Tag: success

The Intact Soul

The intact soul is what most everyone says they want. For definition purposes, the soul I am referring to is best described as your essence/core person. When my dad passed away 9 years ago, it was his essence/core person I missed. It was him. I think you can feel me now.

The intact soul is under assault. The assault comes from multiple angles:

  • The employer who tells you, in varied ways, to check your soul at the door for the purposes of conforming and duplication
  • The church who tells you, God, is watching and out to get you
  • The educators who stifle your creativity
  • The body politic who corrupts and thinks you don’t know what’s going on
  • The culture that passes the fake for the authentic

To have an intact soul, you must be vigilant and protective. The vigilant part is made up of long-term thinking. Having a long-term view is the equivalent of understanding that we grow up over time-a lifetime. Like all development, it doesn’t happen immediately, it isn’t like a search on Google. It is a mosaic full of pain, joy, frustration, and satisfaction. The idea of protection is rooted around not letting those examples above to have sway in your life. I’ve had multiple times in my life where I had to tell an employer, loved one, or social media channel that enough was enough. It requires courage, maybe more than you think you have. In the end, your soul demands you stand up and fight.

Here are some strategies I’ve exercised to have an intact soul:

Practice contentment-my life has been a story of times of plenty and times of want. Like anyone else, I prefer plenty over want. The lessons of ebb and flow are powerful. I now appreciate all things because all things contribute to my intact soul. It wasn’t always this way. I can remember my corporate America days as a time of grasping for control and being motivated by fear. I naively thought I could control the stock option grants and the business cycle. I naively thought I would lose everything if I lost my grand role. Both control and fear appear to deceive.

Be fearless-this one is big, considering what I’ve written and the reality of fear in our time. Take any traumatic event and you’ll see what fear can do. I’ve advised clients and those close to me to identify their greatest fears and begin working on becoming fearless. Becoming fearless is the process of looking “that thing” in the eye, over and over. Just keep at it, and eventually you’ll see “that thing” for what it really is. By the way, no one is perfect here. Practice and attention strengthen our ability to stand up and fight. The funny thing about fighting is not the winning or losing, it’s about letting your fear know you won’t fold.

Pursue success in life-I don’t need to list all the ways we’re messaged to be successful. There’s the messaging around career success, the messaging around relationship success, the messaging around material (the stuff) success, and the list goes on. Ironically, there is some messaging around success in life, but it is often much softer in decibel than the others. The great tragedy is; we will need success in life when we realize we’re not invincible. If we don’t get this one right, regret and disappointment await.

If you’ve stayed with me long enough, you might think what I’m proposing is daunting. It’s not daunting, but it is hard work. When I look back over my life, I can feel the minor and major notes. The beauty is both led me to an intact soul.

Reach out to me to learn more about how I can help further.

 

 

Succeeding in What Matters

“Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” – Francis Chan

The above quote came from a friend of mine. It is sobering and provoking.

Here’s what I did with it:

  • I looked back and reflected on my pursuits
  • I made a list of my successes and lined them up in two different categories (what matters and what doesn’t). I have changed a lot
  • I was impacted by the second chances given
  • When I considered the quote, I could make sense of my journey over a good ten years of living
  • Life is a story, I’m leaning into it. Happy or sad, I’m leaning in

You should make discovering what maters your greatest priority. Please know too, many will not encourage you to succeed in what matters. It’s a crazy irony that often we’re encouraged to pursue what ends in the meaningless.

Risk

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It didn’t take me long, as a kid, to know I was born an entrepreneur. A risk-taker who understood that to live, is to risk.

 

a person who organizes and manages any enterprise, especially a business, usually with considerable initiative and risk.

 

The above definition is from dictionary.com and notice the word any.

I wasn’t the kid selling lemonade on the street corner for twenty-five cents. Though I had similar ventures way back when. I liken my path as a life entrepreneur, who had varied enterprises, with varying levels of risk. Each of them shaping who I have become today.

I haven’t always gotten it right or been celebrated for my achievements. Quite frankly, some of my biggest successes are ignored to this day.

So I think…

What are you risking today? Are you involved in any tremors or ripples? Have you stood up when most remain seated?

Embrace risk because it is a key to epic living.

5 Reasons To Just Be Who You Are

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After much searching, maybe you’ve come to the conclusion that it’s much better to just be who you are. I really believe you won’t embrace change until you get to the end of the search.

At the end of a search you should be tired, maybe sick and tired.

I know that many will not go here. They’d rather escape or medicate. It’s sad when a life, brief as it is, is made up in a spiral of dead ends.

Here are 5 reasons to just be who you are:

  1. You will run out of time. You, me, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, and everyone else has this in common.
  2. Heaven knows we don’t need any more actors or actresses. I’ve given some Oscar-worthy performances in my life and they left me with nothing.
  3. The secret of success is found in being who you are. Warning here, the world you live in probably has a cheap imitation to offer. If you’re not careful, you could be fooled.
  4. The world is starving for it. With so many people neck deep in their own kingdom building, people are looking for the “real thing.” Many wonder if it really exists any longer. Hope is found in authenticity.
  5. You could find out why God made you. How wonderful! This is a connection you shouldn’t underestimate.

The Balance Between Success and Failure

I strive every day to strike a good balance between success and failure.This TED Talk with Elizabeth Gilbert illustrates my striving beautifully.

The following quote from the speech is riveting:

“I had to find a way to make sure that my creativity survived its own success.”.

      – Elizabeth Gilbert

In an age that values creativity less and less, we do need to protect it fiercely.

 

Success at Life

I’ve always wanted to be a success at life. Even when I got off the path in younger years, I knew being a success at life would be important, if not essential.

I took a trip up to the balcony and looked down on the stage of my one-man show recently. It was a telling experience. In my core I am succeeding at life. Of course, no perfection and I always remember that I must keep it real everyday. I dare not forget this. Just the same, I was able to see how my life has been aligned and shaped for what I write here.

I don’t believe in security, comfort and ease. Even when I desire it, I realize those states are mirages. We were not made to set up our destiny based on what seems to be or what we wish for. There is a destiny made for us, and it doesn’t fight to own our souls. Real destiny calls out to us in a whisper. It is an invitation from God. Success at life provides the right canvas for our destiny to shine through.

The problem here in America is we keep trying to exhaust what we can find under the sun. History has seen this before. A population mesmerized by marketing and the physical. You’d think we were divine. I hate to be the rain on the parade. Life is a limited time opportunity.

“…the fierce urgency of now.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Price of Fame

The price of fame could be summed up in the following statement:

Everybody loves you when your famous…not really. It's just that many flock to whatever is the "new. This too shall pass."

In many parts of the world, being or getting famous is not difficult to do. If you strike certain notes you may even take off like a rocket. You can thank social media for this.

The reality is fame is a cost of doing what you do. It should never be a pursuit. If it is a pursuit then more than likely you're looking for something or some people to fill you up. The end of this road is often addiction.

In some of the roles I've played, I garnered much applause. The inevitable end always led to an empty auditoruim. It really felt quite embarassing. Think of unrequited love here. Thankfully, I found solid ground getting over it. I've learned the importance of just creating the best work you can.

Everything else is mostly distraction.

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Thoughts on Take the Stairs by Rory Vaden

Had a chance to dig into a new book recently titled Take the Stairs by Rory Vaden. The book takes a path I like, namely, it doesn't pull any punches. Rory makes it clear that if you want success you better be prepared to do the hard work, but in the end it's worth it and most truly successful people get this.

He also takes on our cultural norms (at least in America) and plays the true contrarian. Fortunately he doesn't leave you with long-winded diatribes. Solutions are found through-out the book. In the end, the resounding theme goes the direction of no easy path to true success. The following are some of the things I liked about Rory's insights:

  • He makes a suggestion to check email 3 times a day. I like that idea.
  • We shouldn't be so fixated with "should I." A better plan is to move forward and focus on how you can make something work.
  • Commitment is lacking in our age and its essential to making our success happen.
  • Get through the upfront pain of change and you'll be alright.
  • Procrastination is the enemy.

All-in-all the book is worth the read.

The 30 Day Breakthrough Experience and Me

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Last week I had the honor and privilege to take a group of people through the Take Time for Your Life 30 Day Breakthrough Plan.  We held the workshop part of the experience at a place called Sparkspace, which I highly recommend in a multitude of ways.  The second part of the experience for each person who attended is happening now and onto the achieving of a small goal in the next 30 days.

Without a doubt, I was inspired by the attendees last week.  But I've embarked on a 30 day breakthrough plan myself.  Somehow this makes the process much richer for me.  It moves me as a learner and as a facilitator.

I understand you might not be able to fully grasp what our 30 Day experience looks like if you haven't gone through the program, so see our page on Total Life Management to gain more understanding and learn what others experienced as well.

Now for the vulnerability part:

I have set a 30 day goal is to improve my approach and presentation with prospective clients of Epic Living.  I will do this by engaging them with my heart first and my head second.  I will measure this by having a trusted advisor/coach attend 2 business engagements with me to observe my presentations.  I will also provide examples of heart approaches versus head approaches for that advisor/coach.  Doing this will help me achieve my big goal of improving Epic Living's (Me) mission performance in the next 90-180 days.

The importance of me sharing this subject with you is to help me (hopefully you too) find a breakthrough.  If you're a subscriber reading this, a person who has attended an event where I was the speaker, a participant in a workshop I facilitated or some other connection, you know my sincerity and heart delivery.  My block has been with those who are not currently engaged with me.  In those settings I have, mistakenly, led with my head.  Translated, I've used old approaches designed to induce credibility and a corporatey persona.  In the spirit of giving me a greater chance to speak from the heart.  As you can imagine, that way of doing things feels awkward, canned and like I'm wearing another man's coat. 

So why did I choose this approach?  Fear.  Fear of not making the connection, mostly.  I won't drone on here because I now proceed to courage and doing someithing about the block.  In many ways this is a breakthrough unto itself.