well-being Archives - Page 3 of 6

Legacy: Your Life, Your Work, Your Story

28 March 2014March 27, 2014Eric

Gave a talk this week around the urgency of wellbeing and how legacy is impacted by our choices. Came away inspired to share this updated post from 2007, Legacy: Your Life, Your Work, Your Story.

There probably is no greater consequence to consider than what type of legacy we leave behind. The finality of our legacy can make you pause and contemplate the things you’ve said and done. There’s something in us that makes us realize that we are leaving a mark on this great planet-good or bad. And it is true that we all (rich and poor, young and old, learned and ignorant) have a legacy to account for. It’s ironic that many don’t even give it a second thought. Consider the words of Vaclav Havel:

“The tragedy of modern man is not that he knows less and less about the meaning of his own life, but that it bothers him less and less.”

If all there is to your work life is this quarter’s numbers or the year-end bonus, then legacy probably means little to you. If there is no cause or great battle to fight, then you probably think all this talk about legacy is “soft.” Because to think of legacy is to have vision, and we know vision is about seeing the unseen. But what’s really powerful is the fact that it is seen…it’s unfolding everyday before your very eyes. It’s a truth that everyone is shaping their legacy one day at a time.

Corporate slave traders need people who are willing, if not ignorantly, to exchange their freedom for the immediate issue at hand. See Wall Street to learn more. They need you to be fixated on concerns that can be solved in meetings and handled by committees. They want your mind on the work…for as long as they can use you. They want you intoxicated by that corner office and all that it means, even if it means nothing at all. If you’re not thinking about legacy, then you are just a means to an end. Even if you’re covered in the finest of the fine.

Here are some things to consider when making the turn to legacy:

Don’t expect the crowd to applaud. Rarely does this happen, and the truth is you don’t need it. You need to make your story the best it can be, not the most popular.
Living a life of legacy requires you to think about eternity. Take a look at the opening scene below from the movie Gladiator:

If you value freedom, remember your story is the most important one.
Search for someone (spouse, brother, sister, mentor, priest, colleague) who wants this life for you and let them spur you on.
Read Success Built To Last and be inspired by others who share your desire.

Happiness Pursuing You

20 March 2014March 20, 2014Eric

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless skies, my love
To the dark and the endless skies

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move in my hands
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love
That was there at my command, my love

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time, my love
And it will last till the end of time, my love

The first time ever I saw your face, your face
Your face, your face

You may or may not recall the above classic, written by Ewan McColl. The lyrics are moving. I recently purchased George Michael’s Symphonica compilation. He performs a version. It is truly beautiful and it got me thinking.

What if happiness is pursuing us?

There’s no doubt in those lyrics we find someone moved and happy. I can relate. In my mind, happiness calls out saying; “hey Eric, I’m here.” Funny how in a given day we can ignore this quiet voice. We’ve arrived in a time of ignoring. Trading so much for accumulation, power and applause. Yet most say happiness is the thing missing most.

As it has been many times in my life, I’ve decided to go the other way. Tonight, I asked my wife, as the song inspired me, to recall a time when she was happy with me. We recalled times, places and feelings. I’ve been married close to 23 years and it feels like yesterday. What blows my mind, is how I found myself agreeing with George Michael’s voice in the song. I found myself repeating, “he’s right, it did, and does, feel as he describes.”

I’ve missed some things over my span. Some of those things were large and some small, but the dance of life finds me here and I now recognize the voice of happiness. Better yet, I know I need to respond to that voice. Not many things are as important.

Are you willing to let happiness pursue you?

Being Real

18 March 2014March 18, 2014Eric

In many ways being social is an open door to being real. Ever wonder why many don’t go that route? More and more, being social is an open door to being a fake.

The most prominent way of being social in 2014 is found online. We have portals like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn that are rooted in the idea of social networking. These tools give people the ability to tell their story. As you know, the motivations vary from job-hunting, PR, to show boating. Everyone has a voice.

So why aren’t we more real?

In time past (pre-social media), most of us were known by a limited audience. Usually, the span was friends, family and the people we went to school or worked with. This network usually found out about your stuff via phone or getting together in the flesh. In those situations you had a pretty small universe to shine. This probably kept us, for the most part, humble. And humility is what’s missing now.

“Marketing is a lie, so we can tell ourselves a lie, that we desperately want to believe.” – Author Unknown

Fast forward to the now and we have a completely different ball game. Now we’re obsessed by how many likes we get, how many followers we have or who’s in our network. All this for the sake of a lie. Many don’t even know it’s a lie. We’ve watered down truth so much, that we can’t tell the difference. Our endless pursuit of validation and success (defined by a culture in decline) rips apart truth, and the identity it reveals. I equate true identity to being real, no matter the cost. There is no bigger a lie than a life wearing a mask.

If you’re longing for more, then the crossroads is near to your view.

I find it amazing that the world is starving for the real and we stay fixated on the proposition. I’ve made this mistake:

Presenting my story the way I thought I should
Taking engagements because I thought it would make me more viable
Partnering with rock stars because I thought we stood for the same things
Being scared of what people might think
Trusting snakes disguised as angels

Being real is a risk-filled offer. After years of getting this down in my head and my heart, there is no other alternative. Risk is a very reasonable price to pay for such a pay-off as becoming the real thing. The most important part is you’ll start to venture into what lies over the sun . The activities of manipulating just to make a short-term gain, posing as someone you’re not and using people to move your needle will be exposed as a waste of time you don’t have.

Being real is the start of epic living.

You’re Crazy, Eric

28 February 2014February 28, 2014Eric

Many times over the last ten years I’ve been called crazy. What exactly does that mean? I mean, “you’re crazy, Eric.” I believe it was code for “what if you fail?”

I’ve made it a point to learn how to read communication of the non-verbal variety. It has helped me cut through the fog and certainly the BS. By the way, you can apply this to yourself personally. I’ve created a lot of fog and BS in my own head before. Whenever I’ve been called crazy, it often has spurred me on. Almost like treasure map with clues. Imagine, “when you hear this, do that.”

Not every bet pays off. We all would do well to remember that the “house” is called the house for a reason. Even so, a little craziness, a little chaos is essential to moving to a life worth living. In my experience, I would never have taken the risks I’ve taken without those twins. I would have hidden behind my citadel and played it safe. Craziness and chaos forced me into a path that hurt, and created in me an Epic Life. A strange dichotomy, I know.

On those nights when I’d awaken at 2 AM, and wonder if I really had lost my mind, there was always his voice saying keep going…just keep going. This is important. You are going to encounter a dismantling during your steps, it is inevitable. Don’t believe the crowd or your own doubts when you wonder if you have lost your mind. Finding life over the sun might be the most challenging pursuit you’ll ever undertake.

Here are some reasons why I advocate the beauty of crazy:

Those who are not crazy are typically medicated and just wanting relief from a life that has no meaning at all
If you walk away from your craziness, you’ll find no one willing to follow
Maybe you’ve seen this clip? It strikes a good chord here
If you haven’t gotten into the habit of taking risks, time will rob you of that desire, and time doesn’t give refunds. Start small and start now
No one has truly lost by being crazy. People who live their lives to hide are the losers

I am thankful for the craziness.

10 Reasons I Practice Yoga

4 February 2014February 4, 2014Eric

Yoga. There are so many benefits in practicing yoga, I could stop here and let you do your own research. But I won’t do that because I want to give you some insight into my experiences with yoga. Here are some random thoughts:

Yoga has improved my blood pressure
Yoga has help center me
Yoga has sharpened my focus on the personhood of God
Yoga has built my strength and flexibility
Yoga has quieted my obsessive mind
Yoga has helped my overall wellbeing
Yoga has played a major role in my epic living
Yoga has challenged me mentally, physically and spiritually
Yoga has helped me see the importance of nutrition
Yoga has become a habit

I am no where close to being a master of this art. I am, however evidence of the power that comes from practicing yoga. Talk to your doctor about the risks and rewards, then start slow.

All or Nothing

21 January 2014January 18, 2014Eric

(photo courtesy of fitnessblackbook.com)

Typically, when you read the words all or nothing, thoughts of bravado and persistence come to mind. I would agree with that. All or nothing has a clear ring of commitment. Who wouldn’t be for that. In my case, the all or nothing thing has been a blessing and a curse. More than a few times in my journey I should have accepted half, instead of holding out for the all. I pray and work diligently to stay on the blessing side for obvious reasons.

The tricky part is found in the riddle life can be. Often our lives are not big moments where we stare down the big obstacle. Most of life is found in the small and the daily. Maybe the film industry has sucked us in. Too many epic stories of heroics and near-calamity events.

When you look around, where are the greatest challenges? I suspect they can be found here:

Relationships in the personal and business
Negative thinking
Deep insecurities
Fear
The longing for love

I could add many more to the above list, and certainly, an all or nothing stand might be needed in some of those. However, it’s the moments of wrestling with, fighting with and embracing with that are where we need more art.

I’m down with the all or nothing of life. I’m even more down with the daily management of the small things that are really quite big too. If we don’t get the small and daily things right, we won’t be ready when an all or nothing stand is required.

5 Reasons to Be Creative

14 January 2014January 14, 2014Eric

I overheard a conversation with an adult family member yesterday. He was lamenting the sad reality of a creative’s existence. You’ve probably heard it before:

“They’re starving, and all artists starve.”

Funny how those who complain about the creative’s plight, often are big admirers of art (life, parenting, music, painting, cinema, etc.). So what gives? Is it really about starving and doing without? Is it really a dance with insanity to do what only seems to make sense to you?

As someone who tried to close and lock the door to my creative wiring, the wiring never goes away. I finally accepted it and learned to celebrate it. That was a crucial awakening.

For those who say retirement, promotions and prestige are the keys to a fulfilling life, that game is already been called.

Here are my 5 reasons to be creative:

The age of the doer is over. Just like many types of change, an age ends before the mass knows and feels it.
You were created to be creative. Not everyone will be a Miles Davis or Daniel Day-Lewis, but everyone has it in them if they are courageous enough to act on it.
Our collective wellbeing is calling out for this-desperately.
The status quo won’t seem so appealing.
Living over the sun will make a lot more sense.

What are some of your reasons for being creative?

The Eighth Called Family

20 February 2013February 20, 2013Eric

I thought this would a post worth repeating, considering Monday's post on parenting.

Ask almost anyone you know about how important family is and I'm sure you'll get a unanimous "very." Obviously, not everyone's family looks or acts the same. Nor does the importance factor apply to all assoicated. But one thing's for sure, whether it's a mother, a child or a wife, family is very important to most. It's a heart thing like no other.

Then why is it so ignored and why is it a struggle to manage?

My experience says we live in an age of what we feel versus what we do. It's a dangerous yet romantic exercise. On one hand we think and feel the emotional high of family, and on the other we trample them under the foot of our pursuits. I haven't even mentioned the hard work that is found in family relationships. Not many a newlywed is interested in hearing that the man lying next them will often leave the toilet seat up or have a serious problem with resolving conflict.

So all of this leads us to the question of; is there a way to manage and nurture family and still be able to have all the other stuff of life balance out? Absolutely! But you'd best do this before they (employer, business partners, schooling) start passing around the kool-aid. Very difficult to turn around if you've sold your soul. That said, it's never too late. It's never too late to properly order your life around the 8 areas of life. It takes courage and commitment, but it's never too late start the journey. I'm always fascinated by the trickery we play in our heads. For example, "I'm not smart enough" or "I'm too old." If you truly want this life to be well, then the excuses have to stop. And with all the obstacles I believe.

So what's this "properly ordered life look like? Quite simply, you integrate the 8 areas of life into your daily existence. You won't be perfect and it is tough work. However, there is one result I know you'll appreciate; a life well-lived. And for the sake of this post, your family will be as healthy as your career, your money, etc.

The Impact of Parenting

18 February 2013February 18, 2013Eric

I've been married for almost twenty-two years, fourteen of that as a parent. I am in the camp that can't believe that much time has gone by. It really feels like yesterday for all of the roles-husband and father.

Maybe like you, you have a child that participates in an activity or two. My two, are into dance and basketball. It's in those environments that I observe much. What has struck me in this new year is the impact of parenting. Specifically, when it fails and damages the child. No psych analysis here, just observations that are vivid if you look close enough.

Many children are trying to thrive in the midst of chaos and pain.

We here in America place a lot of pressure on children. From education to athletics, we want them to succeed. Even though most adults have a difficult time defining what true success is. Just the same, we put a lot of pressure on them.

Now add a broken family to the insanity.

For the life of me, I have no idea how we will survive this. I pray often on this. Most cultures don't survive what we've laid at our children's feet. A thirteen or 16 year-old is supposed to be able to handle divorce, grades, hormones, and the list goes on? And as you know, many of these children are alone in the management of the list.

Here's what I'm doing with my children:

Pissing off a business partner when I have to take my son to basketball practice
Sending myself a note via my iPhone everyday that reminds me to affirm
Showing them how much I love their mother
Laughter and humor
Pray everyday for their needs

By the way, the above list used to be very alien to me. It took serious change in my life to move me forward. I am thankful.

5 Things I Haven’t Forgotten

28 January 2013January 28, 2013Eric

The following are 5 things I haven't forgotten along the way of my travels:

It will be my life that will be measured in eternity. God won't be spending 60% of his time with me asking about my career and money choices. It'll be a part of the conversation, just not as big as it often can be in this world.
Relationships are hard work. In America, we have this obsession with ease and pleasure. In some areas this is totally appropriate. In a relationship (you fill in the blank) ease and pleasure come as a result of the hard work. It's hard work because anything worth your time should require something big from you.
I can't fix or save anybody. All I can do is offer with encouragement and kindness. The choice to do something is totally out of my control. After watching many of my family members experience the affects of alcohol and drug abuse, I know this well.
Change is a part of life and you'd better be prepared to face ridicule for embracing it. I never had as much peace as when I was in the box that many had grown comfortable with. Some of this is people getting used to change, but the remainder is from the "crowd." I now understand that the two are intertwined.
I don't have to have all the answers.