problem Archives - Epic Living

Celebrating the best of the Epic Living Blog, 2012. Enjoy!

OK, you've got that feeling of safely, relief and security. And best yet, you didn't get in trouble. You wipe your brow and let out a quiet "whew." You just conformed and all is well with the world.

Or is it?

Often we associate conforming with other words like "doing what's practical" or "sometimes you have to compromise." We're good liars. Choosing conformity is usually the result of a lack of willingness to make a stand or plain old fear-fear of loss.

Our brains are complicit in this too. It sends those feelings, hormones, etc. to confirm we've made a good decision. But we forget that over time our brain is just responding based on our habits and tendencies. So, if you're used to not making a stand, then your brain wants to protect you and conforming is the result.

Conforming seemed "right" when we lived in the industrial age. You remember, do the same thing day-in and day-out. The factory or office didn't require much more from you, other than showing up. But things have changed and now conformity is not what's needed (if it ever was). The problem with conforming is staring us right in the face. And in many areas of our culture we're looking away.

If you're a non-conformist (like me), be encouraged you're not alone. Check-out this site as an example of this. If you find yourself being more of a conformist, then I would seriously consider the dangerous place in-which you reside. In the age we find ourselves in, conforming is a block and a hindrance.

Some final thoughts that warrant your attention:

The context around today's post are the Big Things. I realize we conform everyday when we stop at a traffic light is red. I'm speaking to the issues when we are given a chance to influence (business, family, community, governance, etc.).
This book/manifesto from Seth Godin is one example of what's at stake here.
Safety and security is temporary for the conformist.
If change is warranted for you, then go slow and get someone to come along side of you to advise and coach. Drastic and big movements rarely work.
The world we live in has changed. Beware of those who preach that the past can be resurrected.

I live in a community that has many families. I think the last number I saw it was around 80-85% families. Last night I took a step back and looked around a room of parents and wondered if anyone could look back on their day and find something meaningful (a mark left so that world would know you were alive and contributed) poured out? Busyness is often a mask to hide our lack of purpose and happiness. Despite that, I really believe most want purpose and meaningful pursuits.

One of the areas of opposition is living in an age where we've defined "leaving a mark" down and we've elevated busyness as our substitute. In many ways we feel that a long list of activities produces substance. It doesn't. Enter stage left the mask of hypocrites. We're great actors and actresses. Giving the appearance that all is well and under control. We even have calendars to prove it and make it so. The problem with busy is it wears you down and out. The scary part is found in our belief that the alternative (quality, focused priorities, meaningful work) is not an option.

Look around you, how has all this busyness benefited us?

I'm not here to define what should be meaningful in your life. That's your job to tackle. But here's an acid test to try at the end of your day today:

The things i participated in today were meaningful because_________.

For some help, see my definitions of meaningful:

Saying I love you consistently
Time alone with God
Laughter
Helping my children answer the tough questions
Being authentic
Embacing nature
Physical exercise
Family dinners
Encouraging people through Epic Living (the work within the org.)
Managing and integrating what I value most into my daily existence

Tag: problem

The Problem with Conforming

The Problem with Busy