Tag: happy

What Are You Counting On?

What are you counting on? A simple and straightforward question. It reveals more about you and I than meets the mind.

The things we’re counting on reveal our identity.

Maybe you’re counting on someone to make you happy. Maybe your counting on that quarterly bonus. Regardless, these things shape our identity without notice. A subtle defining that happens slowly over time. Identity should be formed by the immovable or at a minimum something we’re willing to stake the risk on.

Here’s a brief list of what I’m counting on:

  1. God’s understanding
  2. My wife’s commitment
  3. My children’s love
  4. Friendship of a few
  5. Solitude

As you can see from my list, there are some things that could fail me. I don’t mind because I’m willing to take the risk. And oh, the heart-break that could ensue just the same. This is living.

Don’t count on what is fleeting and temporal. Marketing often bugs us to the contrary, but that’s just selling something we really don’t need.

5 Questions with Master DDnard, Author of The Compass of Now

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I’m so pleased today to share my conversation with Master DDnard, author of The Compass of Now. Her insights into keeping yourself in the moment truly inspired. Master DDnard will help you to remember that life is well lived in the moment.

 

What do you think is the greatest block to personal happiness?

Too much searching and not knowing how and when to stop. When your mind is reaching out, you can’t be happy. You can only try to find something or someone with the hope that they will make you happy. Happiness is very shy, it manifests when you stop searching and start feeling. Joy is always there whenever you want, just smile to yourself and be happy anytime, anywhere.

Many are running their lives at break-neck speed. What advice would you give to those who have a longing to be in the now?

Be in the now while running. Since you are good at multi-tasking and being a high achiever, no matter how fast you run, just set the compass in your mind to always come back to your body and mind whenever you can remember. Start now while you are reading this, and smile to yourself. Now you are in the here and now.

It helps to remember to come back to your breathing and body movement as an anchor for your mindfulness.

What inspired you to write The Compass of Now?

When my husband passed away while my son was only eleven months old and left us with $3 million USD not in cash but in debt, I was taken out of grief and fear by just a few words of someone I hardly knew. I knew since then that when everything seems so dark, words can lighten up our days. So I wrote The Compass of Now for everyone who knows how important it is to have a positive spirit because our circumstances are the reflection of our inner states.

In the book you state that parents can teach their children through good deeds. Is this a case of influencing through how we act, versus only what we say?

Both what we say and act matters. Words are very powerful, especially with children. You can’t just be a good provider and a hard-working parent without expressing your love, care and understanding if you want your child to be happy growing up.

We show our children how we react to things, what we say and do, how we contribute, how we do business, and it sinks into our children’s minds.

Is it ever okay to be unhappy?

Yes, but not for too long. You may get the habit of it. So allow yourself to be unhappy for a short time and then say to yourself: “Time’s up- it’s time to be happy and enjoy the best life brings.” Also, don’t forget to look for the good things in disguise.

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Master DDnard is a renowned spiritual teacher and best-selling author of the Compass book series, including The Compass of Now.

DDNard also conducts her charitable Compass Meditation Retreats four times a year at a mountain resort in Thailand, where hundreds of participants come to meditate and everything is paid for by her special charity fund. She also conducts free Happiness Compass Seminars four times a year.

Today she leads a quiet life on the beautiful river bank of Bangpakong, Thailand, meditating, gardening and playing with her son.has been invited to give her insights on hundreds of TV shows, magazines, and organizations.

 

Five Questions with Amy Shea, Author of Defending Happiness

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Had the pleasure of conducting this interview with Amy Shea, author of Defending Happiness. Love her insights and the experiences that forged them.

Why do we need to defend happiness?

We need to defend our happiness from the idea that it's dispensable. We not only put it last, but we eliminate it from our daily life. We save it up for vacation. And we blame and complain that we have all these responsibilities, these things that have to be done first. Yet, if we examine those things we are putting in its place, so often they are tied to an ideal of what life is supposed to look like, what we are supposed to be doing. Remember in Star Trek, when an episode would open up with the team in the transporter room, ready to beam down to the supposedly-docile planet? Whenever you saw a new guy you didn't recognize on the team you knew two things: a) there was going to be trouble, and b) he was going to be the first to go. That new guy is happiness. It's the first to go when there's trouble. Yet when we have trouble, that's when we need it most.

Is happiness a choice?

Yes. And it's sometimes a hard choice. No one is happy when hard and difficult things happen. And the last thing I am suggesting is positive thinking–I don't believe in that. It's denial of what is.  I believe in seeing what is, and seeing the value in what is. When I got breast cancer, my world, as I knew it, stopped. And that experience was not one sided. Was it a gun to my chest? You bet. But it also stamped an expiration date on my consciousness, and I was more present, laughed harder, and stopped making unimportant things so important. And THAT'S the choice: not what happens, but how to show up in what happens, how to live with a full consciousness instead of one that is but a limited perception of what happiness is supposed to look like. Breast cancer taught me that, though as a strategy I would not recommend it. 

You’re very transparent in your book, Defending Happiness. Was it difficult to be so open?

Not at all. I'm not ashamed of being human, and I think being human is hilarious. And I love to laugh, especially with others. I think pretending we are perfect is toxic–to us, our relationships, and our world. It is the most isolating thing we do as humans.  

What advice would you give to the person waiting for happiness to pay them a visit?

Hit the road. Go find it. Happiness is not a furry puppy that's going to climb up into your lap. Going after what makes you happy is going to mean disturbance. At the very least, it's going to disturb the habitual life. It may disturb those who are accustomed to you doing what they want, what makes them happy. It may mean you make less money, have fewer things. But whatever disturbance you encounter, you will be here, you will have shown up in your own life.  

Do you think there is a connection between contentment and happiness? 

Yes, if you can find contentment in being yourself and contributing from that place. To me, happiness is the peace found in being completely present in one's life, even as one faces all that life is–that amazing feeling of being awake. It is to have lived. I wouldn't trade it for anything of this world. 

 

How to Choose Happiness

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How to choose happiness may seem strange to you. Many times we look at happiness as a feeling that comes and goes. And that certainly is a part of how happiness shows up, but there is more.

I'm living proof that happiness is often a choice. It is a choice in the moments.

My statement above is not one designed to give you the impression that I am superior or more with it than you. I'm not, I just discovered a secret that's not a secret at all. Here's how it works:

Value the moments of each and every day. Really value the moments. Once you've done this you'll realize two significant things:

  1. Life is brief.
  2. You don't have time to waste.

When we REALIZE that life is brief and we don't have time to waste. Things begin to turn.

A word of caution here, there will be days of sadness and unhappiness. Don't try to be the annoying positive thinker who pretends that everything is great. Sometimes we all have to do time in the dark seas. It's ok, just don't linger beyond the time necessary. Only you and God knows how long that is.

The great thing about choosing happiness is you'll become those choices. That's a beautiful place, a beautiful place indeed.