All or Nothing

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(photo courtesy of fitnessblackbook.com)

Typically, when you read the words all or nothing, thoughts of bravado and persistence come to mind. I would agree with that. All or nothing has a clear ring of commitment. Who wouldn’t be for that. In my case, the all or nothing thing has been a blessing and a curse. More than a few times in my journey I should have accepted half, instead of holding out for the all. I pray and work diligently to stay on the blessing side for obvious reasons.

The tricky part is found in the riddle life can be. Often our lives are not big moments where we stare down the big obstacle. Most of life is found in the small and the daily. Maybe the film industry has sucked us in. Too many epic stories of heroics and near-calamity events.

When you look around, where are the greatest challenges? I suspect they can be found here:

  • Relationships in the personal and business
  • Negative thinking
  • Deep insecurities
  • Fear
  • The longing for love

I could add many more to the above list, and certainly, an all or nothing stand might be needed in some of those. However, it’s the moments of wrestling with, fighting with and embracing with that are where we need more art.

I’m down with the all or nothing of life. I’m even more down with the daily management of the small things that are really quite big too. If we don’t get the small and daily things right, we won’t be ready when an all or nothing stand is required.

5 Reasons to Be Creative

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I overheard a conversation with an adult family member yesterday. He was lamenting the sad reality of a creative’s existence. You’ve probably heard it before:

“They’re starving, and all artists starve.”

Funny how those who complain about the creative’s plight, often are big admirers of art (life, parenting, music, painting, cinema, etc.). So what gives? Is it really about starving and doing without? Is it really a dance with insanity to do what only seems to make sense to you?

As someone who tried to close and lock the door to my creative wiring, the wiring never goes away. I finally accepted it and learned to celebrate it. That was a crucial awakening.

For those who say retirement, promotions and prestige are the keys to a fulfilling life, that game is already been called.

Here are my 5 reasons to be creative:

  1. The age of the doer is over. Just like many types of change, an age ends before the mass knows and feels it.
  2. You were created to be creative. Not everyone will be a Miles Davis or Daniel Day-Lewis, but everyone has it in them if they are courageous enough to act on it.
  3. Our collective wellbeing is calling out for this-desperately.
  4. The status quo won’t seem so appealing.
  5. Living over the sun will make a lot more sense.

What are some of your reasons for being creative?

My Top Wellbeing Finds for 2013

Tis the season for year-end lists, so here are my top wellbeing finds (the type that impacted me) 2013.

  1. Facio. Facio is a cloud-based tool to help you stay on track with your happiness. It also has some corporate functionality too, if you are so inclined. The founder of the company has a pretty inspiring story too.
  2. Jot Script Stylus. Adonit has made one of the best stylus tools out there-at least for me. I’m a big user of Evernote and Penultimate. The Jot Script stylus works beautifully on my iPad and has helped my efficiency.
  3. Yoga. This one is perpetually on my year-end lists. The practice of yoga has made such a difference in my wellbeing.
  4. Daily calendar affirmations. I started the habit of using a calendar reminder relating to affirming my family. It truly is a pouring out of me into them dance.
  5. Pecans. A nut with so much to offer in the way of nutrition and overall health. Go organic, if you can here.
  6. 2010 L’Ecole No. 41 Syrah. You can do the research for yourself on the health benefits of red wine, and this bottle is downright magical.
  7. Charles Swindoll. This guy’s thinking and voice have been a constant for me, especially in 2013.
  8. Music from the soundtrack of Arbitrage. Cliff Martinez has scored quite a few movies. This one really struck me, for reflection and writing. I liked the movie too.

5 Questions with Rebecca Black of Pretty Little Celiac

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I had the pleasure of interviewing Rebecca Black of Pretty Little Celiac this month and she has some great insights on health and wellbeing. Rebecca’s experience with Celiac Disease will encourage and enlighten you.

 

Celiac Disease has become more and more prevalent here in the U.S. Is it a trend that can be reversed naturally?

Celiac can’t be reversed but the symptoms are manageable with a strict gluten-free diet. Diagnosing celiac is such a huge problem for our country and after attending the International Celiac Disease Symposium in Chicago this year, I learned how much other countries are ahead of us in researching and treating the disease. Celiac disease has been around for a long time but no one can really pin point why it is becoming more prevalent. There are many theories and possibilities but there really isn’t a firm answer to the question. I am interested to see what medical and research advances come our way in the next 5 years. But, I can say the only way to truly manage celiac disease is to maintain a gluten free diet. If you are absolutely 100% positive you are maintaining a gluten free diet but still continue to struggle with other symptoms, it might be time to look into other issues that may be occurring. Unfortunately, other auto-immune diseases hang out together and it is likely that another could be causing you distress.

How are you helping people get control of their physical wellbeing?

One of the things I preach the most is being educated about your own condition and going into doctor’s appointments armed with information. Being able to clearly describe your symptoms and history, only helps the doctor accurately diagnose you. Being educated also helps when you have people trying to challenge your diagnosis or choice to live gluten-free. The people who say “Oh, a bite won’t kill you” are less likely to continue to badger you if you explain how the disease affects your body.

I keep a running document on my computer of my medical history. It includes dates of diagnoses, test results, inaccurate diagnoses, prescription and non prescription medication, dates of last appointments and tests along with all of the previous doctor’s information. We just moved out of state and I’m now in the process of finding all new doctors. This document is a time saver and a life saver in the doctor’s office because I can clearly and quickly give my medical history. This leaves more time to talk about my current issues, tests to be ordered and any other concerns that might be going on. Every single doctor appreciated the document and said it was extremely helpful to review prior to the appointment. I’m an advocate for self-advocacy!

I had a friend who told me she believed the obesity problem in the developed world is more mental than physical. Do you think our view (mental and emotional) of food is distorted? 

Oh man! What a hot topic! Obesity, weight loss, major diet changes/restrictions are all very mentally taxing. These are things people struggle with over a lifetime and it’s only a matter of time for it to take a toll on our mental health. But, when we forget about that component and focus only on the physical aspect, we are bound to fail. It takes a strong and determined person to say enough is enough and really try to make conscious changes to improve their life. I just wish more people understood how psychologically challenging it really can be.

I have so many experiences on this coming from a child welfare, fitness and gluten-free back ground. I could spend all day talking to you on my thoughts of obesity. I absolutely believe our relationship with food in this country is distorted, just like our relationship with our bodies. We’ve been brainwashed by marketing companies and the FDA to believe everything in the grocery store is safe and perfectly okay to eat. We see models on magazines and on social media posting about how awesome their lives because they use ‘xyz’ products. The cycle of processed and cheap junk food starts as a child and continues on into adulthood.

While there certainly are medical conditions that can cause weight gain and obesity, we have to sit down and really think about the fundamentals of our diet. We are so focused on quick and easy that we forget many of those ingredients aren’t meant for our body. Some of our bodies don’t process the artificial ingredients and “food like” substances as well as others. But, the companies make compelling arguments to make us believe their food is safe and not the cause of health problems. It really isn’t until people stop consuming those foods and start to feel better that it finally clicks. Not only does their body feel better, but their minds start to understand the changes.

Have any tasty recipes you’d like to share?

Speaking of fast food and food issues, I loved Chick Fil-A’s chicken nuggets prior to going gluten free so I decided top play around with a recipe and create my own. They didn’t taste exactly the same, but they were close!

Gluten-Free Chick-fil-a Style Chicken Nuggets

Ingredients:

3 Free Range Chicken Breasts

3/4 cup of dill pickle juice

1 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of pepper

1 teaspoon of garlic salt

2 Eggs

1 cup of lactose free milk

1 cup of Gluten Free Flour

1/2 cup of Peanut oil

How to cook:

1.Clean chicken and cut chicken into small cubes.

2.Marinate:  combine pickle juice, milk and eggs.  Shake in some salt and pepper or substitute.

Place cubed chicken into marinate and refrigerate for 2-4 hours.

3. Add flour, salt and pepper, garlic salt into plastic bag.  Put cube chicken into bag.  Shake until chicken is covered.  If small bag, you can do this multiple times.

4. Heat peanut oil in frying pan, on medium to medium high.  Wait until oil is hot, and place layer a chicken in the pan.  Heat 3 to 4 minutes on each side.  The longer on each side the crisper the nuggets.

5. Place finished nuggets on paper towel to soak up excess oil.

6. Salt and pepper to taste.

 Change is a disruptor, what’s your advice on managing the process associated?

Change is inevitable in our lives but over time certain skills can help manage the process more effectively and successfully. When I was first diagnosed with celiac disease, the last few years finally started to make sense but I wasn’t willing to accept all of the changes I needed to make. It was overwhelming. Looking back on that experience, I believe everyone can benefit from 2 major things when it comes to change.

1. Take time to grieve the loss, especially if it is a major change. Even a positive change needs time to process. We can’t expect for everything to be okay over night. We recently moved out of state for a wonderful reason, but I still struggled with the major change. I needed to stop and spend some time being okay with the sadness. It’s a normal process!

2. Write out your journey. I started Pretty Little Celiac out of a mental health necessity after my diagnosis. I needed way to process my thoughts and this was the perfect outlet. I chose to throw myself into education and helping others along with journaling my experiences. I’m so happy I did! But, you don’t have to share your adventures with the world, a journal would be just as efficient but much more private. It’s also neat to go back and look at the space you were in and how far you’ve come (or not).

Of course everyone has their own individual way of coping with change and I think both of these suggestions can fit into any method you already use. The problem is usually taking your mind outside of the current experience and seeing it from a neutral perspective. That’s always the most challenge part of processing change and that’s why I think writing or journaling is the perfect way  to start that process.

 

Rebecca Black is one of the leading health and fitness experts in central Ohio and built a brand appealing to all demographics aspiring to lead a healthy lifestyle by using fun and customized approaches to health and fitness.  Every week she motivates the thousands of followers she gathered on her personal blog, Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites, as well as at her fitness studio, Bexa Body Fitness.  Bexa Body Fitness is a premier fitness studio located in Westerville, Ohio

The Trouble with Entitlement

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Had a bit of an epiphany last night about entitlement. Specifically, the trouble with entitlement and what it leads too. This post is about human beings. The government issues are for different writers out their in the blogosphere.

The trouble with entitlement is it connects directly with a nasty habit called taking things for granted.

In my world, I often hear family and friends decry taking things for granted. Most of the motivation for this comes from all of us getting the unexpected/shocking news of someone dying or someone losing something valuable. The list includes family, friends, health, and much more. You know the old saying around you don’t know what you have until its gone.

I believe taking things for granted has an evil twin, and his name is entitlement. Entitlement is a deadly trap on multiple fronts. The biggest relates to a since that I’m owed something. For example, I was downloading an update to some software last week. In that process, there was a failure. I had to start over. I caught myself saying something like, “this is not supposed to happen, I don’t have time to wait on this.” Humanly speaking, we’ve all been in that situation. The ugly truth is I felt entitled to technology working the way I wanted. So the story goes.

Our words may not utter what is really going on inside, but we do walk around with this idea that:

  • “I’m supposed to have smart, successful children.”
  • “I’m supposed to have a spouse who will not cheat.”
  • “I’m supposed to have health that doesn’t fail.”
  • “I’m supposed to have a career that lasts forever.”
  • “You’re supposed to be there when I need you.”

I’m sure you could add to the above. The truth is we’re not entitled to much. Most of what we have (Life) are gifts. Seems to me, thankfulness should overrule our attitude of entitlement. Imagine what impact that would have on our wellbeing.

Who Gave You Permission?

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I’m sure you remember the term, who gave you permission, from grade school. Permission is important. It’s important even if you don’t realize it.

We give permission every day of our lives. Permission to market to us, permission to engage, permission to listen, and so much more. Have you thought about who truly has the right to speak into your life? Who have you given permission in this area? I mean your life.

Who has the authority?

I’m blessed because so many of you have given me permission to speak into your lives. Included in this are my coaching clients and others who seek my input. I firmly believe the reason why this happens is experience. I don’t speak to things I haven’t encountered and grappled with. I would even say, conquered. That process and a mission, gives me authority.

Be careful with who you give permission to. Your journey is far too important to trust to those who want what is yours, versus you. The following are some tips on knowing who deserves a chance to receive your permission:

  • Does the person or entity have the experience to help you? Formal education with a piece of paper is great, but there’s nothing quite like scars from going through the fire you’re going through. You can take a chance on someone who hasn’t, just keep your eyes wide open and no when to call it a day.
  • Are they in a hurry? Anyone that can’t wait for you to process and feel right about the decision, is usually just selling something.
  • Is the product right? Be honest with yourself. Giving permission, just because you think it’s the proper thing to do will usually deliver disappointment. There was a time when I wanted desperately for things to go a certain way. In that process, I bought many a product/service/marketing I believed would deliver the magic. I wasn’t being honest with myself.
  • What’s there response when you explain that you’re not ready yet? This will tell you a lot.
  • Do you know what you want? Certainly, there are many wolves out there. Don’t make it worse by being a wanderer.

The Deal on Money

I haven’t dedicated much space here on the subject of money. The deal on money for me is pretty straightforward:

  1. Give 10%, Invest 10% and live on the remaining 80%
  2. Don’t chase money

Number one is a guideline and number two is a non-negotiable.

The deal on money is also about the crazy stuff people will do to get it. And by the way, it applies to the poor and the rich. Equal opportunity stuff in every shape and form. For example, some pro athletes make multi-millions over a short period of time and many will end up broke a few years after retirement. All that chasing for what? Crazy.

Focus on creating great art and work. Money always follows that, sometimes in a wierd way, but eventually it will. Good financial wellbeing is found here.

The Fog

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Had a conversation with my wife last week, indirectly about the fog that comes with life. The conversation was my wife talking and me listening. I learned a lot about her and I learned a lot about myself.

So what about this fog?

In that conversation with my wife, she expressed her unhappiness with the current state of things. Normal. It wasn't about our marriage, but the fog of life. The Circumstances that press against us. Since I've got a good pulse of who's out there, I know you feel me. We concluded once again that life is tough work. Regardless of what you hear from _______, life is tough work.

When she finished and we moved on, I asked myself why I'm often not fazed by the fog thing. All of sudden a rush of memories came over me. I started 40 years backward. Each one checking a box. I came away not just knowing, but understanding.

It is abundantly clear that I have had a life checkered with fog (tragedies, struggles, crossroads, etc.). I'm sure, upon reflection, you might say the same. The point is not about which is better. Even though, in America, many have duped into believing that the best life is the one absent of problems. We act in a manner that says this is true. One thing is clear for me. A good part of my life has been shaped by my fog. I seriously doubt that I would be doing what I do, if it wasn't for those crucibles. I am thankful.

My understanding today is we need to see fog as clear. Real life is found here.

Have You Seen This Movie?

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There's a blockbuster movie playing right now. Have you seen this movie? Don't get me wrong, the movie may not be your cup of tea. You may hate it. You may love it.

It's your life.

My reel has been going on for some time now. So many roles and so many questions. The challenge is you can't sit back with a bowl of popcorn and see it unfold. Other people can, though.

Enter Brian.

Brian told me the other week that he's been watching my movie. He gave me confirmation of what I hoped was unfolding (significance versus success). I think I nodded and thanked him with a level of awkwardness. The awkwardness came from my recollection of the times that I screwed up. Those scenes you'd rather have left on the cutting room floor. I still walked away, just the same, happy for the glimpse.

Do you have someone who can tell you what your movie has been like? Here's the trick, if you walk around like a dead man or woman, most people will have a hard time remembering anything you've created. I'm struck by how our world allows human beings to walk around like a zombies.

Make a movie worth seeing.

Are You An Entrepreneur Yet?

One of my coaching clients sent me this article on entrepreneurism. Specifically, the coming change in our workplace landscape. Many would say we're under way and I agree. The article includes a telling infographic as well.

So what are you doing about the shift? No drastic measures needed (maybe), just some hard looking and processing. One of the best ways to do this is written planning. Brainstorm the thing and ask lots of questions. By the way, throw the glamour, riches and elation around your employer out the window. This is about your work (the unique talents, gifts and passions forged into one), not your career, not your 401K.

I've written about this topic for some time. It was nice to have a client forward on an article of this magnitude. It encouraged me and it made me realize the work still to be done.