a little chaos is essential to moving to a life worth living. In my experience, I would never have taken the risks I’ve taken without those twins. I would have hidden behind my citadel and played it safe. Craziness and chaos forced me into a path that hurt, and created in me an Epic Life. A strange dichotomy, I know.
On those nights when I’d awaken at 2 AM, and wonder if I really had lost my mind, there was always his voice saying keep going…just keep going. This is important. You are going to encounter a dismantling during your steps, it is inevitable. Don’t believe the crowd or your own doubts when you wonder if you have lost your mind. Finding life over the sun might be the most challenging pursuit you’ll ever undertake.
Here are some reasons why I advocate the beauty of crazy:
- Those who are not crazy are typically medicated and just wanting relief from a life that has no meaning at all
- If you walk away from your craziness, you’ll find no one willing to follow
- Maybe you’ve seen this clip? It strikes a good chord here
- If you haven’t gotten into the habit of taking risks, time will rob you of that desire, and time doesn’t give refunds. Start small and start now
- No one has truly lost by being crazy. People who live their lives to hide are the losers
I am thankful for the craziness.
No Promises
We would have been better off hearing early on in our adult lives that there are no promises given in life and work. Some of you might be thinking I deserve the "duh" award about now. But isn't it ironic how often we hear and throw around promises. Often this happens without any thought at all.
What if we heard something like the following:
"No promises here, just the opportunity to get up after falling down and to try again."
Maybe not the cure-all, but certainly clear and based in reality.
In America, we're so obsessed with success and winning that we tend to run from the "loss" like the plague. What exactly do we learn when we succeed? Much I hope, but if we're honest we just want it to keep going. In our time many of those successes are hollow and unfulfilling. So sad, since a fulfilling win can only come after the bitter taste of failure.
We can't change the past (yesterday), so let's get on with it. You should not expect that every road leads to the dreams in your head. Follow your gut and be prepared to course correct. So many give up because they wanted life just as they desired. They fail to realize that it takes a lot of pain and disappointment to birth a dream come true. Eyes wide open here, ladies and gentlemen.
The following is a list of promises I've been willing to put all of myself into. But first understand, I made a decision some time ago that I would allow myself to be vulnerable and accept the risk inherent. Vulnerability and risk come together to open the door to happiness. Even with that, I've been hurt in all of these areas.
- The type of promises given to me by God.
- The marriage promise from my wife.
- The promises from friends like Rick, Marc, Terry, Steve, Jim, and Robert.
- Generally promises that come from people I meet for the first time, but I always manage those with verification in-mind.
- The type that come from my children. Verification is important here, but more importantly, they need to understand that I believe in them.
Seth Godin on Risk and Failure
This interview with Seth Godin will encourage you to try and fail.
Are you in a workplace where taking a risk and failing are frowned upon? Do you frown upon it yourself? Why not begin a small experiment today with risk and failure? It could liberate you.
In the interview Seth gives some good examples of what a small experiment might look like. The following are my suggestions:
- Interact with a client in a different way. Make a surprise visit to their office and engage with the receptionist and no one else.
- Sign up for a cooking class, even if you see yourself as a lousy cook.
- Try something that your kids are good at, but you're not.
- Suggest a unique place for a work retreat. Like this spot.
- Introduce yourself to someone you've never met at work, at school or in your neighborhood.
What Failure May Really Mean
There is no doubt that we here in America are success obsessed. In some ways it makes total sense. Everyone desires to see positive results from what we put our lives into. Not everyone measures it the same, but the desire remains. But in this frame, I'm focusing on the kind of success that we tie our self-worth and identity to. It is a problem-a big one.
I don't intend to unwrap the root cause of this success obsession. However, I want to point out how the problem blocks us from breakthroughs. Somewhere along the continuum, we bought some very expensive lies. For example, you understand what failure means in the land of of success obsession. It is to be avoided at all costs and you are to stay away from anything or anyone who has the unfortunate luck of experiencing it. This is a big mistake to make because the road to breakthrough is paved, in part, by failure.
What if failure is a house of experiements? What if failure is a refining fire for character and integrity? What if no true success can come without a significant amount of failure? I see great value in experiments, integrity and true success. This column from Sir James Dyson really sets a good tone on this.