Living In the Incongruent

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Are you living in the incongruent?

Some years ago, my life was full of incongruent statements and values. I could quickly tell you how important God was to me, and then find myself obsessing over a business meeting yet to come. The irony was not many could call me out on it. The credit for that was found in my “Oscar-worthy” performances. Before you give me credit for my acting skills, you’re probably the same. Americans are especially good at self-deception.

Eventually, if you want something better, you’ll need to hang up your thespian ways and the incongruent values attached. The threat is we don’t have as much time as we think we do. Floating from thing to thing doesn’t grant you more time. Nor will the deceptions of our age. The marketing messages won’t support your highest aspirations here either. As a matter of fact, those messages may tell you to keep at it, or worse, convince you of the great loss in turning around. I speak from experience.

I have found great value in the following:

  1. Embrace failure like success. By no means do I think you should seek failure, but when it comes (it will) give it full embrace. Learning and grit follows this
  2. Slow down and find your breath. A nod here to mindfulness and prayer. The only way you can be who you want to be is to slow down and find it, or be found in my case
  3. Find someone who isn’t afraid to call you out. Typically, this person is not impressed by you, doesn’t want or need your money and is a truth teller with love motivating
  4. Be very suspicious of the marketing. Someone once told me that marketing is a lie, that reinforces the lie I tell myself
  5. Get exposure to things, ideas, that are outside of your comfort. You won’t change in your comfort. No reason to…

My eyes are wide open and the road ahead is shorter than the road behind me. I’d like you to join me, wherever you may be found,  and live true, not incongruent.

When Authentic Was Authentic

Masks 

I shouln't be surprised that we've come to the point where a segment of the marketing universe is coaching "authentic."  Yes, authenticity is now being taught.  I guess it's a new business opportunity to reform the fake.  Judging by this piece from the New York Times, many are jumping on the bandwagon.  But in your gut, you're probably not surprised.

If you're someone who is learning how to express yourself in a way that fits who you are or you are someone who's going through the process of reinvention due to job loss, then I get what you're doing and this post is not meant to rub you the wrong way.

The idea of advisment around authenticity comes from a motivation to build trust.  A trust to buy.  What many businesses forget is people don't trust because those same businesses would rather make a sale than make a long-term relationship.  In a long-term relationship there is a blend of give and take, good and bad, yes and no, you get my point.  From what I see most don't have the desire or stamina to deal with that.  Ironically, I don't know many people who want a one-sided (always in the favor of the business/provider) engagement as a customer or a human being.

What are we doing?  I mean really, is authenticity something that we need to coach?  If it is, then here's my authentic recipe/contribution to those who Really want to be more authentic:

  • Find out why you're here (Planet Earth). 
  • Define what you value most and give unwavering allegiance to those things.
  • Manage happiness and performance on a daily basis.  It's worth your time.
  • Consistently seek to get better through planning and goal setting.
  • Tell other people what you've found and are doing.

That should about cover it.

 

 

Human Beings Being Human

To understand the human psyche is a gift.  To understand it because you've lived it is matchless.

Why do people continue a pattern that they know in the end will lead to undoing?  Fear and a warped view of the world in which they live, I would say, are at the top of the list.  To face these two demons is very daunting for most.

If you're in the world of growing something, if you have a calling, if you are moved to make change, then you need to realize that often the choices people make are based on human beings being human.

When Small Creates Big

I have sometimes fallen into the trap of thinking that I needed to create a big splash in-order to bring home the winning run.  Or even the illusive search for the fictional "silver bullet."  I don't do that anymore.  Call it age and wisdom, but now I'm comfortable with small things.  I'm focused on changing what sphere I've been given to influence.  It's not what Seth Godin or Stephen Covey have authority over.  However, I share a common landscape with both of them.  And that is to change the world-seen or unseen.

It's that seen/unseen stuff that drives us humans crazy.  We want something to show for our toil.  Reasonable, but maybe it's time to turn that desire upside-down.

The following is a speech from Rory Sutherland at a recent TED event.  He's onto something.

 

 

What Marketing Can’t Fix

Here are some things marketing can't fix:

  1. Leaders who wear masks
  2. Followers that have lost faith
  3. A culture broken from the start
  4. Unwillingness to change
  5. Organizations that don't put the customer first-really
  6. A salesforce only focused on sales
  7. An organization that doesn't aspire to something greater than last years results
  8. Apathy
  9. Wounded clients
  10. Exhausted faux-marketing techniques

How Perception Can Lead To Reality

The above is a speech from Rory Sutherland.  He gives some veiled (pay close attention)advice on how to take what you are and do to a new level.

Have you thought about the implications of how you or your service/products are perceived today?  Have you asked anyone (customer, employee, vendor)?

The speech is about 20 minutes in length, but it will feel like 10.  The quote from G.K. Chesterton is powerful too.