Tag: Leadership

Changing People

I've never been able to change one person in my entire life.

I've been told by men and women greater than me, that trying to change people is a road to futility. You might be able to create conditions where someone might want to change. Life could make an impromptu appearance and crush someone to a point where they see no other way but to change. In the end change resides inside each and every one of us. Inside is the keyword here.

So what's with organizations trying to change people?

Organizations can become enamored with their own marketing and brand appearance, not to mention their profit engine. Just like someone who is told repeatedly how great they are. Here that often enough and some will think greatness is theirs. The next-door neighbor to arrogance is power and both work to will over people. It's really a facade, but these types of groups force and intimidate. Like walking a dog that doesn't want to go, they just pull them anyway and can't see the folly of dragging.

So are you in the business of changing people?

Maybe we'd get more if we just started looking at our people as they truly are and then realign, remove, restructure so that the band is playing together and in-tune. This is a courage-based endeavor that few leaders have a stomach for.

Find the courage.

My Entrepreneur Path and My Son

Father and son

I've chronicled some of my struggles with the entrepreneur path before, but this post is about the often forgotten beauty of it.

My son is the benefactor here. He was born in the midst of my runnings in the corporate world. He was 4 1/2 when I left. He probably doesn't remember much about the type of man I was in those years of tossing and turning. His reference point of me is during the entrepreneur years. He may have gotten some insight into what running a business looks like. But the following is what I pray he caught:

  • The applause and opinion of others is really not important.
  • Perseverance is essential to living.
  • Love matters more than anything else. Anything else.
  • Hope springs from going through tough times.
  • My time and touch do matter.

I can't be certain (at least not now) if he has embraced the above list. But it's what I've modeled over the last 6 years-on purpose and by accident. And as I will certainly face times ahead where I will wonder if this path I've chosen is worth it, I will know he is.

The Role of the Corporate Rebel

You may not know this, but I once was a corporate rebel.  A mostly associate that term with Lois Kelly, the person I first heard and connected the idea with.  I'll get to Lois's work in second. 

I was the guy who would get on top of filing cabinets (I'm not kidding) and protest bureaucratic processes and meaningless rules that hurt clients and employees.  Needless to say I had a reputation.  In many ways it's a miracle I lasted as long as I did in that world.  The main point is about heart motivated action to change things for the better.

I didn't work for companies that appreciated rebels.  I'm certain I was tolerated because of my knack or ability to make money for the organization.  Rebels were a threat culturally.  Rebels saw what many preferred to ignore, either for convenience or fear.  This is quite ironic since rebels (at those with integrity) really seek the organizations well-being.

Alas, my story leads into an even better one.  Lois Kelly has done a lot of good work for quite some time.  I think she's brilliant.  You can get to know her and her work better here.  But take a look at the following story and background for her take on the corporate rebel and why they should be embraced, not shunned.  Here's to all the corporate rebels out there.

 

Corporate rebel ebook

View more presentations from Lois Kelly

 

Trust Built on Pain

Have you used your experiences with pain (heartache, disappointment, failure) to build trust with your followers?  Do they know where you've hurt?

As crazy as it may seem, it's our experiences with pain that build trust.

It's the "I don't have to look over my shoulder" variety.  So many people/clients/organizations are searching for this even if they don't know it.

Show them the way.

How Management Could Improve Organizational Well-Being

Da Vinci Whole 
As we at Epic Living do more work in the well-being arena, it's important to set the table around the importance of management's role in making well-being a reality.  I won't spend a ton of time explaining the need for managers to understand when to put the leadership hat on.  You can look at this post I wrote a few years ago to get my thoughts on that.  The reality is most managers have abdicated well-being to HR and the company's benefit offerings.  As well-intentioned as that may be, it leaves much to be desired in practical application.

Management is looked to for direction and pace (how fast or slow should we be moving).  That implies a great deal of influence over a number of people.  As I'm sure you're getting by now, management is more than checking off tasks on a list.  One area of huge importance is the well-being of the employees.  For example, how well do your people handle stress?  And how is that stress impacting the customer?

Let me be clear, it's not the responsibility of a manager to make sure their employees are managing stress well or that employees manage their lives well for that matter.  But they can play a part in influencing a balanced approach to well-being.  You may wonder why the manager should care?  It's pretty simple, those that manage their lives well will always outperform those that don't.  So, the manager should be a champion/cheerleader of well-being in their organization.  A true win-win proposition for the organization and the employees.

The following are some recommendations for management around encouraging an environment of well-being:

  1. Do engage with employees in a way that allows them to manage their well-being in their own way.  Management should not dictate and take a "take it or leave it" approach.
  2. Do consider the "whole" life and not just those that allow management to stay in an imaginary comfort zone.
  3. Do learn how to manage people from a perspective of diversity.
  4. Do focus on making your engagement about the employee and not about what you'll get by offering the resource(s).
  5. Do be committed to well-being as a long-term process and not a one-time event.

Career Fear Factor

3 Headed Dog 

 

"You are caught by what you are running from." – Sam Keen

 

Does losing your job or not finding a job scare you?  For many, the answer would be yes.  Now if it’s just a passing thought don’t pass out.  I'm speaking of preoccupation and consistent fear.  Most people have, at one time or another, considered the reality.  In 2011 the reality of this type of change is real-for better or worse.  But do you manage your career and life around that fear? 

 

I’ve seen leaders make decisions because they were calculating the most foreboding scenarios.  The great fear of job loss controls their every move.  This motivation produces mediocre results, and even worse, an absence of credibility with those that follow.  And since leaders who hold high positions of power are human, they lead by fear and hope for the best.  Sadly, many leaders and managers infect the very people they're supposed to help.  So what was once a singular issue is now organizational.

 

Human beings are skilled at setting up their own kingdoms…complete with impregnable walls and barbed wire fences.  We think we're in control.  The higher an individual climbs in their respective organization, the more tempting it will become to try to control everything.  That’s why organizations are “certifiable” for not catching their people early in the process.  For example, teaching them about holistic leadership and the danger fear-based living presents.

 

If you desire something great (something that leaves you, your family, other people, and your health intact) from a career, then you’re gonna have to risk.  Maybe even risk that very career you're hold onto so tightly.  I'm a much better human being, leader, entrepreneur because of the risks I've taken.  The risks have not always worked out in my favor, but there is no way I would have become what I am without those risks.

 

Better to get ahead of your fears, before they claim you.

The DNA Seminar

Human eye 
The following is an updated post I wrote a few years ago.  Subject matter is still relevant and the problem is still pervasive.  Leaders/managers hear the bell.

A friend of my wife's lost his job this past Monday.  It was done in the name of saving costs.  Yes, at one time or the other you're a cost.  No promises, right?  It's a tough situation that is only made worse by organizations who make lots of promises.

Funny thing is the group he worked in was just started a year ago.  How can you know in twelve months whether something will fly? 

So what to do when Mommy and Daddy fly?  Sorry for the flippant reaction, but this guy just moved here from the west.  Why not use some candor and tell the employees that the organization isn't sure about the prospects and it may not go the way of success?  Two faces are the issue here.  And before you think I'm conjuring this stuff up, please know I've delivered the "two-faced" speech in my former corporate management life.  It went something like this; one face was in the room with management stating we'll let them go if the unit oesn't meet targets (usually unrealistic).  Another face was in front of the employees stating how the future was bright.

I write this post today to communicate something simple, yet complex.  Every leader who has human beings following them should be required to attend an all-day seminar on the marvels of human DNA.  If I were conducting the seminar I would say the following at its conclusion:

"After today think long and hard about who follows you.  And when you make your plans think about the implications-they're real and worth your consideration."

You can read here about some of the dynamics of our DNA.

The Problem With Talking Points

Talking Points 

Many years ago, some of my colleagues and I would joke about various talking points executed in the oh-so many meetings we attended.  What was ever striking about those talking points was the lack of conviction and sincerity.

So why the problem?

At some level we crossed over the line of danger when it comes to our words-spoken and written.  So much so, that many inside of organizations, families, churches, communities, and governments are jaded.  We've blurred the picture of what is real and what is fiction.  Regrettable leaders now feel comfortable using words in truth and lie.  They see this time as one meant for convenience and opportunity. 

Is there hope here?

The short answer is yes.  But the following needs to be adopted:

  1. Stop ceding your voice to those who think they're smarter than you.  Often-times they're not and should never be given the power to smother you.  It's a basic human thing that is bigger than a position, a title or career security.
  2. Stop allowing fame and fortune to cause you to turn the ether on.  The courageous and integrity driven folks are often never on Oprah.  But if we only see fame and fortune as valid, how will we recognize the "real" and authentic?
  3. Stop living someone else's life.  I wear a size 40 jacket, you wear a size 42, so why should you try wearing my jacket?  Your size is what you were meant to wear.  And by the way you'll be happier.
  4. Stop listening to the negative voices in your head.  Specifically, the type that cause you to run and hide.  Negative voices are inherently evil.
  5. Start demanding honesty from those that lead you, serve you or ask you for your money.  You're worth it!

Managing Your Life Can Lead To Unexpected Breakthroughs

March 2011 007 

In our lives it can be easy to have unrealistic expectations for results.  Especially, if we're coming out of something we hated or something that was a bad habit.  I know this from my own experiences.

Think of the negotiations you have with yourself.  For example, "I need to get to work, so the workout will have to wait today.  Besides, I'm under a lot of pressure to hit my numbers this quarter."  If you repeat this scenrio often enough you can convince yourself that tomorrow never comes.  I did.  It has taken me a long time to respect my life as the most important thing.  When you do this you realize that all facets of your life warrant your attention and care.

The point of my post today is what happened to me on an impromptu day-trip with my wife.  We decided to have lunch at a great inn and go hiking afterwards.  The weather was great, as evidenced by the picture in my post, and we were expecting a wonderful time together.

The owner of the inn, Ellen, who we've know for some time, visited with us.  I had a chance to tell her about our new experience, Take Time for Your Life.  We connected immediately, my wife said some wonderful things about me and I'm confident we'll be able to help Ellen and her followers in a meaningful way.

My wife and I proceeded to take our hike after lunch and talked.  Some about the beauty of the surroundings, some about the business opportunity with Ellen and some laughter.  The hike got our heart rates up and we enjoyed each other's company.

So what does this have to do with managing your life?

The wheel of life below illustrates 8 areas of life.  Which of them did I manage today?

Wheel of Life