What I’ve Really Learned Most From Worry

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Worry In Life’s Classroom:

In my last post, there was only a title and a blank page. In a clever (so I thought) way I wanted to communicate that worry has taught me nothing. This is not entirely true.

In the end, worry has truly been a horrible teacher. If worry were a class, seminar or talk, I would go the other way. Alas, worry has been the cause of so much of my mental stress. I don’t like to think about how much of my lifetime has been sucked away by it.

In many ways worry is like fear, it must be managed. The discipline is a daily activity. Life happens and the elements are what they are. In the age of the Monkey Mind, so much comes at us. Here are some examples from my yesterday:

  • My son’s physical condition is unstable again
  • Did the audience get what I was writing
  • Why is that issue such a big deal to them, when it’s not me
  • Will the report reveal something I don’t want to know
  • I feel like I’m being manipulated

I could go on, but I think you get it. So, how did I manage those animals. It’s a blend of preparation and in-the-moment actions. The preparation comes in slowing down, practicing mindfulness daily, seeking God’s face, and knowing that life is not supposed to be easy. The “in-the-moment” actions are born out of emotional intelligence. The understanding that not every emotion and thought is to be held on to. An active letting go is key here. Absent of these, I would be a wreck.

Everyone has difficulties at work, tensions at home, disappointing health news, are all going to happen. You should expect the what comes your way because it will. America is ripe of people trying to numb and medicate their way around. The numb and medicate approach only makes it worse, for you and those around you. We were designed to go through, not around our potential worries. If you mange your worries, you will lead to a contented life.

The Value of Life, The Value of Today

Sunrise 

Got to thinking this morning about worry and the time extinguished by it.  I can't think of one instance in my life where worry has produced a breakthrough, happiness or satisfaction.  You are probably thinking I've just entered the "duh" zone because we all know this.  Right?  The truth is many know, but few do.

So why bother worrying?  Who taught us how to worry?  Who wrote the book on the 10 Proven Success Strategies of Worrying?

The take-away is found in our lack of embrace of life and the time given (implies a gift) to us on this big ball known as Earth.  We don't see our life as a whole, but parts.  We pick and choose what we like (usually the pain-fee comfortable ones) and ignore or run from the others.  Believe me, I understand that it's not all a matter of choosing the path you might be on.  Some of us were influenced by parents, teachers, marketing, and society's version of the truth.  We thought we were making the right choice.  Like the person who places their trust in someone who seemed honest, but was just a good actor/actress.  Regardless of that, we cannot excuse ourselves from making a change for the better.

The value of today has all but been erased in our thought process.  We're too busy to stop and look around.  Wer're rushing to things and outcomes that we can't be sure have any value at all.  Almost like closing your eyes, jumping and hoping that what you've been taught will deliver.  This is really a vivid portrait of a culture taking much for granted.  We don't stop and ask the tough questions of why, does this fit who I am, is this meaningful to me?

So how much time do you have to get this life in order?

I'm throwing the following out to you as way of stopping you in your tracks:

  1. Stop denying who you are!  Stop stuffing the real you in a closet for the sake of the opinions of others.  I think Steve Jobs referred to this as "others dogma."  If you've decided to put all your chips on being someone else, then prepare to meet the real you further down the road.
  2. Stop thinking you have time to get around to X or Y.  This is akind to someone who continues to ignore their human relationships.  They figure the other person doesn't need to hear certain words (I Love You) becuase they already know it's true.  Goodbye is the usual outcome here.  Warped logic.
  3. Stop embracing your career as if having a great career will make everything else fall into place.  Listen up, I tried this and it does not work.  
  4. Stop bankrupting your opportunities for happiness.  This happens when you abdicate the choice of happiness to circumstances, people, etc.
  5. Create a stop-doing list and create the margin your life has been screaming for.  A stop-doing list is simply you evaluating the habits, events, etc. and making the concisous decision to stop.