Tag: work

Why Going Back Doesn’t Work

Road Back 

I recently posted on our Facebook Fan Page the following question:

Why didn't Neo go back into the Matrix?

If you've seen the Matrix, you probably have the answer.  But what's fascinating is how readily we can be to going back to something that doesn't exist anymore.  I guess you could say Neo was super-human and therefore had the stamina to keep going forward.  I think it's more that his eyes were opened and he was caught by the fire of his purpose.

One of the first steps of any journey is to define the purpose (the reason you're here).  Without purpose you're nothing more than a wonderer.  I didn't fully define my purpose until I crossed my personal Rubicon.  I was well under way by that time.  Regardless, it was key in helping me understand the dangers of trying to go back.

We are in a battle, you and I.  The present and the future are unfolding.  There are problems to solve and the resistance is great.

Here are 7 reasons why going back won't work:

  1. When you think about going back, it's usually accompnained by a false-sense that what's behind you was secure.  Revisionism gives us the luxury of telling ourselves lies.  We live in a world that is insecure.  This presents great opportunity too.
  2. Our lifetime is made up of multiple lifetimes.  This means there will be beginnings and endings.  Even the best situations were never made to go on and on.  Freedom is found in letting this happen.
  3. Sometimes God will blow-up that place we romanticize about in-order to get us to the better future we really want.  This is tough to accept.
  4. People and organizations move on.  It's not that you couldn't make it work.  But often you're growth means it wouldn't be a fit.  You should just let someone else have a turn.
  5. Our tendency to avoid loss keeps us lamenting about the "one that got away."  The feeling of liberation that failure can be should be tried.  By the way, Derek Rose misses about 58% of his shots.  So what are you afraid of?
  6. Our best work is ahead of us.  Some call it evolution, some call it progression, either way you should be embracing the work that is here and ahead.
  7. We get comfortable and that is the first step to missing our destiny.  The past provides great perceived comfort.  Mostly because we play the part of writer, producer and director.  Be uncomfortable before someone/something makes you that way.

How Do You Know When The World Has Changed?

Do you know the signs of a changed world?  Apply this to your personal sphere and the larger world too.  Are there certain events or thoughts that trigger this for you?  Maybe it was conversation with a friend or a book from a visionary.  Each of us should remember the where, when and how.  But what if you've got the notice, but decided to ignore it?

Now we're talking about being weighed in the scales of life.

Our lives will be measured by what we are willing to see and what we're willing to act on.  My experience tells me this is not a favorite place for many to be.  Ironic, since it's where the better life, the better future and the better work is found.

 

Career Fear Factor

3 Headed Dog 

 

"You are caught by what you are running from." – Sam Keen

 

Does losing your job or not finding a job scare you?  For many, the answer would be yes.  Now if it’s just a passing thought don’t pass out.  I'm speaking of preoccupation and consistent fear.  Most people have, at one time or another, considered the reality.  In 2011 the reality of this type of change is real-for better or worse.  But do you manage your career and life around that fear? 

 

I’ve seen leaders make decisions because they were calculating the most foreboding scenarios.  The great fear of job loss controls their every move.  This motivation produces mediocre results, and even worse, an absence of credibility with those that follow.  And since leaders who hold high positions of power are human, they lead by fear and hope for the best.  Sadly, many leaders and managers infect the very people they're supposed to help.  So what was once a singular issue is now organizational.

 

Human beings are skilled at setting up their own kingdoms…complete with impregnable walls and barbed wire fences.  We think we're in control.  The higher an individual climbs in their respective organization, the more tempting it will become to try to control everything.  That’s why organizations are “certifiable” for not catching their people early in the process.  For example, teaching them about holistic leadership and the danger fear-based living presents.

 

If you desire something great (something that leaves you, your family, other people, and your health intact) from a career, then you’re gonna have to risk.  Maybe even risk that very career you're hold onto so tightly.  I'm a much better human being, leader, entrepreneur because of the risks I've taken.  The risks have not always worked out in my favor, but there is no way I would have become what I am without those risks.

 

Better to get ahead of your fears, before they claim you.

What Failure May Really Mean

There is no doubt that we here in America are success obsessed.  In some ways it makes total sense.  Everyone desires to see positive results from what we put our lives into.  Not everyone measures it the same, but the desire remains.  But in this frame, I'm focusing on the kind of success that we tie our self-worth and identity to.  It is a problem-a big one.

I don't intend to unwrap the root cause of this success obsession.  However, I want to point out how the problem blocks us from breakthroughs.  Somewhere along the continuum, we bought some very expensive lies.  For example, you understand what failure means in the land of of success obsession.  It is to be avoided at all costs and you are to stay away from anything or anyone who has the unfortunate luck of experiencing it.  This is a big mistake to make because the road to breakthrough is paved, in part, by failure.

What if failure is a house of experiements?  What if failure is a refining fire for character and integrity?  What if no true success can come without a significant amount of failure?  I see great value in experiments, integrity and true success.  This column from Sir James Dyson really sets a good tone on this.

 

The Career Divorce

Scales of Justice 
First, this is not a post on marriage.  But it might help your marriage/relationship.

Have you ever considered filing for divorce, from your career in this context?  I don't mean resigning or changing employers.  Though that could be a good thing.  But I'm speaking of putting your career back to its rightful place.  The ending of allowing this segment to dominate the others.

What if your career can only be great when it stays its proper size/dimension?

What I'm advocating is counter-culture and is very difficult to pull off-especially in places where work is an altar to be worshiped at.  The secret is to get the "divorce thing" early or get hurt.  I didn't get it early and I got hurt.  My hope is I'm catching you at that early stage or in the midst of your hurting.

Here are some things to consider regarding your career's place in your wheel of life:

  1. Very rarely will you find an employer that REALLY wants you to have life-balance.  Though it flies in the face of proven research, employers are still drunk on profit-first.  Nothing wrong with profit, but getting drunk can and does kill.  Given this, why not stop being in awe and work on becoming irreplaceable.  That way, you won't fall into the trap of being in a slave/slave-master relationship with your employer.  You really are helping the organization when you have this mind-set.
  2. Start practicing total life management.  We can help here.  I have found that way too many people feel they can leave parts of their lives on auto pilot.  It's not a case that people want to do this, they're either afraid or unsure of where to turn.  I wrote this piece last week about our issues around trust.  Think of it like your car; all cylinders need to be working properly and together to get you to where you want to go.
  3. Small is a very big word.  Start small and end great.  Set small goals, conduct small expeiments, find celebration and victory in the small things.  What you're actually doing is moving yourself toward your "big" thing.  Most confuse thinking big with the process of getting there.
  4. It's not too late for a turn-around.  Unless, you don't think you're worth it.  Which would be crazy to think considering your DNA.  This is very important if you're further along in the race.  See #3 for further encouragement.
  5. At some point, sooner or later, your life will have the final say.  Listen to your life.

How Long Will It Last?

Roads 

 

When you consider where you and your options for a great life are at, how long do think you have to get things in order?  In other words, how long before you move forward with looking at your life as the thing you manage and not just your career, your money or your spiritual?

You wouldn't need to ask many people to find out that the majority feels out of balance.  Many have made a deal with themselves to pick and choose what they will pay attention to.  A game of pretend where you believe that ignoring will make everything okay.  A warning may have been given, from a doctor or counselor, that was designed to shake the slumber.  But fear or insecurity continues its dominance.

This all makes sense in so many ways.  Where do you go?  Who do you turn to?  What's the right pathway back or out?

For better or worse we have a trust issue running through our modern day world.  It almost feels like you need the CIA to find out who really cares-in business and out.  I can't solve this, but I can be a source of consistent truth and encouragement.  My contribution to you and your journey.  The bottom line is you need help in making sense of your whole life.  Any successful life warrior I've ever met always had help.  It is this help that is truly a difference-maker.  A way to a breakthrough.

But what if you look away?  What if you tell yourself that it's too big of a mountain to change?  What if you believe the promises of your employer?  I would ask that you consider remembering the following:

    All of the disease, dysfunction, stress, and unhappiness would not be such a big deal if ignoring your whole life was a viable solution.  Employers wouldn't still be grappling with engagement and performance if relying on half-a-person to do the work that only a full person could do, was a viable solution.

The DNA Seminar

Human eye 
The following is an updated post I wrote a few years ago.  Subject matter is still relevant and the problem is still pervasive.  Leaders/managers hear the bell.

A friend of my wife's lost his job this past Monday.  It was done in the name of saving costs.  Yes, at one time or the other you're a cost.  No promises, right?  It's a tough situation that is only made worse by organizations who make lots of promises.

Funny thing is the group he worked in was just started a year ago.  How can you know in twelve months whether something will fly? 

So what to do when Mommy and Daddy fly?  Sorry for the flippant reaction, but this guy just moved here from the west.  Why not use some candor and tell the employees that the organization isn't sure about the prospects and it may not go the way of success?  Two faces are the issue here.  And before you think I'm conjuring this stuff up, please know I've delivered the "two-faced" speech in my former corporate management life.  It went something like this; one face was in the room with management stating we'll let them go if the unit oesn't meet targets (usually unrealistic).  Another face was in front of the employees stating how the future was bright.

I write this post today to communicate something simple, yet complex.  Every leader who has human beings following them should be required to attend an all-day seminar on the marvels of human DNA.  If I were conducting the seminar I would say the following at its conclusion:

"After today think long and hard about who follows you.  And when you make your plans think about the implications-they're real and worth your consideration."

You can read here about some of the dynamics of our DNA.

Do You Know What Your Work Is?

Worker bees 
Do you know what your work is?  Most people could rattle off a list of things related to their career.  For example, a title, an employer's name, annual sales, deferred compensation, etc.  But those things are abstract compared to what your work is.  If you want a starting point in finding an answer, then the following question must be asked:

If you lost everything related to your career and I asked you to help my mission/movement, what could you offer?

Now notice, I didn't ask about your credentials, your experience, your references or what companies you worked for before.  I focused my question on you.  You!  That's where the answers begin to come into focus.  I know that may make you uncomfortable for a host of reasons.

Some people got their work from their parents, from their religion, from peer pressure, and it's all wrong.  Some people followed a path they couldn't fully see unfolding and stayed on it, and it's all right.  Regardless of which one represents you, the game is not over.  Unless you've fully surrendered and choose to look the other way.  What matters most is where you're going, not where you've been.  There's no greater a story than the person who says and lives out. "I need to make a change."

The following outlines some ways to get to that place of a fully-defined work:

  • Compile a list of what makes you come alive, makes you satisfied even when it exhausts you, makes you want to talk about it.  There could be other examples, but just start compiling.
  • Stop the negative self-talk.  You've made some mistakes, I've made some mistakes, everybody has.
  • Be vulnerable.  This opens the door to courage.  It will help you when you have to tell the world you need to make a change.
  • Before you rush into making a change ask yourself if your current setting is suited for your work.  Your current business, employer, etc., may be a great fit.  The main thing is to define what your work is.
  • If a change in career, for example, is necessary, then start small and build to the big.  Most people run out of gas because they go to fast and too far at once.  Patience is a virtue.

What A Florist Taught Me About Life and Work

Spring_Crocus 

I've taught people about the idea of "doing" what makes you come alive many times in my work.  You've either witnessed it in other people or discovered it within yourself.  Regardless, it's priceless and leaves a mark on you.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a florist in my city to buy my wife flowers.  I went to this small business because a couple of friends had just purchased it and I wanted to give them my business.

When I walked in I greeted Amy and congratulated her on the purchase and asked her how things were going.  She talked about the various marketing ideas she had, the changes to the look and feel of the store that were to come and how crazy things were going into the Valentines Day holiday.  But there was one thing she said that left a big mark on me.  The following are her words:

    "When I'm in the back working on arrangements, that's my place, that's my time to be."

Here's what I learned, and am still learning, from her words:

  1. Knowing who you are versus who you are not makes a big difference.
  2. Epic Living is defined by the individual and looks different for each person.
  3. Our Life is screaming out to us to pay attention.
  4. You have to have the vision, the willingness to act and the patience to experience your dreams.
  5. Entrepreneurism is a road filled with opportunity and risk.
  6. Doing a work that requires you to show up is essential.
  7. It's very important to listen to the stories of others.

I'm sure there's more I could add to the list, but we all can utter the words Amy did if we truly are willing to go on the journey.  It's my life's work to help you.