Working Through the Insecurities

This is a re-post from earlier this year. It was timely for me, maybe for you too.

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If you’re a man or woman who sees vulnerability as a weakness, this post might not be for you. I still hope you’ll stick around as we work through the insecurities.

Insecurities are like demons or monsters that play the role of human disrupters. These creatures are always lurking in the shadows waiting for just the right moment to remind you and I of:

  • How we failed
  • How our work is not that great
  • How much smarter the guy or gal next to us is
  • How we’ll never be picked to play a major role
  • How we are not worth the love we long for

Now remember, this is a You and I post. We’re traveling together on this war-torn road. Scars and such are a given here.

In the arena of life, insecurities have most in an iron grip. They cast you in iron and demand you become a slave. Some are by design, some by accident. You don’t need to look any further than how medicated western culture is, and the eastern culture is heading there as well. Our relationships suffer and we can’t seem to sustain connection.We use what is found under the sun to distract us from looking at ourselves soberly. It’s an evil thing, our insecurities. I hate to admit it, you hate to admit it, but we are our own worst enemy.

I’m someone who has identified and dealt with most of my insecurities. I didn’t do this alone. I’ve had multiple advisors over the years to help. I’m blessed by their willingness to stick with me through my insecurities. Whether it was my bravado hiding my fear of what people thought of me, or my doubts regarding the quality of my work. They stayed beside me, despite the ugliness. This is love. My friends, most don’t stay. It can be messy, it can be hard work, and it can be embarrassing. Do you have people who will stick with you?

I figure I owe you the ugly side now. We’re a mess, and all of the pop-humanist thought isn’t going to change that. Billions on education, health, leadership, technology, and we’re still slipping away. So many hiding places, so little time. These places provide an escape from our insecurities. Take the man or woman who thinks a promotion or a relationship will fix what is haunting inside. There’s always another rung to climb, a person to possess. Eventually, we only have so many escapes before we get caught. Living under the sun is a rather subtle addiction. You just kind of do it.

So who’s going to clean up the mess?

I’m in this for the few (however many that may be) who decided not to ignore. If you count yourself in that group today, listen in and reach out to me. 

What I Need From a Leader

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I have influencers and so do you. So, the following are some traits I need from leaders in my life:

  • Integrity-a worn out word that represents our culture’s desperate desire for someone who is willing to do what’s right, no matter what. This is an area of choice. We choose to have integrity or we choose not to. By-the-way, integrity is not measured in degrees. You either have integrity or you don’t.
  • Creativity-this is not confined to the painter and musician. It’s the person who is engaged and willing to try new things. They also are not afraid of making mistakes or being laughed at.
  • Unimpressed-a trait where the person doesn’t care about titles, office locations or how many letters/words come after their names. I’m ok with the titles, I’m not ok with a leader who needs to wear a title like a name tag.
  • Humility-same as integrity in many ways. It also represents someone who has been hurt, someone who faced down adversity. These are what I call, “been to the edge” leaders.
  • Realism-an ability to dream and yet understand what is in front. A dreamer without realism is often a wanderer. Believe me, I have first-hand experience.
  • Vulnerability-one of the most difficult traits to live out, but essential in building real trust. I’m a work in progress in this regard. I’m glad to meet leaders who are focused on keeping it real and are willing to let me see the losses.
  • Giving-this is not only for charity, it is also related to a mindset. These are people who see other people as gifts from God and are willing to give them a chance.