Tag: losing

What Time Hasn’t Taken

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“Love is stronger than death.”

Solomon

I’ve lived long enough to have lost some things. The list includes people, careers, health, and more. Probably true for you as well. The reality of loss is not an age-related thing, though our culture still sells the BS of loss is for the older crowd.

I value what I’ve lost.

I hear Joni Mitchell in my head singing “well somethings lost and somethings gained in living everyday.” Our best remedy is the art of reflection and being. The consequence of reflecting and being, is you can’t be so distracted and doing in life. You better get this one down, your life, and its quality, might depend on it.

Hear’s what time hasn’t taken from me:

Love

In all of life’s losses and heartbreaks, love remains. Whether I’ve fallen, chosen or awakened to, love has remained. That poem at the beginning is true, not even death. How can that be? I’ve had my moments of wondering, but the truth remains. When love enters you it never leaves. The colors and brush strokes may vary and change, but love never leaves.

It’s mysterious and beautiful.

The Giving Up Thing

Giving Up

Wrote this back in 2011. I was in the garden this past week and it dawned on me how I’ve been to this place and back, and back again. Hope you get some inspiration here. Cheers!

Picture this, you’re moving through life wondering where you fit in.  You’ve played many roles.  You’ve tried finding happiness in what everyone says you should be happy with.  But, alas, you’re still looking.  Every day you’re looking and the “giving up thing” rears its head (ugly or beautiful).

This is tough and lonely work.

If we’re honest, we’d admit that the purpose/mission has at one time or another whispered to us.  Trouble is we’re not a very honest culture.  The art of lying to oneself is very much the norm.  And so it goes, the whisper.  The proverbial, “this is what makes me come alive” or “I belong in this space.”  Do you listen or try to ignore?  So now you know.  It’s calling you and maybe you’re one of the few that listens.  Your first step out into the great unknown is a dip (thank you Seth Godin).  Maybe it’s skepticism, maybe it’s envy or maybe it’s flat out fear on your part.  Before long you begin to wonder what you’ve done and is it too late to turn back.  Turning back always has your number on speed-dial.

There is a reason Cortez burned the ships in the harbour.

Let me be clear, sometimes you should give up.  I think we know when that is.  The time to give up is not when you’re being refined by the crucible of exhaustion and doubt.  And believe me, that’s when many do give up.  I’ve always believed that no one can truly play a part in changing the world until they have felt pain and loss.  By the way, that’s what everyone else has experienced.  And is experiencing in some way.  The audience is looking for someone who is unwavering in integrity and has a passion to solve the problems.

Here are some observations on combating the desire to give up when you shouldn’t:

  • As mentioned earlier, your exhaustion and doubt may be related to the crucible.
  • Being who you really are is Tough Work.  Don’t buy the lie of ease and comfort.
  • Going back is often the first step to your own eulogy.
  • Don’t confuse the need for reinvention of your work versus turning the lights out.  Your work is your work, know what it is.
  • Be allegiant to your life.  This brings clarity, you’ll need this when the difficult times come.

Thoughts on Marriage-The Winning and the Losing

I don't know if I've ever written a post on marriage. I know I've never written about the winning and the losing side of it. With the exception of my wife, I just haven't. Sorry.

Marriage can be a powerful part of Epic Living.

I happened upon this post while on Google + last week. The writer, Kelly Flanagan, is a therapist practicing in Wheaton, Illinois. It is by far, one of the best takes on what makes for a thriving marriage. He does an excellent job of breaking things down in a way that most anyone can unwrap. I think he's onto something that many already know; a life-long relationship is essentially about serving/giving to the person you love. The greatest irony of this is found in the fact that you get so much more back from that serving/giving.

Married or not, you'll gain a lot out of his perspective. I'd love to know if you see applications beyond marriage too. 

When Winning Produces a Loss

D Rose Injury
May sound contrariain, but sometimes winning can produce a loss. From a sports perspective, your team may win the game, but if your star player goes down with an injury, that's a big loss. This can apply to life too. You know, we've been told how great it is to be the one who's in charge or the one everyone wants to hear from. All the while forgetting the price involved.

We've been turned into sheep. We're led along with the herd and told what we must be. All the while being seduced into believing that all of the goods and awards make being a sheep not such a bad thing. And the longer we stay in the herd, the greater the chance we will never have the will to live differently.

The reality is found in understanding that if we win at the expense of something very important, we will lose and that will be the lasting legacy.

I really don't want to insult your intelligence by creating a "here's how" list for avoiding this plague (winning that produces loss). Truth is, most of us know what we need to do (take our spouse out on a date, begin the exercise plan, cut back on work, etc.), it's just our will and courage to do it.

If you're in the category of not knowing, then read this post from awhile back for some direction.