I know it may seem strange that my dog, Bob Marley, would be my source of inspiration and reflection. I’m a dog lover and have been for most of my life. This little guy is seven and has been ill the last month or so. It’s the first time we’ve dealt with major sickness in the time we’ve had him. It caught my family by surprise.
The surprise was found in the nature of a first time, but it also caught me taking his constant companionship for granted. I’ll confess that I always thought of him as a constant, constant as the earth I walked on everyday. I know better.
As Bob Marley has been recovering (too soon to say full recovery), he reminds me everyday that now is what is constant. Epic living is found in that statement. There’s a chance you’re thinking that you’ve heard this story before. More flip advice from a world full of lists and how-to formulas. Maybe so, but ask yourself when you last said thank you for the following:
The breath of life
Your family (immediate)
Your luck
Your work (not your employer in this example)
People who helped you get to where you’re at
Friends who stuck with you when things got ugly
Your health
I’m advocating the now because it breeds a constant state of thankfulness. Discovering thankfulness when it’s too late is painful and ripe of regret. You can start now, right now, if you want to.
The first time ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave To the dark and the endless skies, my love To the dark and the endless skies
And the first time ever I kissed your mouth I felt the earth move in my hands Like the trembling heart of a captive bird That was there at my command, my love That was there at my command, my love
And the first time ever I lay with you I felt your heart so close to mine And I knew our joy would fill the earth And last till the end of time, my love And it will last till the end of time, my love
The first time ever I saw your face, your face Your face, your face
You may or may not recall the above classic, written by Ewan McColl. The lyrics are moving. I recently purchased George Michael’s Symphonica compilation. He performs a version. It is truly beautiful and it got me thinking.
What if happiness is pursuing us?
There’s no doubt in those lyrics we find someone moved and happy. I can relate. In my mind, happiness calls out saying; “hey Eric, I’m here.” Funny how in a given day we can ignore this quiet voice. We’ve arrived in a time of ignoring. Trading so much for accumulation, power and applause. Yet most say happiness is the thing missing most.
As it has been many times in my life, I’ve decided to go the other way. Tonight, I asked my wife, as the song inspired me, to recall a time when she was happy with me. We recalled times, places and feelings. I’ve been married close to 23 years and it feels like yesterday. What blows my mind, is how I found myself agreeing with George Michael’s voice in the song. I found myself repeating, “he’s right, it did, and does, feel as he describes.”
I’ve missed some things over my span. Some of those things were large and some small, but the dance of life finds me here and I now recognize the voice of happiness. Better yet, I know I need to respond to that voice. Not many things are as important.
Proud swagger out of the school yard
Waiting for the world’s applause
Rebel without a conscience
Martyr without a causeStatic on your frequency
Electrical storm in your veins
Raging at unreachable glory
Straining at invisible chains
And now you’re trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Can’t face life on a razor’s edge
Nothing’s what you thought it would be
All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
All of us do time in the gutter
Dreamers turn to look at the cars
Turn around and turn around and turn around
Turn around and walk the razor’s edge
Don’t turn your back
And slam the door on me
It’s not as if this barricade
Blocks the only road
It’s not as if you’re all alone
In wanting to explode
Someone set a bad example
Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior
Who lost the will to fight
And now you’re trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Done with life on a razor’s edge
Nothing’s what you thought it would be
No hero in your tragedy
No daring in your escape
No salutes for your surrender
Nothing noble in your fate
Christ, what have you done?
My friend, Marc, shared this performance by Carlos Santana and Wayne Shorter with me and it truly inspired. Instrumental music has always created space in my head to dream, write and most importantly live freely. The genre of jazz has always struck me as a living music as well. The movement, the improvisation, the unexpected beauty.
When I got the email regarding Dr. Norman Rosenthal and his new book, The Gift of Adverstiy: The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections, I was intrigued by the title of the book and his story. Dr. Rosenthal's background, and his coming of age in the Apatheid era of South Africa, are powerful introductions to someone who has faced many depths of adversity. As I look back on my own journey I am convinced that adversity is a gift.
I hope you'll be inspired by the following interview I had the pleasure of doing with Dr. Rosenthal:
Your experiences are vast and diverse. What do you
want the reader to walk away with after reading the book?
I
want the reader to come away with a sense of hope that although adversities are
unwanted and sometimes painful and even disabling, whether they are large or
small, there are often ways out of those dark places and, most important,
lessons to be gained from the journey. Those are the gifts of adversity.
What’s
different about people who accept and work thru the gift of adversity?
People
who are willing to accept reality are ahead of the game-as opposed to those
who deny reality and resort to fantasy. They will assess their situation,
reach out for help and support, and find ways to overcome, and learn from,
adversity. The book offers many specific guidelines as to how to do so.
In your book, you detail the challenges of growing up
in the Apartheid era in South Africa. How did that shape your perspective on
seeing adversity as a gift?
Apartheid
brought with it a great deal of adversity, especially for the Blacks who
labored most under its yoke. Adversity was everywhere in evidence, and I
specifically deal with it, for example, by discussing the lives of the servants
who worked for my family and the torture experienced by a cousin of mine. But the whites also suffered from the guilt of watching and often taking
no action.
What
role does arrogance play in a person’s ability to consider or handle adversity?
An
arrogant person takes on a position of superiority in relation to others. He is unlikely to learn from mistakes because he doesn't acknowledge his
mistakes. Humble people are more likely to learn and grow from adversity. In one chapter I discuss how it is important to learn something from
everyone.
Who’s
inspiring you right now?
My
patients always inspire me by the courage with which they embrace their
problems and the creativity with which they work around them to live rich and
diverse lives. Kind people inspire me. I see kindness every day,
and it warms my heart.
In The
Gift of Adversity by Dr. Normal Rosenthal, the noted research psychiatrist
explores how life's disappointments and difficulties provide us with the
lessons we need to become better, bigger, and more resilient human beings. The
book is available for purchase on Amazon.com
About Dr. Norman Rosenthal
The New York
Times-bestselling author of Transcendence:
Healing and Transformation through Transcendental Meditation, Winter Blues and How to Beat Jet Lag, Norman
E. Rosenthal, M.D., attended the University of the Witwatersrand in his
native South Africa. He moved to the United States and was resident and chief
resident at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital and the New York Psychiatric Institute.
He has conducted research at the National Institute of Mental Health for over
twenty years. It was there that he first described and diagnosed Seasonal
Affective Disorder (SAD). Dr. Rosenthal is a clinical professor of psychiatry
at Georgetown Medical School and has maintained a private practice in the
Washington, DC metropolitan area for the past thirty years. Rosenthal is the
author or co-author of over 200 professional articles and several popular
books, including Winter Blues, the classic work on SAD. He currently serves as
medical director and CEO of Capital Clinical Research Associates in Rockville,
Maryland, where he directs clinical trials in both pharmaceuticals and
complementary and alternative medicine.
Celebrating the best of the Epic Living Blog, 2012. Enjoy!
This is a photo taken of me and Marion Margolis. We met on my visit to NYC last weekend. Marion was very kind to my wife and I on our visit. A seemingly accidental meeting as we were taking in the beauty of Central Park. The photo above was shot in Central Park West.
Marion is an author (among many things). She is a writer of 3 children's books. The one that intrigued me most was titled New Digs for Beau, about her beloved Dalmatian. She spoke fondly, with emphasis, about the her relationship with this special dog named Beau. I don't know if she knew how I was reveling in our conversation. It was so strange and familiar all together. This was important as I am making my way through a new chapter in life, and as I craft a second book.
I asked her about her inspirations and what her process for writing was like. Marion likes silence, I like music when writing. Two authors connecting on the process of writing. It's always intriguing to learn what sparks creativity in artists. She truly inspired me.
Ever been to a place out of a dream that lived out like that dream? That's what my meeting Marion was like. It was like I was invited to participate in something beyond what I could have imagined. All of this and more, in a place called Central Park West.
When I found my whole life, I began finding inspiration in places I didn't expect. I found inspiration in places that I had little time for in my hectic corporate days. By the way, I was afraid too. That always keeps you from what's best.
The following is a brief list of places I've found inspiration:
I found this article yesterday, which is a profile of Jack Dorsey. Jack is well-known for founding Twitter and Square. He's a good example of finding inspiration and being fearless in doing it. I hope you enjoy the piece as much as I did.
The answer to those two questions will lead to a breakthrough. If a breakthrough is what you want. Some do hide in order to not deal with the pain and struggle associated.
The first step in dealing with intimidation is to face it or whom. Think of it as you closing a chapter for good. You can be certain that intimidation is a block and will always be a block. Forget the fear because fear is a false evidence appearing real. It is a trick to keep you right where you're at.
The first step in dealing with inspiration is finding it or whom and then never letting go.
All of those listed are doing multiple things inside me in this current frame. I created the list to show my gratitude. I sense they probably don't even know the impact given.
