Tag: life choices

Being Real

Being Real

In many ways being social is an open door to being real. Ever wonder why many don’t go that route? More and more, being social is an open door to being a fake.

The most prominent way of being social in 2014 is found online. We have portals like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn that are rooted in the idea of social networking. These tools give people the ability to tell their story. As you know, the motivations vary from job-hunting, PR, to show boating. Everyone has a voice.

So why aren’t we more real?

In time past (pre-social media), most of us were known by a limited audience. Usually, the span was friends, family and the people we went to school or worked with. This network usually found out about your stuff via phone or getting together in the flesh. In those situations you had a pretty small universe to shine. This probably kept us, for the most part, humble. And humility is what’s missing now.

“Marketing is a lie, so we can tell ourselves a lie, that we desperately want to believe.” – Author Unknown

Fast forward to the now and we have a completely different ball game. Now we’re obsessed by how many likes we get, how many followers we have or who’s in our network. All this for the sake of a lie. Many don’t even know it’s a lie. We’ve watered down truth so much, that we can’t tell the difference. Our endless pursuit of validation and success (defined by a culture in decline) rips apart truth, and the identity it reveals. I equate true identity to being real, no matter the cost. There is no bigger a lie than a life wearing a mask.

If you’re longing for more, then the crossroads is near to your view.

I find it amazing that the world is starving for the real and we stay fixated on the proposition. I’ve made this mistake:

  • Presenting my story the way I thought I should
  • Taking engagements because I thought it would make me more viable
  • Partnering with rock stars because I thought we stood for the same things
  • Being scared of what people might think
  • Trusting snakes disguised as angels

Being real is a risk-filled offer. After years of getting this down in my head and my heart, there is no other alternative. Risk is a very reasonable price to pay for such a pay-off as becoming the real thing. The most important part is you’ll start to venture into what lies over the sun. The activities of manipulating just to make a short-term gain, posing as someone you’re not and using people to move your needle will be exposed as a waste of time you don’t have.

Being real is the start of epic living.

 

What Big Data is Missing

What big data is missing is behavior change. Yep, good old fashioned behavior change.

I’m struck by the amount of data that companies like Google and SAP kind churn out. Even our friends at Facebook do a good job at this, though I question if it’s worth $19 billion. All of these entities, and more, are producing and analyzing data that can lead to disruptive innovation. A good thing all in all. Our world is changing rapidly because of this.

So why are we such a mess, when we have all of the data for just about anything under the sun?

Let me give you an example of what I mean. There’s tons of data confirming the dangers of distracted driving. Has there been a shift away from this type of behavior? According to the CDC, we have a problem. Do you find it ironic that we enough data to make an educated decision to not text (as one example) while driving, yet continue to do it? How about the amount of sleep we get, and don’t get. Dr. Qanta Ahmed, a sleep disorder specialist, at Winthrop University Sleep Disorders Center in New York City, suggests that Americans suffer from “sleep machismo.” Wall Street’s calling and we have to answer, be damn our mind and bodies.

So what do you do with this?

  • Make a decision and then manage it. John Maxwell is famous for advocating. A heart attack crystalized his understanding here
  • Be humble. Don’t think bad stuff only happens to the other guy or gal. It can and will happen to you. Arrogance is such an ugly thing
  • Have a healthy suspicion of data, research, etc. Do your homework and be fearless
  • Understand what’s important to you. My wife is second in my life, so if big data says communicating my feelings will strengthen our relationship, I’m going to do it
  • Life over the sun is where you need to be. People living there rarely take things for granted and are in the moment

I hope we don’t come to a crossroads where history stands laughing because we were not able to connect the dots between understanding and action. In some ways it appears we’ve already started down that road.

You’re Crazy, Eric

Steps

Many times over the last ten years I’ve been called crazy. What exactly does that mean? I mean, “you’re crazy, Eric.” I believe it was code for “what if you fail?”

I’ve made it a point to learn how to read communication of the non-verbal variety. It has helped me cut through the fog and certainly the BS. By the way, you can apply this to yourself personally. I’ve created a lot of fog and BS in my own head before. Whenever I’ve been called crazy, it often has spurred me on. Almost like treasure map with clues. Imagine, “when you hear this, do that.”

Not every bet pays off. We all would do well to remember that the “house” is called the house for a reason. Even so, a little craziness, a little chaos is essential to moving to a life worth living. In my experience, I would never have taken the risks I’ve taken without those twins. I would have hidden behind my citadel and played it safe. Craziness and chaos forced me into a path that hurt, and created in me an Epic Life. A strange dichotomy, I know.

On those nights when I’d awaken at 2 AM, and wonder if I really had lost my mind, there was always his voice saying keep going…just keep going. This is important. You are going to encounter a dismantling during your steps, it is inevitable. Don’t believe the crowd or your own doubts when you wonder if you have lost your mind. Finding life over the sun might be the most challenging pursuit you’ll ever undertake.

Here are some reasons why I advocate the beauty of crazy:

  1. Those who are not crazy are typically medicated and just wanting relief from a life that has no meaning at all
  2. If you walk away from your craziness, you’ll find no one willing to follow
  3. Maybe you’ve seen this clip? It strikes a good chord here
  4. If you haven’t gotten into the habit of taking risks, time will rob you of that desire, and time doesn’t give refunds. Start small and start now
  5. No one has truly lost by being crazy. People who live their lives to hide are the losers

I am thankful for the craziness.

Success at Life

I’ve always wanted to be a success at life. Even when I got off the path in younger years, I knew being a success at life would be important, if not essential.

I took a trip up to the balcony and looked down on the stage of my one-man show recently. It was a telling experience. In my core I am succeeding at life. Of course, no perfection and I always remember that I must keep it real everyday. I dare not forget this. Just the same, I was able to see how my life has been aligned and shaped for what I write here.

I don’t believe in security, comfort and ease. Even when I desire it, I realize those states are mirages. We were not made to set up our destiny based on what seems to be or what we wish for. There is a destiny made for us, and it doesn’t fight to own our souls. Real destiny calls out to us in a whisper. It is an invitation from God. Success at life provides the right canvas for our destiny to shine through.

The problem here in America is we keep trying to exhaust what we can find under the sun. History has seen this before. A population mesmerized by marketing and the physical. You’d think we were divine. I hate to be the rain on the parade. Life is a limited time opportunity.

“…the fierce urgency of now.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

15,492 Days

Tea Brewing

Updated post from the spring of 2008.

Sometimes the calculator can be your best friend.  Today I decided to do an exercise long overdue.

I added up the sum of my days on this planet we call earth.  That number turned out to be 15,492 days.  Birth, school yard wonder, working for a living, falling in love, and being found by the vision.  What a statement in a time when we have little time to stop and think.

The numbering of your days is important.  The following are my reasons for embracing the miracle and exercise:

  1. Numbering your days sobers you.  We can get drunk on success, materials and prestige
  2. In the words of a great songwriter; “we’re only immortal for a limited time“
  3. Creates urgency to do and to dream
  4. Settles you down from worrying about things you’ve got no control over
  5. Makes you realize that safety is a myth.  God wired us for risk and adventure
  6. Helps you avoid regrets
  7. Kills the counter-genuine cells.  Screams the importance of keeping things real
  8. Makes you realize your terminal and that you don’t have to wait for a diagnosis
  9. Builds courage
  10. Makes every smell, taste and delight precious.  Sort of like a 2000 Barolo or the voice of Michael Franks

Number your days, because they’re numbering you.

What a Father Leaves Behind

Legacy is defined by what I leave behind. For the purposes of this post, what I leave behind as a father. A friend told a few weeks back that he could see my legacy through my work (writing, engagements, etc.). Funny how you sometimes don’t think about those types of things when you’re in the midst. It’s still vitally important, regardless.

My friend also recognized that all people have a legacy. He even believes more world problems would be solved if more understood the implications of their legacy. I agree and way too many don’t even consider it.

I want to leave the following behind for my kids:

  1. A sense that I understand the “fierce urgency of now.” The idea that now matters, problems matter, the fight matters.
  2. Love until it hurts. Much of life will be measured by this.
  3. There’s nothing wrong with making a mistake or failing. Go ahead and risk being laughed at.
  4. Find out what God made you to do. This is destiny and it’s worth the pursuit.
  5. People matter and they deserve your respect.
  6. Position yourself for good luck.
  7. Never let the child in you die.
  8. I love their mother, in my words and my actions.
  9. You must always speak up when evil seeks to silence.
  10. Mindfulness opens the door to loving God.

I’m sure there are more things I want them catch, and not catch. The list represents the lens I see through today.

Waiting For the End to Begin

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Saw a young lady yesterday who has multiple myeloma. She is young. I found out about her condition a few months ago, but hadn’t talked to her since the diagnosis. I listened a lot. She spoke much about the importance of prayers, doing things to get through chemo, and doing things that always seemed ok to put off. No time to take for granted now. I was happy to sense that from her.

In my interaction I thought about how we modern men and women often wait until the end, before we start a beginning. It seems like the word late has vanished from our vocabulary. I won’t even go to the words too late. I guess when you feel invincible, time is always on your side.

You do realize we’re all terminal.

I don’t dance with any partner other than life. It feels right and natural to do this. So much of what we do should be about holding on loosely and letting go. We don’t own anything anyway. Sure it feels strange in the beginning and many will think you’ve lost your mind, but it’s what fits. No career, no amount money, no relationship, and no amount of notoriety will be able to substitute. No use in settling for the substitute.

I hope that young lady will be counted as a survivor one day. I also hope that her new beginnings will stick. This is a choice after all, to live over the sun.

10 Reasons I Practice Yoga

Yoga. There are so many benefits in practicing yoga, I could stop here and let you do your own research. But I won’t do that because I want to give you some insight into my experiences with yoga. Here are some random thoughts:

  • Yoga has improved my blood pressure
  • Yoga has help center me
  • Yoga has sharpened my focus on the personhood of God
  • Yoga has built my strength and flexibility
  • Yoga has quieted my obsessive mind
  • Yoga has helped my overall wellbeing
  • Yoga has played a major role in my epic living
  • Yoga has challenged me mentally, physically and spiritually
  • Yoga has helped me see the importance of nutrition
  • Yoga has become a habit

I am no where close to being a master of this art. I am, however evidence of the power that comes from practicing yoga. Talk to your doctor about the risks and rewards, then start slow.

The Longing for More

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I wrote a post a few weeks back and it reflects a significant shift for me. I have a clarity that, quite frankly, has eluded me for some time. Much that hasn’t made sense, does in the current frame. I feel an elation and clarity  that’s pitch perfect.

Take a look at the following lyrics to a familiar song:

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high there’s a land I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then oh why can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow why oh why can’t I?

Those lyrics used to confound me. I now get what the lyricist was trying to communicate. Obviously, I can’t know for sure, so leave me a little latitude. The lyrics communicate the longing, found in most people I know and have met. Some would say it’s a longing felt by the majority of people around the globe. A longing to know and believe that there is something more to life than what we find in the daily living under the sun.

There was a time many years ago where I was arrogant enough to believe that I could speak to certain areas of life without having the experience. I relied on my head and book knowledge to make my conclusions. I discovered the heart doesn’t really make a true appearance until it is broken. My broken heart, in the area of meaning, loss, empathy, and much more, brought a level of understanding that only those experiences could produce. Now I know about the longing.

I am humbled.

I see modern men and women pursuing much on this planet and inside of them is eternity. Some are drawn and some feel driven mad. Either way, there is something more, there is epic living. I’ve spent more than 7 years living what was appointed for me. My appointments were out in front. for a purpose. Maybe not unlike Lewis and Clark, who prepared a way.

I expect in the coming days, weeks and months to introduce tangible experiences for you and I to engage in a deeper way. We’ll start slow, experiment a little and find some openings to live over the sun.

5 Reasons to Be Creative

Landscape

I overheard a conversation with an adult family member yesterday. He was lamenting the sad reality of a creative’s existence. You’ve probably heard it before:

“They’re starving, and all artists starve.”

Funny how those who complain about the creative’s plight, often are big admirers of art (life, parenting, music, painting, cinema, etc.). So what gives? Is it really about starving and doing without? Is it really a dance with insanity to do what only seems to make sense to you?

As someone who tried to close and lock the door to my creative wiring, the wiring never goes away. I finally accepted it and learned to celebrate it. That was a crucial awakening.

For those who say retirement, promotions and prestige are the keys to a fulfilling life, that game is already been called.

Here are my 5 reasons to be creative:

  1. The age of the doer is over. Just like many types of change, an age ends before the mass knows and feels it.
  2. You were created to be creative. Not everyone will be a Miles Davis or Daniel Day-Lewis, but everyone has it in them if they are courageous enough to act on it.
  3. Our collective wellbeing is calling out for this-desperately.
  4. The status quo won’t seem so appealing.
  5. Living over the sun will make a lot more sense.

What are some of your reasons for being creative?