Tag: life coaching

Life Currency

In my post last week on the new net-worth, I challenged you to look at net-worth in a different way.  I even went as far as to say your life depends on it (in so many ways).

An important thing to keep in-mind is the currency each of us is given in the following 8 areas.  Call it life currency:

Wheel of Life 
The currency is with you all of the time, if you haven't declared bankruptcy in any of the areas yet.  The irony is you can invest this currency in any way you like.  You can be foolish or wise, greedy or giving the choice is yours.

So what if you you awoke tomorrow and no one was interested in your career currency or your money currency?  How would your fair?  Could you find any currency in your family account or your physical account?

My words could fly in the face of what you hold dear (like your career or social).  And in many facets, you won't get any encouragement from your investment house (as in the money variety) or family.  You might get objections like "what about your retirement" or "how are you going to support your wife and kids?"  Hopefully, you noticed that I've never advocated you ignore those.  I am asking you to do just the opposite.  

Pay close attention to each of the 8 areas. 

The idea here is to adopt integration-every day.  Starting small and moving to the big and great.

 

 

Is Your Life a Misdemeanor or a Felony?

Scales of Justice 
This post will require you to forget the normal definitions and feelings about crime.  My play on words for this post require the following context:

    Misdemeanors will only create an insignificant interaction with legal authorities.  You might even get off with a warning.  In the end, your act was more of a blip or blur.

    Felonies, on the other hand are serious actions and cause disrupption.  Authorities will do all they can to see that something big happens.  Proper attention is given and depending on seriousness of the action, in might create widespread interest.

I'm going to give you a compare and contrast illustration from a few areas of life to help:

  • Money -A misdemeanor would be throwing a few dollars into a savings account every now and then.  A felony would be creating a plan to get out of debt, that would map out small experiments/steps to accomplish the goal.
  • Physical – A misdemeanor would be taking your dog for a walk in the warmer months, but not in the cooler seasons.  A felony would be creating a plan to get your heart rate up to 70% max, that includes small experiments/steps around biking.
  • Social – A misdemeanor would be saying hello to a neighbor when you see them in the morning or afternoon.  A felony would be creating a plan to introduce yourself to someone you've never met in 3 areas of your company, that would incorporate small experiments/steps of networking with a manager or co-worker.

The big take-away is, blips and blurrs are forgotten and lead to a wasted life.  On the other hand, serious actions and disrupptions are remembered and lead to a life well-lived.  Which do you prefer?

 

The New Net-Worth

Measuring net-worth is a pretty linear process for many people/businesses.  Just subtract your liabilities from your assets, and voila you have your net-worth. Right?

Where I live (USA), we all are dealing with a new paradigm.  Some of us know it, some of us are denying it and some of us are just wondering in the desert.  Regardless of where you fall on that list, change has come. Our lives are different and I sense it's permanent.

It's interesting to me how old habits die hard.  Many are still rather obsessed about money and career.  Still partying on the Titanic I guess.  But what if money and career are only a part of your net-worth?  Sort of like two rooms in your house versus the entire dwelling.

In our work we advise people to see their net worth in way that is representative of their entire life…8 areas specifically.  The illustration below will reveal what those eight areas are:

Wheel of Life 
If I asked you to calculate your net-worth based on the wheel, how much would you be worth?  Are you in the black or in the red?  How prepared are you for the harsh winds of change?  And by the way, there are some who make six-figures who are actually very poor.  It is tragic.

I think you've probably figured out that my post is not designed to get you to abandon money and career.  But it is designed to get you to put things in their proper place.  A place where you begin to integrate the 8 areas in a deliberate way.

Yes, it is tough work.

The take-away here is found in that new paradigm.  If you think focusing only on career and money is a sound strategy, then I have some bad news for you.  It worked (or so we deluded ourselves into believing) during the days of continual prosperity.  But the truth is, it never worked and it certainly won't work now.  We have now entered into an age where the danger of ignoring/neglecting our total life will produce catastrophic results.  Maybe you've lost your job of 20 years and you never took the time to pay attention to your mental health, so managing the stress of job loss is crippling.  Maybe your marriage has crumbled around you and your wondering why you didn't spend time listening to your spouse's needs.  You get my point.

Turn around while you can, things have changed.  If you're wondering how this work is accomplished, then stay tuned.  We'll be working with our strategic partner Take Time for Life to present an experience that will show how managing your life (totally) can be done.

Getting Your Life Back

When I was twelve I knew I wanted to be this:

 

As time has moved on, I still am, and do desire to continue to be, an artist.  The level and notice that comes my way always changes.  Absolutely fine with me.  I am an artist creating daily with words, with ideas with love, and with my life. 

Many years ago I allowed the Matrix (corporations, people, religion, and more) to convince me that I was not an artist or someone wired with a lot of imagination and creativity.  It whispered ever so softly that I needed put the "art" away and remember the importance of security. It almost worked, but I wanted and got my life back.  I write the following with great emphasis:

    Get your life back!  Whatever you must do, get your life back.

Now, here are the lessons I've learned in this motion picture:

  1. Go slow and start small.  One more time, go slow and start small.
  2. Most people are not going to like you beyond the surface.  Your life is not about the surface, so get on with it.
  3. Ask for help.
  4. Know what's most important to you, not to anyone else, as be commited to those things.
  5. You can't make people happy or ok, even those you love deeply.

The Road After the Tipping Point

I've only read parts of Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.  The cruel reality of tipping points is they often are not seen until after the train begins its departure from the station.  Good or bad, happy or sad we've seen this many times in our collective lifetimes.

In America, we're living in a post-tipping point place.  Our government is now exposed for what it truly is, organizations are now truly competing on a global playing field and the idea of a work-life contract is no longer a theory.  I know many in the middle part of America (other areas might be similar) who seem to be waiting.  In waiting, I mean waiting for the past to make an encore appearance in their lives.  This is rooted in desiring certainty and security.  In other words, what I knew before is much better than this unknown place I find myself in today.

I've counseled before that "known" things once were unknown.  And that life is full of multiple processes of moving from known to unknown and unknown to known.  We often resist this.  I'm sure it's rooted in our childhood and what we witnessed.  No blaming and judgement here, but if you had an example of "better to conform" than to take a risk at losing something, then you probably lean toward conformity.  Risking embarrassment or the pain of failing will be like the plague to you.

There is hope.

Up until 4 years ago, exercise was like a nagging wife or mother to me.  I consequently leaned toward fitful starts and stops for way too many years.  It wasn't until I decided that life was a gift to be nourished and treated well, did I make a decision to do the rewarding and hard work of exercise.  I've applied this in virtually every key (8) area of my life.  I haven't regretted it and my life is better for it.

Regardless of your circumstances, there will always be a road after the tipping point.  Some harder (reinvention, changing habits, etc.) than others, but always a road that leads to breakthrough.  Can you see it?

On Second Acts and Encores

Second act 

A wise friend once told me a long time ago that my life would be made up of multiple lifetimes.  I think I just nodded and went on.

Welcome to the future.

It's very clear that most people look into their personal crystal ball and define what they see accordingly.  The future. In my case I saw one long run on Broadway.  It was uninterrupted by life or the circumstances therein.  No shock here, but things often changed and I became good at navigating.  Sometimes the navigating was done by the stars.

In our time we are a culture of second acts and encores.  Reinvention is the norm.  At first glance for some this brings sadness.  Many were counting on things playing out as one show, one performance.  But reality set in and we were told the curtain was coming down.  We looked over our shoulder and saw someone younger, prettier and certainly cheaper lying in wait.  It was the end.

Or was it?

When our eyes are opened and things are clear we can understand a forgotten truth.  The truth of second acts and encores.  We are continually experiencing them.  And it is a good thing.  Call it the width of life and not just the length.  Those that have decided that security and stability are to be worshiped will not understand this.  I recommend you expect and embrace your second acts and encores.  Savor the opportunity to fashion a wonderful ending or a song concluding the performance.  Just don't linger too long over the empty auditorium.  This will take a little getting used to.

I have had friends, family, money, jobs, business ideas, and more that lasted for only a time.  Some ended sooner than I would have liked, others seemed to drone on and on.  But all were a part of forming the painting that is my life.  It is a strange dichotomy that we crave things that will ultimately hold us back, while rejecting the things that open up doors to our dreams. I fear less and my grip is now a little less firm because I want what's to come to just come and set me forward to the next act.  Is the alternative really a better option?

Here are some things you should consider for the road ahead:

  • Second acts and encores are happening whether you participate or not.  Everyone gets the chance to perform or leave the audience wondering what's wrong.
  • Since the second acts and encores are in motion, why not prepare?  Have a song list, rehearse how you will exit.
  • Don't romanticize your past.  It wasn't as great as you think it was.
  • If you're a rugged individualist, "self-made", a do it on my own type, then stop.  Life was not meant to be a solo journey.
  • Embrace your sadness as you would your happiness.