Tag: looking back

The Looking Back Thing

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Looking back has tremendous value. I'm not referring to looking back with regret. Looking back with regret usually leads to mental paralysis. I'm speaking of looking back to gain perspective and clarity.

For me, a large part of the looking back thing is getting a sense of the notes God's been playing in the symphony of life. This has helped me be more aware of what the future could look like. My gut becomes centered around knowing what my next move should be. Here recently, the movement in that symphony tells me change is coming in my life.

Now before you think this is some overly spiritual pursuit or a complex riddle to solve, it can be very straightforward if you let it. For example, let's say your history in work has been most successful in large organizations. Maybe you've excelled there because of structure and well-established processes. Now, a new, smaller organization wants you to come on board and do your magic. Looking back will help you understand where you've performed best and what environments work best for you. It doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't work for a small organization because they're still forming, it just means looking back can inform you of where you perform best. It might even be a predictor of your success. I've had to make more than a few mistakes in this dept. to learn this.

The following are what I consider to be keys to the looking back thing:

  • Stay away from regret when looking back. You can't rewrite history, so no sense in lingering over what could have been. This is hard work and your wellbeing will be the better for it.
  • Be humble. Don't think of yourself as rock star. An inflated ego will always distort your view.
  • Look back to inform and keep record of it. Refer back to it often.
  • Don't look for guarantees. Be willing to make a mistake. Often, mistakes lead to breakthroughs. 
  • Find someone or people to be a sounding board for what you're thinking.
  • Get a coach. It can help you clear the clutter and find the gold hidden.
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5 Things I Haven’t Forgotten

Thinking 

The following are 5 things I haven't forgotten along the way of my travels:

  1. It will be my life that will be measured in eternity.  God won't be spending 60% of his time with me asking about my career and money choices.  It'll be a part of the conversation, just not as big as it often can be in this world.  
  2. Relationships are hard work.  In America, we have this obsession with ease and pleasure.  In some areas this is totally appropriate.  In a relationship (you fill in the blank) ease and pleasure come as a result of the hard work.  It's hard work because anything worth your time should require something big from you.
  3. I can't fix or save anybody.  All I can do is offer with encouragement and kindness.  The choice to do something is totally out of my control.  After watching many of my family members experience the affects of alcohol and drug abuse, I know this well.
  4. Change is a part of life and you'd better be prepared to face ridicule for embracing it.  I never had as much peace as when I was in the box that many had grown comfortable with.  Some of this is people getting used to change, but the remainder is from the "crowd."  I now understand that the two are intertwined.
  5. I don't have to have all the answers.
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Why Going Back Doesn’t Work

Road Back 

I recently posted on our Facebook Fan Page the following question:

Why didn't Neo go back into the Matrix?

If you've seen the Matrix, you probably have the answer.  But what's fascinating is how readily we can be to going back to something that doesn't exist anymore.  I guess you could say Neo was super-human and therefore had the stamina to keep going forward.  I think it's more that his eyes were opened and he was caught by the fire of his purpose.

One of the first steps of any journey is to define the purpose (the reason you're here).  Without purpose you're nothing more than a wonderer.  I didn't fully define my purpose until I crossed my personal Rubicon.  I was well under way by that time.  Regardless, it was key in helping me understand the dangers of trying to go back.

We are in a battle, you and I.  The present and the future are unfolding.  There are problems to solve and the resistance is great.

Here are 7 reasons why going back won't work:

  1. When you think about going back, it's usually accompnained by a false-sense that what's behind you was secure.  Revisionism gives us the luxury of telling ourselves lies.  We live in a world that is insecure.  This presents great opportunity too.
  2. Our lifetime is made up of multiple lifetimes.  This means there will be beginnings and endings.  Even the best situations were never made to go on and on.  Freedom is found in letting this happen.
  3. Sometimes God will blow-up that place we romanticize about in-order to get us to the better future we really want.  This is tough to accept.
  4. People and organizations move on.  It's not that you couldn't make it work.  But often you're growth means it wouldn't be a fit.  You should just let someone else have a turn.
  5. Our tendency to avoid loss keeps us lamenting about the "one that got away."  The feeling of liberation that failure can be should be tried.  By the way, Derek Rose misses about 58% of his shots.  So what are you afraid of?
  6. Our best work is ahead of us.  Some call it evolution, some call it progression, either way you should be embracing the work that is here and ahead.
  7. We get comfortable and that is the first step to missing our destiny.  The past provides great perceived comfort.  Mostly because we play the part of writer, producer and director.  Be uncomfortable before someone/something makes you that way.