learning Archives - Epic Living

Perspective

18 June 2018June 18, 2018Eric

I gave a talk recently to a group of students at Tech Elevator. Soon I’ll have some footage for you, but this post is about perspective. The kind of perspective found in pouring out into those students in a way that left me in awe. When you look back on what you’ve learned, and what makes you thankful, it leaves you humble. Here’s a conclusion I came to today:

If I achieve nothing else from this point forward, I have learned and been blessed in a way that is beyond what I could have expected.

During the talk with those students, I helped them with a process of looking back for perspective. It was designed to give them reference points for a tough journey ahead. Often, we go into storms with no account of what we can handle. It’s as if we just react to whatever comes our way. Sometimes this works out, sometimes we’re left exposed. Please understand:

Storms are as normal, and frequent, as sun and good times.

Here are some key opportunities you can take away from looking back for perspective:

Looking back for perspective shows you’ve learned some things. This, of course, is dependent on you giving yourself a break and claiming the learning
Looking back for perspective is a strength-building exercise. It builds in you a sense of what you can handle and what you can persevere through. You’ll need this when it’s dark
Looking back for perspective allows you to see other people as they truly are. You might find they’re not as bad or as great as you once thought
Looking back for perspective, if done regularly, helps you take responsibility for your choices.
Looking back for perspective creates a spirit of gratitude, and gratitude will take you to good places

Reach out to me directly if you would like more.

What I’ve Learned Most From Worry

26 February 2016February 26, 2016Eric

I Don’t Know

21 April 2015April 20, 2015Eric

It’s clear we like to know where we’re going. The idea of mystery, question marks and pure unknowns disturbs us.

The statement of “I don’t know” can be liberating.

Many won’t go there. We’ve been duped into believing that we have control, can master anything we set our minds to, or there is a solution for every problem. Terry Walling once wrote that the best leaders know how to live with the questions. As tough as that is to swallow and live, I agree, from my own experience. There’s something about moving forward without an answer. There’s something inspiring about moving forward without knowing (exactly) where you’re going. I’ve had so many twists and turns over the last ten years, I’ve come to a peace about the dance. It is life.

In America and other parts of the world, we’re trying to keep the status quo and be innovative at the same time. It doesn’t work. We want to find talent, but we don’t want to get too close to our gut instincts. We want to give advice on employee wellbeing, but don’t want change the structure. Many organizations turn to data and technology to replace what only a human can do. It’s almost like a throwing up the hands approach. When the robots take over, then I’ll bow down to the alter of data. It’s really just a mask anyway, for those who can’t look into your soul, or their own. Data and technology is mostly a spice or flavoring. The human is the main ingredient. Always has, always will be.

Am I advocating dumping research into the cures for cancer or diabetes? Am I saying data won’t help the talent recruiter make better decisions? In no way do I believe that. However, anything used to make up for our intellectual laziness and discipline will only be a band-aid on a gunshot wound. I think we need more of doing what we know we need to do, instead of analyzing endless data/excuses.

Here’s how to start embracing your “I don’t know:”

Understand that being in a place where you don’t have an answer is not an indictment of your intelligence. Anyone who condemns you for your I don’t know is an insecure…you know the right words
Understand we live in the age of titles, certifications, etc., the truth is found in the pursuit and not an outcome with a label
I don’t know leads to knowing. It’s a sad irony how we miss the boat here. By the way, companies like Google are looking for this in the people they hire
A full and vibrant life is found in those able to embrace the unknown.
Surround yourself with people who are on a similar journey. It will keep you strong in a faux world

Situational Mentoring

20 February 2015February 18, 2015Eric

Higher Education Innovation

11 August 2014August 9, 2014Eric

A wonderful talk on innovation in higher education.

10 Reasons I Practice Yoga

4 February 2014February 4, 2014Eric

Yoga. There are so many benefits in practicing yoga, I could stop here and let you do your own research. But I won’t do that because I want to give you some insight into my experiences with yoga. Here are some random thoughts:

Yoga has improved my blood pressure
Yoga has help center me
Yoga has sharpened my focus on the personhood of God
Yoga has built my strength and flexibility
Yoga has quieted my obsessive mind
Yoga has helped my overall wellbeing
Yoga has played a major role in my epic living
Yoga has challenged me mentally, physically and spiritually
Yoga has helped me see the importance of nutrition
Yoga has become a habit

I am no where close to being a master of this art. I am, however evidence of the power that comes from practicing yoga. Talk to your doctor about the risks and rewards, then start slow.

The Looking Back Thing

22 August 2013August 22, 2013Eric

Looking back has tremendous value. I'm not referring to looking back with regret. Looking back with regret usually leads to mental paralysis. I'm speaking of looking back to gain perspective and clarity.

For me, a large part of the looking back thing is getting a sense of the notes God's been playing in the symphony of life. This has helped me be more aware of what the future could look like. My gut becomes centered around knowing what my next move should be. Here recently, the movement in that symphony tells me change is coming in my life.

Now before you think this is some overly spiritual pursuit or a complex riddle to solve, it can be very straightforward if you let it. For example, let's say your history in work has been most successful in large organizations. Maybe you've excelled there because of structure and well-established processes. Now, a new, smaller organization wants you to come on board and do your magic. Looking back will help you understand where you've performed best and what environments work best for you. It doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't work for a small organization because they're still forming, it just means looking back can inform you of where you perform best. It might even be a predictor of your success. I've had to make more than a few mistakes in this dept. to learn this.

The following are what I consider to be keys to the looking back thing:

Stay away from regret when looking back. You can't rewrite history, so no sense in lingering over what could have been. This is hard work and your wellbeing will be the better for it.
Be humble. Don't think of yourself as rock star. An inflated ego will always distort your view.
Look back to inform and keep record of it. Refer back to it often.
Don't look for guarantees. Be willing to make a mistake. Often, mistakes lead to breakthroughs.
Find someone or people to be a sounding board for what you're thinking.
Get a coach. It can help you clear the clutter and find the gold hidden.

Something the Boy Said

19 July 2013July 19, 2013Eric

Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

"I'll do better next time. No excuses"

–African–American Teen-Age Boy

My daughter started junior-high this year. It goes without saying, I'm not sure how she got to 13 so quick. Regardless, she decided to try cross country as a sport. I was a little concerned. She showed me that my concern was unfounded. The sport helped her in multiple ways and her team went undefeated. A good first year.

The story that I write about tonight revolves around a chance meeting and something a boy said to me.

At a meet a couple of weeks ago I met a boy who must have been 13. I didn't get his name. But he left a mark (see the quote above) on me. I wasn't expecting the response he gave. I only asked him how his race went.

"I will do better next next time. No excuses."

Those words still reverberate through my soul. We adults would do well to put his words into practice. It's clear we live in an age that carries many questions. Figuring out life can seem like a Rubik's Cube or trying to figure out some complex riddle. For many, life is not what was expected or wanted. We're like that person trying to open a door used to open, but now seems permanently stuck or locked.

This is not a post about a boy's response and how it can change everything. It is about a foundational principle that can carry you to figuring out much. Sort of like a star in the northern sky that confirms your position on a dark sea. It really gives you hope. In the end, you'll go further with this approach in your life, while leaving excuses to those that never really wanted to change anyway.

Life is difficult. The idea that it was supposed to be easy originated with the same folks who gave you the idea of "retirement." Not many will admit to easy, but humanly speaking, we tend to like things to go our way. No indictments here, just looking in the mirror (seeing me).

So what's with the african-american notation? I am always inspired when I meet someone who comes from my culture and wants to achieve through a timeless principle like responsibility-true responsibility. Far too often, the narrative speaks to a different approach. I'm not condemning anything here, I'm lifting something up, namely a young man's intention.

"I will do better next time. No excuses."

So what have I learned from that boy?

There is a next time, Lord willing.
Doing better next time implies that I made a mistake or failed in some way and I've earned the right to try again. It's OK.
My losses need to be in lights, just like my successes.
Failing to take responsibility (true responsibility) is akin to avoiding learning.
Reflection, wherever and whenever I embraced it, has been a faithful friend. Reflection gives you the opportunity to see what went right and what went wrong.

How about you?

The Unraveling

11 April 2013April 11, 2013Eric

Looking around you and your own life, do you see the unraveling?

We are like these garments that over time begin the process of unraveling. As years unfurl this is inevitable. It's not all bad because we can always do something about it. See a thread here, see a patch there, and all you have to do is start the repair.

I wonder how many people realize the unraveling is happening.

Unraveling rarely appears as a sudden tear. It's a slow process. Very slow…

5 Things I Haven’t Forgotten

28 January 2013January 28, 2013Eric

The following are 5 things I haven't forgotten along the way of my travels:

It will be my life that will be measured in eternity. God won't be spending 60% of his time with me asking about my career and money choices. It'll be a part of the conversation, just not as big as it often can be in this world.
Relationships are hard work. In America, we have this obsession with ease and pleasure. In some areas this is totally appropriate. In a relationship (you fill in the blank) ease and pleasure come as a result of the hard work. It's hard work because anything worth your time should require something big from you.
I can't fix or save anybody. All I can do is offer with encouragement and kindness. The choice to do something is totally out of my control. After watching many of my family members experience the affects of alcohol and drug abuse, I know this well.
Change is a part of life and you'd better be prepared to face ridicule for embracing it. I never had as much peace as when I was in the box that many had grown comfortable with. Some of this is people getting used to change, but the remainder is from the "crowd." I now understand that the two are intertwined.
I don't have to have all the answers.