Got to thinking this morning about worry and the time extinguished by it. I can't think of one instance in my life where worry has produced a breakthrough, happiness or satisfaction. You are probably thinking I've just entered the "duh" zone because we all know this. Right? The truth is many know, but few do.
So why bother worrying? Who taught us how to worry? Who wrote the book on the 10 Proven Success Strategies of Worrying?
The take-away is found in our lack of embrace of life and the time given (implies a gift) to us on this big ball known as Earth. We don't see our life as a whole, but parts. We pick and choose what we like (usually the pain-fee comfortable ones) and ignore or run from the others. Believe me, I understand that it's not all a matter of choosing the path you might be on. Some of us were influenced by parents, teachers, marketing, and society's version of the truth. We thought we were making the right choice. Like the person who places their trust in someone who seemed honest, but was just a good actor/actress. Regardless of that, we cannot excuse ourselves from making a change for the better.
The value of today has all but been erased in our thought process. We're too busy to stop and look around. Wer're rushing to things and outcomes that we can't be sure have any value at all. Almost like closing your eyes, jumping and hoping that what you've been taught will deliver. This is really a vivid portrait of a culture taking much for granted. We don't stop and ask the tough questions of why, does this fit who I am, is this meaningful to me?
So how much time do you have to get this life in order?
I'm throwing the following out to you as way of stopping you in your tracks:
- Stop denying who you are! Stop stuffing the real you in a closet for the sake of the opinions of others. I think Steve Jobs referred to this as "others dogma." If you've decided to put all your chips on being someone else, then prepare to meet the real you further down the road.
- Stop thinking you have time to get around to X or Y. This is akind to someone who continues to ignore their human relationships. They figure the other person doesn't need to hear certain words (I Love You) becuase they already know it's true. Goodbye is the usual outcome here. Warped logic.
- Stop embracing your career as if having a great career will make everything else fall into place. Listen up, I tried this and it does not work.
- Stop bankrupting your opportunities for happiness. This happens when you abdicate the choice of happiness to circumstances, people, etc.
- Create a stop-doing list and create the margin your life has been screaming for. A stop-doing list is simply you evaluating the habits, events, etc. and making the concisous decision to stop.
Any other stop doing along the personal lines?
Thanks for the comments, Marc. I reduced the number of outlets I used for getting news. Used to have 4-5, now 2. Created the margin I was looking for…time wise.
Eric, I have a few questions for you.
Can you talk about your specific experiences here and provide some examples. We know each other pretty well and I know your personal story aligns so well to the points you make here. For instance what is your stop doing list? How have you learned from this list? What are the traps that keep us in place vs using the knowledge to actually start the “doing” to break free?
I will start off here–My stop doing list
Stop using the words “have to” and replace with “want to”
Stop my busyness and replace with doing the “important vs the urgent”
Practice what I preach and get coaching if I struggle
Be gentle and kind and live slowly vs ….
Stop thinking and do more doing
Sort of a play on Jim Collins’ idea, but designed for our personal life. Thanks for tuning in.
“Create a Stop-doing list”. Wow, I’ve never seen it that way. Very enlightening and inspiring. Thanks!