Tag: life coaching

The Problem With Talking Points

Talking Points 

Many years ago, some of my colleagues and I would joke about various talking points executed in the oh-so many meetings we attended.  What was ever striking about those talking points was the lack of conviction and sincerity.

So why the problem?

At some level we crossed over the line of danger when it comes to our words-spoken and written.  So much so, that many inside of organizations, families, churches, communities, and governments are jaded.  We've blurred the picture of what is real and what is fiction.  Regrettable leaders now feel comfortable using words in truth and lie.  They see this time as one meant for convenience and opportunity. 

Is there hope here?

The short answer is yes.  But the following needs to be adopted:

  1. Stop ceding your voice to those who think they're smarter than you.  Often-times they're not and should never be given the power to smother you.  It's a basic human thing that is bigger than a position, a title or career security.
  2. Stop allowing fame and fortune to cause you to turn the ether on.  The courageous and integrity driven folks are often never on Oprah.  But if we only see fame and fortune as valid, how will we recognize the "real" and authentic?
  3. Stop living someone else's life.  I wear a size 40 jacket, you wear a size 42, so why should you try wearing my jacket?  Your size is what you were meant to wear.  And by the way you'll be happier.
  4. Stop listening to the negative voices in your head.  Specifically, the type that cause you to run and hide.  Negative voices are inherently evil.
  5. Start demanding honesty from those that lead you, serve you or ask you for your money.  You're worth it!

Take Time for Your Life

Take Time for Life Logo 

In recent months I've written and video posted about our new experience Take Time for Your Life.  Our "beta" launch was in late February and we've had some early success with individuals and organizations.  I am gratified by this.  The experience is now ready for launch in the webosphere.  Our first webinar will be conducted in late April.  Live events are in the planning stages as I write.

The why (very important) behind the experience is simply this:

    To have the life you want, you must take time for and manage your whole life.

The Take Time experience moves you from talking about the desire for a breakthrough to actually experiencing a breakthrough-multiple one's at that.  Our approach is focused on you, your way and your life.  We truly believe your the best person to define your life.  And most important the Take Time experience gives you the tools (online resources, subject matter experts, life-specific educational experiences, interaction with me, webinars, live events, live chat) needed to move you to breakthrough.

I am very excited about what this experience will mean for you.  I hope you will join us on the journey.  Your life matters, so give it the time it deserves.

Defining A Blue Sky Experience

 March 28 2011 002

How do you define a blue sky experience? Is it some place over yonder? Is it a person? I see it as a moment. Just one moment.

Even in a business like mine where you work hard to get people engaged, I always take a step back and consider those who claim they have no time, shrink back in fear or laugh off the thought of what a blue sky experience might mean.  I guess you can't escape all of the things that get in the way of blue skies.

Since we began our partnership with Take Time for Your Life, it has become very clear about what's at stake.  Think of the premise of the words "take time for your life."  The urgency is great here, we actually are in the business of helping people put their life first.  Not their career, not a degree, but their life.  A life that includes career, education and more.

So the blue sky experience requires you to put your life first.  It requires you to understand that you only have so many times to see it feel it, embrace it.  It requires you to understand that the blue sky experience was given to you as a gift of sorts.  A wonderful gift.

I am an experiential writer and guide, so you need to know that I'm not just poking around here.  The picture in this post was taken in a moment today.  A moment I almost passed up because I thought I had so much work to finish, and I did.  But I turned around.  About an hour after I took the shot, I had to remind my mom that theattorney needed my dad's death certificate to finish her estate plans.  Admittedly, my blues increased substantially.

Enjoy your blue skies when you see them.  

Sometimes It’s Better To Be A Role Player

I've been thinking a lot recently about role players. When you think about it, these folks are very crucial to any REAL team. You know what I mean, a group of people who know the goals are bigger than the individual desires of each team member. Well, I digress, the role players are crucial. Most significant victories would never happen without them.

There is a certain implication that comes with being a role player, namely you must be willing to be in the background or behind the scenes. Humility is the implied character trait here. This is difficult. Our culture (business, media, church, and maybe even family) doesn't laud humility. So it can lead you to wonder where's the spotlight on your achievements. Maybe you don't need the limelight. Maybe the limelight is overrated.

You need to evaluate hard what the coaching staff looks like in your organization. If it's weak, then time to reconsider. Effective organizations know the importance and live out the importance of strong coaching. They know that the best coaches know how to get the best out of each player. The best coaches take the time to understand each individual and then find the place where they can excel. Again, the application applies to multiple places in life. So whether you're a reserve guard for a team in the Sweet Sixteen or a business analyst in a Fortune 500 firm, you've got to have a coach that knows you and you have to have the humility accept not a lot of lime light if your best suited to be a role player.

We all need to find that place where we're satisfied with our role. Even if it's the role of a role player.

Managing Your Life Can Lead To Unexpected Breakthroughs

March 2011 007 

In our lives it can be easy to have unrealistic expectations for results.  Especially, if we're coming out of something we hated or something that was a bad habit.  I know this from my own experiences.

Think of the negotiations you have with yourself.  For example, "I need to get to work, so the workout will have to wait today.  Besides, I'm under a lot of pressure to hit my numbers this quarter."  If you repeat this scenrio often enough you can convince yourself that tomorrow never comes.  I did.  It has taken me a long time to respect my life as the most important thing.  When you do this you realize that all facets of your life warrant your attention and care.

The point of my post today is what happened to me on an impromptu day-trip with my wife.  We decided to have lunch at a great inn and go hiking afterwards.  The weather was great, as evidenced by the picture in my post, and we were expecting a wonderful time together.

The owner of the inn, Ellen, who we've know for some time, visited with us.  I had a chance to tell her about our new experience, Take Time for Your Life.  We connected immediately, my wife said some wonderful things about me and I'm confident we'll be able to help Ellen and her followers in a meaningful way.

My wife and I proceeded to take our hike after lunch and talked.  Some about the beauty of the surroundings, some about the business opportunity with Ellen and some laughter.  The hike got our heart rates up and we enjoyed each other's company.

So what does this have to do with managing your life?

The wheel of life below illustrates 8 areas of life.  Which of them did I manage today?

Wheel of Life 

 

What A Florist Taught Me About Life and Work

Spring_Crocus 

I've taught people about the idea of "doing" what makes you come alive many times in my work.  You've either witnessed it in other people or discovered it within yourself.  Regardless, it's priceless and leaves a mark on you.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a florist in my city to buy my wife flowers.  I went to this small business because a couple of friends had just purchased it and I wanted to give them my business.

When I walked in I greeted Amy and congratulated her on the purchase and asked her how things were going.  She talked about the various marketing ideas she had, the changes to the look and feel of the store that were to come and how crazy things were going into the Valentines Day holiday.  But there was one thing she said that left a big mark on me.  The following are her words:

    "When I'm in the back working on arrangements, that's my place, that's my time to be."

Here's what I learned, and am still learning, from her words:

  1. Knowing who you are versus who you are not makes a big difference.
  2. Epic Living is defined by the individual and looks different for each person.
  3. Our Life is screaming out to us to pay attention.
  4. You have to have the vision, the willingness to act and the patience to experience your dreams.
  5. Entrepreneurism is a road filled with opportunity and risk.
  6. Doing a work that requires you to show up is essential.
  7. It's very important to listen to the stories of others.

I'm sure there's more I could add to the list, but we all can utter the words Amy did if we truly are willing to go on the journey.  It's my life's work to help you.

Some Thoughts On Improv In Business

In my early days of musicianship (I'm still a musician) I really become fond of improvisation.  There was something magnetic about creating without a "script."  Not to mention, when you had to make a change because the performance demanded it. 

This post came to me from Rose over at BSchool.com.  It's an extensive list of why improv matters in your business life.  I think it's also applicable to your personal life too. 

What Others May Not See

Rainbow 

What if you're the guy or gal who has decided to embrace change, even if you're not sure what that change may bring?  I applaud you if you are.  It's healthy and the life you want is paved with your willingness to move forward.

How about those that decide not to go with you?  Not a huge deal when it's the co-worker who likes to gossip or the brother-in-law that seems to think he has the best plan for your life.  But when it's someone you love or someone you call a friend it can stop you in your steps.  You might even think about going back to Egypt.  A place you think, even if it was miserable, as a safer bet with no resistance.

From my own experience it is never easy to change.  And conversly it is not easy for those that are watching or playing a part in your motion picture-your life.  Your changes may be a source of discomfort, construed as a violation of a committment you supposedly made, or like the fool who believes only the stuff flowing through their head, you refuse to be the person they define you to be.

Here's what I've done so far to manage what others may not see on my journey:

  1. Let go.
  2. Open my eyes up so that I can see new friends (thank you Marc, Ed, Anna, Mike).
  3. Give those who are trying to stick with you a chance(s).  Not everyone moves at the same pace, but they must be moving.
  4. Remember, the world need the person you're becoming.
  5. Don't expect applause, don't think you can change people, and it accept that some relationships were intended for only a season.

 

What You Leave Behind Shapes Your Tomorrow

Your history is shaping your future.  Not uncontrollably, but subtley and deliberately.  Has a lot to do with our choices.

We really are a motion picture.  Hollywood can only touch the tip of a life's iceberg.

You're not one of those that says; "so what" are you?

A lot of people are now faced with multiple, multiple paths and crossroads.  Whether it's financial, career, family or social, it all adds up to confusion.  Who do you trust?  How do you know how to trust?  Often people just guess and hope it turns out okay.  History is riddled with folks who found those guesses produced nothing but regret.

There is an opportunity to course correct or to begin again.  It won't be easy and it won't be free.  But when did easy and fee get you to a better future?

If you want to know the solutions, then contact me to begin the journey and learn how Epic Living can help.