mindfulness Archives - Epic Living

What I’ve Really Learned Most From Worry

27 June 2016June 26, 2016Eric

Worry In Life’s Classroom:

In my last post, there was only a title and a blank page. In a clever (so I thought) way I wanted to communicate that worry has taught me nothing. This is not entirely true.

In the end, worry has truly been a horrible teacher. If worry were a class, seminar or talk, I would go the other way. Alas, worry has been the cause of so much of my mental stress. I don’t like to think about how much of my lifetime has been sucked away by it.

In many ways worry is like fear, it must be managed. The discipline is a daily activity. Life happens and the elements are what they are. In the age of the Monkey Mind, so much comes at us. Here are some examples from my yesterday:

My son’s physical condition is unstable again
Did the audience get what I was writing
Why is that issue such a big deal to them, when it’s not me
Will the report reveal something I don’t want to know
I feel like I’m being manipulated

I could go on, but I think you get it. So, how did I manage those animals. It’s a blend of preparation and in-the-moment actions. The preparation comes in slowing down, practicing mindfulness daily, seeking God’s face, and knowing that life is not supposed to be easy. The “in-the-moment” actions are born out of emotional intelligence. The understanding that not every emotion and thought is to be held on to. An active letting go is key here. Absent of these, I would be a wreck.

Everyone has difficulties at work, tensions at home, disappointing health news, are all going to happen. You should expect the what comes your way because it will. America is ripe of people trying to numb and medicate their way around. The numb and medicate approach only makes it worse, for you and those around you. We were designed to go through, not around our potential worries. If you mange your worries, you will lead to a contented life.

5 Reasons to Stop and Look Around

2 May 2016June 19, 2016Eric

I’ve spent a lot of time communicating the importance of stopping and looking around. The path to finding the moments, and moments are gifts, if we stop and look around.

How many gifts do you think you’re given every day?

The truth is, we miss many of the gifts because we’re overlooking them to get to the next thing. It’s a mad world when our sole focus is on the next promotion, the next love affair the next great feat that’ll make us loved. I know the power of mindfulness intimately, the power of stopping and being in a moment, goes beyond worn-out marketing slogans and worn-out company initiatives to solve problems that can’t be solved corporately. What I’m speaking to is remembering that we only have a certain amount of time in a lifetime. It’s up to us as to what we embrace and what we ignore.

Before I go into writing about the five reasons to stop and look around, I want to remind you that there’s repetition in the way I approach the subject the way I do. I believe we’re in a war for our gifts because it’s almost as if we have forces that seek to destroy what moments we have. The fight is vitally important and what comes within it.

Let’s look at the five reasons to stop and look around:

Slow down and breathe. Great things occur when we slow down and find our breath meter. Taking time to do this will give room for reflection. The maddening rush of the world around us the continually messages us to grab more, take more and conquer more. Slowing down is a key, instead.
Determine what’s really most important to you. I stress really because many of us are professional in lying to ourselves. We’re connecting back to slowing down here. The idea that we’ve got to establish what is most important and be courageous to commit. Are you willing to be allegiant to what’s most important, in a way that my actions can be measured?
Get some people around you that can keep you accountable. These people don’t buy your self-BS. They are not willing to just take your word for it. These folks deal in the real, with love.
Stop the maddening pursuit of retirement income, work/career and whatever else that preoccupies. I’m not indicting the aforementioned, just the maddening pursuit. The truth is, at least in America, it’s delusional now. We’ve given working/ career and retirement way too much of our attention. For example, how do you know what 65 is gonna look like? Many have lost what they love because they killed themselves pursuing wind.
Get over yourself. That’s right, stop making you the center of the universe. You do realize that the focus on getting you balanced is so there can be light behind you. A brilliant light is the aim. A wise mentor told me not too long ago, “Eric, you have to give yourself away, like Jesus did.” By the way, you’ll get more in return by doing it. It’s counterintuitive (the reason many refuse) and it’s beautiful.

Positioning to stop and look around is key to finding true meaning. Why not let yourself be found?

Living In the Incongruent

15 March 2016March 15, 2016Eric

Are you living in the incongruent?

Some years ago, my life was full of incongruent statements and values. I could quickly tell you how important God was to me, and then find myself obsessing over a business meeting yet to come. The irony was not many could call me out on it. The credit for that was found in my “Oscar-worthy” performances. Before you give me credit for my acting skills, you’re probably the same. Americans are especially good at self-deception.

Eventually, if you want something better, you’ll need to hang up your thespian ways and the incongruent values attached. The threat is we don’t have as much time as we think we do. Floating from thing to thing doesn’t grant you more time. Nor will the deceptions of our age. The marketing messages won’t support your highest aspirations here either. As a matter of fact, those messages may tell you to keep at it, or worse, convince you of the great loss in turning around. I speak from experience.

I have found great value in the following:

Embrace failure like success. By no means do I think you should seek failure, but when it comes (it will) give it full embrace. Learning and grit follows this
Slow down and find your breath. A nod here to mindfulness and prayer. The only way you can be who you want to be is to slow down and find it, or be found in my case
Find someone who isn’t afraid to call you out. Typically, this person is not impressed by you, doesn’t want or need your money and is a truth teller with love motivating
Be very suspicious of the marketing. Someone once told me that marketing is a lie, that reinforces the lie I tell myself
Get exposure to things, ideas, that are outside of your comfort. You won’t change in your comfort. No reason to…

My eyes are wide open and the road ahead is shorter than the road behind me. I’d like you to join me, wherever you may be found, and live true, not incongruent.

Why Mindfulness Matters

15 April 2014April 15, 2014Eric

I posted this over a year ago and I returned to Andy’s TED Talk a couple of days ago. It was a great reminder of a precious gift.

So why does mindfulness matter? It matters because if you’re like me, there is a ton coming at you everyday. Social media, email, work demands, family issues, and the list could go on. I’m so thankful that I found yoga. It has helped me in so many ways with this war (mental in this case) we’re in. The mindfulness and physical lift I get are two big ones that leap out.

In the clip, Andy Poddicombe, points to some insights I plan on expanding in my mind. I want to do a better job of managing my thought-life in the here, and on.

The Time Issue

26 February 2013February 26, 2013Eric

Time doesn't fly by and we don't have a "time issue." Time has been moving at the same pace as it always has and your time issue is more than likely an excuse.

As I write, I must plead guilty. Many times I've written those worn out cliches of:

Time goes by so quickly
Life is brief
Don't blink

I could go on, but I've slowly been coming to an awakening.

The reason we in America (maybe in other parts of the world too) feel like time goes so fast, is we are always:

Chasing after something
Wanting something
Afraid of losing something
Getting involved in something
Worrying about something

That group above will make you feel like your driving a high performance car on the Audubon-in all waking hours. Why not find your moment instead? Why not take the road less travelled? Why not take a risk and say no?

Being in the moment is not a worn out statement. I wish it were, then it might be an indicator that we've stopped the madness. Being in the moment is essential and everyone can do it, if they want. The scary part is many will wait to the end before they realize how much time they've burned.

America is in trouble for a number of reasons. Our abuse of time in the pursuit of "all of the above" is insuring a troublesome outcome. I'm convinced there is a desire, but as in many things, desire is not enough. I've moved to the place where I purposely, every day, find my moment. I have to.

Find your moment and turn around.

Managing Your Thoughts

1 February 2013February 1, 2013Eric

"Been thinking, more than writing these days. Hoping to get back here very soon. Many events of 2009 have conspired in a way not imagined."

-Epic Living Blog, Spring of 2009

The above quote came from me almost 4 years ago. Though I'm now in a different place, the words began pushing me to reflection.

Do I have a handle around my thoughts?

As we've entered into 2013, I've given a lot of myself to why thoughts matter. The good ones, the bad ones and how impactful the sum of the two have been on me, and others. This may seem like an obvious because we do it all the time…thinking that is. But what if the majority of our thoughts are made up of the following:

Worries
Regrets
Doubts
Fears
Bitterness

It is clear in my own walk that some of those examples fit my past thought patterns. I say past, because part of my growth plan for 2013 is to manage my thoughts with great energy and focus. I've lost too much time (literally) letting bad thinking rule the day.

One great example for me is the area of regrets. There was a time when I daily struggled with regrets over my choice of entrepreneurism. The fact that I began a new life in the area of entrepreneurism when I was at my pinnacle in the corporate world, the fact that I had 2 kids under 10 years of age, the fact that I had a big mortgage, provided fertile land for regrets. This was especially true since I felt my kids were growing up so fast and I was still trying to figure out who I was supposed to be. Ever heard this one in your head?

"I should have spent more time with her just being, but now she's a teen-ager and I wonder if she sees me as father that is there for her."

I could go on with more, but the point is time is precious and we don't have time (REALLY) to spend reviewing all the crap that comes and goes through our heads. It's a deception to believe every thought is worthwhile and a key to who you are. Most of the thoughts listed above are designed to bring you down, suck away your time and leave you standing gripped. What if you decided to let the negatives to just roll on by. Try it, you'll see that your world won't come to an end.

I am living these steps to manage my thoughts better:

Praying diligently to hold my thoughts captive. St. Paul has much to say on this topic
Practicing mindfulness. Andy Puddicombe has some great insights on this here
Staying away from those who see things as a half-empty affair
Keeping things real at all times
Continuing my practice of yoga