Tag: fears

What I’ve Really Learned Most From Worry

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Worry In Life’s Classroom:

In my last post, there was only a title and a blank page. In a clever (so I thought) way I wanted to communicate that worry has taught me nothing. This is not entirely true.

In the end, worry has truly been a horrible teacher. If worry were a class, seminar or talk, I would go the other way. Alas, worry has been the cause of so much of my mental stress. I don’t like to think about how much of my lifetime has been sucked away by it.

In many ways worry is like fear, it must be managed. The discipline is a daily activity. Life happens and the elements are what they are. In the age of the Monkey Mind, so much comes at us. Here are some examples from my yesterday:

  • My son’s physical condition is unstable again
  • Did the audience get what I was writing
  • Why is that issue such a big deal to them, when it’s not me
  • Will the report reveal something I don’t want to know
  • I feel like I’m being manipulated

I could go on, but I think you get it. So, how did I manage those animals. It’s a blend of preparation and in-the-moment actions. The preparation comes in slowing down, practicing mindfulness daily, seeking God’s face, and knowing that life is not supposed to be easy. The “in-the-moment” actions are born out of emotional intelligence. The understanding that not every emotion and thought is to be held on to. An active letting go is key here. Absent of these, I would be a wreck.

Everyone has difficulties at work, tensions at home, disappointing health news, are all going to happen. You should expect the what comes your way because it will. America is ripe of people trying to numb and medicate their way around. The numb and medicate approach only makes it worse, for you and those around you. We were designed to go through, not around our potential worries. If you mange your worries, you will lead to a contented life.

The Fears

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Many of us walk through life posing as brave. This form of brave is not found in daring acts, but in silence and distraction. Think of it as the guy or gal sitting next to you who always seems busy and doesn’t say much, even when they use many words.

America has made it easy to be controlled by our fears. We’re always in a hurry and very rarely go beyond the surface.

The fears are those foreboding events that are highly unlikely to come to pass, but in your head you’re convinced they will.

Maybe you’re fighting, or surrendering to the following:

  • Insecurities have you convinced that you are not worth the success that is rightfully yours
  • You’ve made career an idol and the prospect of failure cripples you from taking risk
  • You’re addicted to something or someone. This is not love or true need. It’s a poor substitute causes fools you into believing a lie
  • You believe every thought and emotion is worthy of your deep attention
  • Like everyone else, you’ve been hurt, so you given up

I throw out the above to let you know that fears are rooted in untruth and in many ways you lose your freedom when you give into them. I also get why we have so many fears; there is a true absence of authentic love and we know it. As I am trekking through my journey, I am focused on God’s love and truth for me. This is essential because I can’t figure out this mad world and my fears are always knocking at the door.

I also fight, and I fight hard. That’s the only proven strategy, after getting the God-part in place.Life is not designed for the timid and the victim. If you haven’t noticed lately, life is tough.

What Do You Fear?

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If you're like me, my fears are ever present. This is not a confession that I live in daily fear, just a confession that, like you, I do battle with them. Part of the human condition I suppose. I wish more people would be willing to do battle in this area. Fears are so paralyzing.

The trick or method is not giving into our fears. Easy for me to write, eh?

Well, consider this reality from my life. I had a nightmare a few months ago where I was at the end of my life. I knew I was at the end because someone was with me in a waiting room representing God. He told me he was sad to tell me that I had missed my destiny. I began to cry.

Fast-forward and I wake from the dream, or nightmare in my mind, and in that early morning I feel panic. I start to wonder if I'm on the wrong track, I start to question what I've accomplished, I start to think I'm running out of time.

Fears.

Those fears still come to visit me from time to time. But when I remember the following, I don't give in:

  • I have done more in my life than my background would suggest I would.
  • I have been blessed to touch people with the written word (book and otherwise).
  • I have been asked to tell my story for the benefit of others.

I write all this, not as a feel-good-about-myself moment, but to illustrate truth. Truth that I can verify and truth that is a weapon against a fear that is false. But like you, I have to stop, breathe and remind myself of, again, what is true.

Reminding one-self of the truth is a good thing.